If you don't let go of these 11 habits, you'll look back on a wasted life

Are you wasting your life?

A man with a beard wears a red beanie and white t-shirt, standing in an open area with a paved surface. The sun is setting in the background, casting a warm glow over the scene.

Many people will have thought this at some point.

We all have moments when we feel like we’re not making the most of our lives. But it’s normally a passing thought that comes when we’re having a bad day, a tough week, or haven’t been particularly productive recently, for whatever reason.

If you’re consistently doing things that are a waste of your precious time and energy, that’s another story. You only get one shot at life, do you want to regret how you chose to live it?

If you’re doing any of the following things on a regular basis, be warned: you’re not making the most of the life you’ve been given.

1. Comparing yourself to others.

Two women with long blonde hair sit back-to-back on a couch, wearing casual shirts and jeans, with arms crossed. Shelves with books and a window with curtains are in the background, creating a cozy indoor setting.

Mark Twain said, “Comparison is the death of joy,” and I think we can all agree on that. After all, even if you compare yourself favorably to someone else, the happiness you gain from it is a twisted kind of happiness.

Have you ever stopped to think about whether you really want all those things you’ve decided your life won’t be complete without, or whether you just feel like you should have them, because someone else does?

Humans have always suffered from comparison-itis, but social media has made it part of our everyday reality, as we’re presented with other people’s perfect social media lives every day, multiple times a day.

You’re never going to be able to stop comparing yourself to others entirely, because it’s in our nature. But you can reframe…

You can remind yourself that just because someone else is succeeding, it doesn’t mean you’ve failed. Success takes a million different forms, and you don’t have to have all the things your Facebook friend has in order to be happy.

You can also take into account that all those people sharing their lives online only share the good stuff, just like you do. You can bet there’s plenty going on behind the scenes that isn’t so picture-perfect. You need to learn to be happy for the success that others have whilst focusing on plowing your own furrow.

2. Spending too much time on your phone.

A woman looks at a man with a concerned expression as he smiles while using his smartphone. They are seated at an outdoor table with food and drinks. There is a red flower on the table in the foreground.

Phone addiction is a major contributor to a wasted life.

If you spend many hours each day scrolling through social feeds, reading articles, playing games, or watching videos, it can make it hard to be productive and get things done.

If you think you’re addicted, you may find yourself refreshing social feeds every few minutes to see if there is anything new. You may click on video after video because you are drawn in by their titles or thumbnails. You may check the same apps over and over out of compulsion rather than because you need to.

Do you have to take your phone with you from one room to another, even if you’ll only be gone five minutes? Do you ever check your phone in the middle of the night? Are your eyes glued to the screen when you walk anywhere? Do you respond to messages within seconds of receiving them?

All of these things point toward an unhealthy attachment to your smartphone. An unhealthy attachment that will waste the best years of your life if you let it.

3. Spending too much time with negative friends.

Three people are sitting around a table in a cafe. A woman with dark hair is speaking, while a man with short hair and a woman with red hair listen attentively. The cafe has large windows and a casual atmosphere.

The people we spend time with influence the way we think and act. If you spend time with people who are overly negative, who aren’t ambitious, and who blame others for their shortcomings, you’ll get stuck in that mindset too.

That’s not to say that you can’t rant and express your negative feelings with others—everyone needs to do that once in a while.

The problem comes when that’s all you ever talk about with a certain person or group of people. If there is no positivity coming from someone, they’ll just drag you down to their level whenever you are around them.

Whilst you do need authentic friendships and people you can be yourself around, you don’t have to remain friends with people whose company no longer serves you or who you have grown apart from.

If you want to keep these people in your life you could suggest that you all try to improve your lives and yourselves, but expect to meet resistance to this idea because people can only change if they want to change and most people don’t want to change.

4. Being ungrateful for everything you do have.

A man with gray hair and a beard, wearing glasses and a rust-colored sweater, sits in a chair and holds a phone to his mouth. Sunlight streams in through a window with patterned curtains in the background.

One of the main keys to feeling more fulfilled in your life—just the way it is at this very moment—is to kick your level of gratefulness up a notch. We sometimes spend so much time focusing on what we don’t have and want we want, that we have no appreciation for all the things we do have in our lives.

If you want to up your levels of gratitude, take some time at the end of each day to think about, say, five things that you’re grateful for. It might be your family, your home, your friends, beautiful weather, a professional achievement, or just the fact that you’re healthy.

