People who choose to live without friendship may face these 10 consequences later on

10 things to consider when you choose a life without friends.

A woman with short dark hair and a blue shirt sits indoors, resting her head on her hand. She is looking at the camera with a subtle smile, wearing a grayish cardigan. The background is softly blurred.

Some people just don’t want or need many, or any, friends and that’s perfectly valid. But it’s important to also note that there are downsides to this choice.

So before you set sail for a solitary life, make sure you’ve considered the following.

1. There won’t be a support structure or net in case you need help with anything.

Older man sitting near a window, wearing a blue shirt, and looking downward. A reflection of the man is visible in the glass. The scene is softly lit with natural light from outside.

One benefit to having good friends is that you have a support network to lean on when you need to.

Just about all of us will experience some type of issue in our lives that will require us to enlist the help of others. Here’s hoping you never break some bones or get diagnosed with a serious illness that can leave you unable to fend for yourself for a while.

These situations require both physical and emotional support, such as people to help with basic needs like grocery shopping or rides to the hospital, as well as cheerleading pep talks when depression or despair hit.

Of course, those who are wealthy enough can simply hire nurses, drivers, and domestic help to sort out all of their needs. But if you aren’t rich and you don’t have family members available to help you through dark times, who are you going to lean on when and if things get dire?

2. You won’t have anyone to share great experiences with.

A bearded man wearing a black hat, denim jacket, and striped shirt stands outdoors. Sunlight filters through trees in the background, casting shadows on the ground.

In addition to not having anyone around to lean on during the dark times, not having friends means that you won’t have anyone to share good times with either.

Spending birthdays and holidays alone can be depressing at times, especially if they’re milestones. Similarly, experiences worthy of celebration (like achievements, work promotions, etc.) won’t be shared by anyone you care about.

Sure, you could announce it aloud at your local pub and get a halfhearted “huzzah!” from the surrounding inebriates, but it won’t be quite the same.

That also applies to travel adventures and the like. Road-tripping solo can be great, but road-tripping with a good friend can be a hell of a lot of fun. Especially if it means that you’re not the only driver for the entire journey. Similarly, are you interested in exploring a place that doesn’t recommend solitary travel? Having a trustworthy companion with you would be worth its weight in gold.

3. Friends often help to keep us accountable.

A woman in a green shirt sits at a desk with a laptop, holding her eyeglasses in one hand and rubbing her eyes with the other, appearing tired or stressed. A small plant is on the table nearby. The background features office furniture.

Have you decided to do an online University course but sometimes lack the will or motivation to keep at it? Or maybe you’re overhauling your diet and exercise regime but are self-sabotaging?

This is where friends can be immensely helpful. Those whom we trust and care about (and who care about us in turn) can be wonderful cheerleaders when it comes to helping us achieve our goals. Whether it’s as “simple” as learning to cook a new meal, or as intense as training for a 10k triathlon, our friends can be our biggest supporters.

Who’s going to be there to taste that new dish with you? And who’s going to be waiting for you at the finish line, cheering your name and waving a horribly embarrassing sign?

The effort required to cultivate a friendship that can enrich your life wonderfully is often absolutely worthwhile when it makes you smile that fiercely.

4. They often bring important things to light that we would have otherwise missed.

A woman with long brown hair and a serious expression gazes softly past the camera. She is wearing a white blouse with thin black stripes. The background is dimly lit, creating a moody atmosphere.

A friend who knows you well can also tell when things aren’t quite right with you. Furthermore, they’ll often risk potentially upsetting or offending you if it means that they might be able to help, on some level.

Friends don’t just see our blind spots – they also have different perspectives from our own. We might think that we’re doing just fine, muddling along as we’ve been doing, when a friend who hasn’t seen us for a while lets us know that we look like complete crap and need a rest.

They might also be able to see physiological changes that concern them, but we might have been oblivious to, like “hey, that mole on your neck looks bigger from the last time I saw you, so you might want to get that checked out” or “you’ve lost a ton of weight in the last month – is everything okay?”

