Do you self-soothe?
Life is stressful. People are complicated and sometimes unkind. There’s tragedy, turmoil, and poverty in the world. It’s rough out there for a lot of people.
Dealing with the complications of just trying to navigate life can be distressing. A relationship may not be going well, work might be a grind, or maybe the bills are stacking up with no end in sight.
Oh, did we mention mental illness? Because mental illness adds a whole different layer to the challenges of life.
And through all of that, we have to find a way to maintain a little peace and happiness.
That’s where self-soothing comes in. Self-soothing is the active management of your negative emotions so they can be dealt with healthily. These techniques help you calm your mind in the chaos and reduce the impact of stress on your body. But only if you choose to do them.
1. Take a hot bubble bath.
The bubbles, water temperature, and the scent will help pull your attention from your emotions to the bath. Sitting in hot water can be soothing for your body. It helps your muscles relax, which provides other physiological benefits that can help with calming.
2. Suck on an ice cube.
The intense cold of the ice cube brings your attention to the ice cube. Your mind will have a hard time focusing on your emotions when demanding that you pay attention to the sharp coldness in your mouth.
3. Curl up under a weighted blanket.
A weighted blanket can be helpful for people with anxiety and stress issues. The pressure of the weight is comforting and helps put your nervous system into rest mode. That helps to reduce anxious thoughts, heartbeat, and breathing.
4. Watch something funny.
Take your mind off of your emotions and troubles by spending some time with a funny show or movie that you enjoy. Not only does the visual stimulation give you something to focus on, but laughter helps your brain produce some feel-good chemicals that can help brighten the environment of your brain.
5. Have a hot drink (mindfully).
A hot drink gives you several things to focus your mind on while you drink it. There are the aroma and taste of it. You also have the heat of it on your tongue, down your throat, and coming to rest in your stomach that you can focus on.
6. Play with a pet.
Pets are an excellent source of stress relief and unconditional love. Spend some time with a pet if things are stormy and challenging in your mind. Focus your attention on your pet, playing with them, petting them, and thinking about them to help pull your mind away from your everyday stresses.
7. Re-write the narrative in your mind.
Negative thoughts will amplify negative emotions. You cannot sit in a mental space where you are tearing yourself down or telling yourself how everything can go wrong.
Instead, rewrite the narrative that is playing through your head. Focus on the positive. How can things go well? What did you do right? And if you can’t be positive at the moment, just strive to not be negative. It helps.
8. Remind yourself that you are not responsible for the actions of others.
Well, sometimes you are. Like if your kid breaks a window or something. But for the most part, you’re not responsible for other people’s actions, so why waste valuable energy on them? Remind yourself of that when you’re feeling angry, frustrated, or sad about others’ actions.
9. Employ box breathing.
What is box breathing? Inhale for four seconds, hold for four seconds, exhale for four seconds, hold for four seconds, and repeat the process. Count out the seconds. Focus on the counting and your breathing. Breathing exercises are a common and effective way to self-soothe and regain control.
10. Employ visual meditation.
Visual meditation is a bit different than what most people think of when they hear meditation. It’s less about clearing your mind of thoughts and more about focusing on a particular thing to clear your mind of everything other than that thing.
For example, you can light a candle and look into the flame. Consider the flame, the wick, the wax, the smoke, the smell of the candle. If you’re spiritually inclined, you can meditate on a religious icon and its symbolism as it is likely to be something you know well enough to think deeply of.
11. Avoid unhealthy self-soothing.
Of course, there are also plenty of negative things that people do to self-soothe that you should avoid. These kinds of things may provide some sort of immediate comfort, but they will cause a lot of harm in the long-term. You’re looking at things like:
– Drinking or drugs
– Long-term avoidance of problems
– Self-harm
– Risky sex or promiscuity
– Self-destructive behavior
– Smoking
– Gambling
– Over or under-eating
– Eating junk food
– Overworking
– Over or under-sleeping
Lots of things can be okay in moderation. We’re not suggesting that you move to a monastery or convent. It’s just that a lot of people use these unhealthy coping mechanisms to try to create some peace in their mind or happiness in their life and don’t realize they are setting themselves up for long-term failure.
Any one of these things, or maybe even a combination, can bring some temporary relief. The problem comes when it becomes a habit. As you do it more, it works less and less, so you seek more and more.
Next thing you know, it’s years later, and you’re trying to dig yourself out of a hole of negative, destructive habits that could have been avoided.
Don’t do that to yourself. Healthy self-soothing and emotional regulation can help you navigate the stresses of life without long-term repercussions.
Finally…
People respond differently to particular self-soothing techniques, so the best self-soothing technique is going to be the one that works for you. Just make sure that you try the technique multiple times before it writing off as ineffective.
Self-management of stress and mental health issues are typically not straightforward or immediate. It’s a skill that you may need to work on to reap the benefits.
The self-soothing techniques most likely to work involve pulling your mind and attention away from the source of the distress. And that involves a conscious choice. Are you willing to make that choice?
