Beware of partners who exhibit any of these 12 loveless behaviors

If your partner does these things, run.

A woman with curly hair and a pensive expression looks at a blurred man in the foreground. The scene is softly lit with blue and pink tones, suggesting a contemplative atmosphere.

A lot of us look back on unhealthy relationships and wonder why we didn’t see the warning signs before damage had been done to us. If your partner starts to exhibit any of the behaviors listed here, even after you’ve been together for several years, you may wish to rethink your relationship.

1. Sociopathic lack of empathy.

Black and white photo of a person with long curly hair, looking intensely at the camera. Another person, partially visible, holds their face with one hand, creating a dramatic, intimate atmosphere.

They might see a person or an animal get hit by a car, and either display no emotion at all, or laugh about it. Similarly, hearing about someone else’s pain and suffering might simply get a shrug or a comment about not caring because it has nothing to do with them personally.

2. Not caring about (or remembering) anything important about you.

A woman and a man are sitting on a couch, engaged in a serious conversation. The woman is gesturing with her hand raised, while the man looks at her attentively. They are in a cozy living room with shelves and a lamp in the background.

Your partner might continually forget your birthday, or important details like food allergies that could potentially harm you. They simply don’t seem to care enough to lock that information down. Furthermore, they may get irritated with you if you get upset or ill because your hurt feelings are annoying to them.

3. If it doesn’t matter to them, it doesn’t matter at all.

A couple holds hands while walking on a paved street. The man, with dark hair and beard, wears sunglasses, a long-sleeve gray shirt, and black pants. The woman, with sunglasses and long hair, wears a denim vest over a white dress. Trees and buildings are in the background.

If something’s important to them, then you’re expected to move heaven and earth to make it happen (or make it stop, depending on the scenario). In contrast, whether you need their help or are in some type of crisis, they won’t care unless they’re personally affected by it.

4. Treating you like a shoe (disposable).

A woman sits on a bed looking upset, while a person in jeans and a brown shirt walks away holding a suitcase. There is a plant next to the bed, and the room has a soft, neutral color palette.

If you don’t offer them everything they want, they’ll drop you without hesitation for someone who fits their preferences better. Their general attitude is that there are 8 billion people on the planet, so they have no qualms about simply going and finding one that better fits their itinerary.

5. Annoyance if you get sick or injured.

A woman sits on a couch, looking upset and holding a tissue. In the background, a man sits with his hand on his head, gazing away. Both appear distressed, suggesting a tense or emotional moment between them.

If you cut yourself badly, they’ll get mad at you for bleeding on the carpet, rather than expressing concern about the fact that you’re hemorrhaging. Similarly, they’re likely to leave you if you get seriously ill, since that’s harshing their buzz and they didn’t sign up to be anyone’s nursemaid.

6. Everything is on their terms.

A man and a woman are standing in a bright room, engaged in a heated conversation. The man has an expressive gesture with one hand extended, while the woman is gesturing with both hands. They appear to be in a dining area with a table set in the background.

If and when they need you, they’ll be blowing up your phone and demanding your company. When it’s the other way around, however, there will be excuses and either passive or outright hostility at you for daring to make demands on their time (you’re so needy, they have other things to do, etc.)

7. During arguments, their goal is to hurt and win—not resolve.

A man wearing a pink t-shirt is angrily arguing with a woman who appears distressed. The woman, wearing a plaid-patterned outfit, has her eyes closed and is holding her forehead with one hand, sitting on a sofa in a tense environment.

Arguments are inevitable in relationships, but the goal is usually to resolve things with loving kindness. A loveless partner will seem incapable of wanting to fix underlying issues, and will instead focus on maintaining a superior position. To apologize or accept the role that they’ve played in a disagreement would result in appearing weak.

8. They want access to your finances but won’t grant you access to theirs.

A man with glasses and a beard sits at a wooden table, counting a stack of dollar bills. He is wearing a dark denim shirt and bracelets. The table has a laptop, a glass, and an exposed light bulb hanging above. Shelves and a plant are in the background.

They may be evasive or downright hostile if you want to discuss their finances, but they expect you to be transparent about your own. Similarly, they may insist upon the two of you sharing a joint account, but they’ll have another one on the side that you don’t have access to.

9. You have to utterly agree with their social views, be they political or otherwise.

A man and a woman stand close to each other against a gray background. The woman, wearing a blue top, has her hand on the man's chest and is looking at him with a serious expression. The man, in a denim shirt, faces her with a slightly amused look.

They can’t agree to disagree with you about anything, and expect you to fully concur with all the issues they care about. It doesn’t matter whether you show complete acceptance towards their leanings: if you share their views then you’re one of the good guys, but if not, then you’re “against us”.

10. Obviously one-sided relationship.

A man with a beard sits at a kitchen table holding a fork and spoon, looking up in anticipation, with an empty plate in front of him. In the background, a woman with long hair, wearing a white shirt and jeans, is busy at the kitchen counter.

It’s very clear that your relationship is non-reciprocal. You’re always giving, always doing things for them, and they’re happy to take… but give little to nothing in return. If they do, it’s grudgingly. Even worse, sometimes when you’re giving, they receive it grudgingly as well instead of acknowledging and appreciating you.

11. Holding onto grudges indefinitely.

A man and a woman sit on a park bench with serious expressions. The man has his head in his hand, looking down, while the woman sits beside him with her arms crossed, staring in the opposite direction. They appear to be having a disagreement.

Even if issues between you are wholly resolved, they’ll hold onto the grudges associated with them and draw from them like an arsenal. They might use them to manipulate situations to their advantage, or as weapons if they feel like they’re losing face and want to cause damage before retreating.

12. They turn their back on you when the chips are down.

A woman in a brown coat sits and covers her face with her hands, looking distressed. In the foreground, a man in a gray coat walks away, out of focus. The background shows an outdoor setting with blurred natural elements.

We inevitably have to deal with some pretty serious situations in our lives, and it’s during times of crisis that we see our loved ones’ true natures. When loss, sickness, or serious stresses happen, they’ll turn their back and walk away rather than standing by your side no matter what.