5. Friends can offer social support during difficult times.

A woman with short, tied-back hair gazes thoughtfully out of a window. She is wearing a grey sweater and has her hand resting on the window frame. Green foliage is visible outside the window, suggesting it is daytime.

This is different from needing someone to pick up groceries for you when you’re bedbound. Rather, it’s about being able to talk to someone who knows you and cares about you if and when you go through a rough time.

Sure, having a therapist or spiritual advisor whom you can reach out to in a crisis is great, especially since they won’t have any demands on your time outside of that interaction. But neither is likely going to be available to you spontaneously. You’d need to book time with the former or go visit your place of worship for the latter, while a friend is usually just a phone call or text away.

We all go through emotional difficulty at times. Stress and upset are rather inevitable, and sometimes we just need a friendly voice to either reassure us, or tell us to pull our heads out of our backsides because we’re being ridiculous. A good friend can snap someone out of a panic attack or reassure them during heartbreak.

They can also offer different perspectives when we’re trapped in our own heads and can’t see past our own emotions.

The key here is to not abuse friends by treating them like therapists. Reach out and talk to them when you need them, sure, but don’t use them as emotional dumping grounds. Similarly, it’ll be important to reciprocate, and be there for them when they need support in turn.

6. Other people can often help us discover new things to fall in love with.

A smiling elderly man with gray hair and a beard sits on a couch, wearing large white headphones and holding a smartphone. He appears relaxed, listening to music, with a large window and exposed brick wall in the background.

How often do you listen to music you really love and then remember that it was a friend of yours who introduced you to that band? What about the hobbies you adore? Did you try them out totally at random? Or did you develop your interests after spending time with people who were into those things?

I’m not sure about you, but some of the films, bands, cuisines, books, and pastimes that I adore the most are those I got into thanks to my friends. Furthermore, taking part in these pastimes (or even reveling in really glorious food) brings back really wonderful memories of time spent with great people.

I can’t knit anything or enjoy my favorite soup without thinking of my friend Vanessa, for example, and the evenings I spent hanging out with her at her place. She introduced me to both that recipe, and the joy of transforming yarn into clothing with some pointy sticks.

Similarly, someone I know switched careers and became a full-time calligrapher and letterer after seeing a friend of his create an illuminated manuscript for a reenactment group.

Friendships can open doors for us that we would have never otherwise discovered at all, let alone walked through.

7. There’s a potential loss of interpersonal skills without regular human interaction.

A man with short dark hair sits at a wooden counter by a window, holding a disposable coffee cup with both hands. He looks out the window thoughtfully, wearing a blue and green plaid shirt. The interior has a warm, cozy atmosphere with minimalistic decor.

Have you ever spent time with someone who’s worked from home or otherwise spent a lot of time alone, without interpersonal connections? Quite often, they’ve lost certain social or communication skills via lack of practice.

This of course depends on the individual, but skills we stop using on a regular basis tend to lose their sharpness over time. For example, if and when people communicate solely by text, they might find themselves lost for words or stammering when trying to talk to others face to face.

Similarly, if they’ve been eating alone on the couch with their cat for a couple of years, they may have gotten out of the habit of using proper dining etiquette.

If you’re determined to not have any friends, then be sure to keep flexing your social skill muscles on a regular basis.

Read books aloud so you don’t forget how to speak articulately. Hell, if the only speaking you do on a daily basis revolves around you baby-talking your cat, you may have gotten out of practice with talking much at all. As a result, if you have an online interview or meeting – either with your current employer or a potential one – you may find yourself babbling and stammering instead of holding a fluid conversation.

8. There’s a missed opportunity for balance.

Two elderly men are sitting outdoors, engaged in conversation. One wears a red and black plaid jacket, while the other sports a striped shirt and glasses. The background is blurred with greenery, suggesting a park or garden setting.

Finding a balance in life is something most of us are perpetually striving towards, and friendships are no different. Furthermore, just because you feel a particular way today doesn’t mean that you’ll feel that way tomorrow. And that’s okay too.

Let’s say you’ve had to deal with a ton of crap from so-called friends and decided that you just want to be left alone. Maybe you’ve moved to another town (or state, or country) and started again with a completely clean slate. Perhaps you’ve even gone a couple of years with little human contact other than a few colleagues via Zoom calls.

All of a sudden, you wake up one day and decide that you wouldn’t be opposed to a bit more human contact than you’ve had recently. Perhaps it’s not that you didn’t want or need any friends all that time, you just didn’t want or need many friends.

Sometimes, people who are determined that they don’t want friends may find that they’d be okay with just one. They might click with a new person they’ve met and feel like they’ve known them forever. Or perhaps they’ve been talking to someone online for years and have developed more trust and faith in this person than anyone they’ve ever known face to face.

9. Your overall health and well-being may suffer.

An elderly person walks on a paved path through a serene, green forest. They are wearing a blue jacket and carrying a black bag, with fallen leaves scattered on the ground. Tall trees border the path, creating a peaceful, natural setting.

People who are deprived of authentic interpersonal connections don’t live as long as those who have at least one good friend. In fact, research suggests that those with healthy social lives can live up to 50% longer than loners. Furthermore, additional research also shows that loneliness and isolation can increase our risk of high blood pressure (hypertension).

You might be hesitant to cultivate friendships because you don’t want to engage in small talk, or you don’t have the energy to deal with daily texts, calls, or drama.

The key here is to cultivate the types of friendships that you feel comfortable in having. Rather like dating to find a compatible partner, you can try out different friendship connections until you find one (or two) that are right for you.

There are plenty of people out there who also despise small talk, love the same things you do, and are magnificently low-maintenance. They won’t hound you on a regular basis, nor will they pressure you to go out and do stuff you’re not interested in. But they might share great music or hilarious memes with you, and offer some resources that can help you out if you find yourself in a difficult spot.

10. It can reduce tolerance and make it harder to compromise later down the line.

Two women are sitting at a table across from each other. The woman on the left, with dark hair, appears stressed, holding her hands to her temples. The woman on the right, with blonde hair, has her back to the camera. They are indoors, near large windows.

If you do decide that you want to ease back into cultivating friendships at some point, you may find it hard to accept that people aren’t meals or equipment that you can order to your specifications. There will always be aspects of other people that irritate us, but part of human connection is tolerating others’ quirks and foibles (just as they tolerate ours).

For instance, you may discover an incredible connection with a wonderful person but dislike a certain mannerism of theirs or the way they pronounce “salmon.” That’s part of who they are, and it would be unfair to ask them to change just to suit your personal preference. Ask yourself whether the minor irritation you feel is worth discarding a sincere connection with a wonderful person.

Compromise, patience, compassion, and tolerance are necessary in healthy human interactions. Imagine how society would be if we were all expected to behave or look a certain way because someone else demanded that we do so!

Finally…

A person with short, yellow and orange hair stands outdoors in a snowy setting. They are wearing a dark scarf and have a neutral expression. The background is blurred with trees and buildings.

Ultimately, the decision whether or not to have friends is entirely up to the individual. Weigh the pros and cons associated with friendship versus solitude. Then take into consideration your own needs as far as interpersonal connections go.

Remember that you can always change your mind in either direction. If you try solitude and find that you need more companionship, then reach out to establish it. Alternatively, if you narrow your circle of friends and still find that they’re too much, take a big step back and focus on yourself instead. Animals and books also make excellent friends, after all.

Furthermore, being alone doesn’t mean that one is “lonely.” In fact, you may find significantly more peace and joy in solitude than you would with throngs of acquaintances.

You are entirely within your rights to choose the type of life that you want to live. And if that’s one in which you’re autonomous and free, with only occasional interpersonal connections that don’t drain you or stress you out, then follow your bliss.