That will help you focus on all the positive things in your life, however small or seemingly insignificant they might be. It will also take your attention off that slip-up at work or that thing your friend from school posted on Facebook.

5. Trying to change your loved ones rather than accept them for who they are.

A middle-aged couple sits at a kitchen table, enjoying breakfast. The woman wears a blue jacket, and the man a brown one. They have coffee and pastries. The room is bright and modern, with white cabinets and a bit of greenery in the background.

If you spend all your time focusing on the things you wish you could change about the ones you love, then your relationships will be strained, and you’re bound to feel dissatisfied.

Do what you can to accept the people you love for exactly who they are, rather than focusing on aspects of their character that you find less than ideal.

Love them for exactly who they are now, not who you think they have the potential to be.

6. Wanting things for the wrong reasons.

A man in a grey dress shirt and tie sits with his head resting on one hand, looking worried or stressed. He is in an indoor setting, possibly a cafe or office. A drink is partially visible in the foreground.

It’s fine to want more out of life, within reason. It’s good to have ambition and goals. It’s great to be motivated to make more of yourself.

But there should be logic behind your choices and the things you’re striving for or beating yourself up about.

Perhaps you’ve decided you want a new car. Is that something that would actually boost your happiness or make your life easier?

Perhaps you’ve decided you want to make more money. Is that because you struggle to get to the end of the month and are worried about being able to take care of your family?

You need to be clear on exactly why it is you want things, rather than just deciding that you do for no reason at all.

Ask yourself what the reasoning behind that want is, and where the desire comes from. If you find rock-solid reasons, then that’s brilliant, as it gives you some direction and purpose to keep going and make positive changes to your life.

7. Failing to see the silver lining in situations.

A man with a beard is standing outdoors on a sunny day, looking upwards with a thoughtful expression. He is wearing a gray t-shirt, and there are trees and a grassy field in the background.

Okay, so it’s not always possible to find the positive in a situation. There are some events in life for which it is hard to find a silver lining. But if you’ve had some bad luck recently, try your best to look at those events from a positive perspective.

For example, if you’ve been let go from a job that you hated, try to think of it as motivation to finally start doing something more fulfilling.

Doors closing generally mean windows open, so do your best to look for that window in every situation.

8. Neglecting to put the time and effort into friendships.

Two women are walking and laughing together outdoors. One wears a beige jacket and the other a denim jacket. They are on a tree-lined street with colorful flags in the background, enjoying a sunny day.

True friendship is a gift that we often take for granted, but it can make a huge difference to your levels of satisfaction and fulfillment.

Build those friendships by reaching out to the people who are important to you more often, organizing activities to do together, and letting them know how important they are to you.

Life is never wasted when it’s spent with good people.

9. Being closed off to change.

A concerned younger man holds the hands of an older man sitting on a couch in a bright living room. The older man appears serious, while the younger offers comfort. There are houseplants and soft natural light in the background.

If you’re set in your ways and not open to change, then, logically, you’re not going to be able to grow or progress.

Try to approach potential changes in life with open arms so you know that there’s the possibility of new, exciting challenges on the horizon.

Opening yourself up to change is about making a conscious effort to change your behavior. So, if you notice that you have a bad habit, make a point of trying to work on it every time you get a chance. And it’s about actively listening to people who express views that don’t coincide with yours, always being willing to adapt your approach to things if there’s a better way that you haven’t considered.

10. Not making enough effort with your family.

Three people sit together on the edge of a pool, smiling and laughing. An older couple, a man and woman, are sitting next to a younger woman. They are enjoying a sunny day, with their feet in the water. Casual clothing and trees in the background.

Just as building stronger bonds with friends can transform the way you see the world, making more of an effort with your family can also give your life so much meaning. Of course, this only applies if your family are a positive influence in your life, rather than a constant drain, or worse, abusive.

So, assuming it’s the former, call your family more often and make plans to spend more time with them.

At the end of the day, it’s probably going to be your family you’re most concerned about, so deliberately spending more quality time with them is time well spent.

11. Putting off big plans.

A woman sitting on a couch smiles while reading a travel brochure. She is wearing a white blouse and a black headband. The brochure features beach imagery and a 50% discount offer. A blurred background with lights is visible.

Contentment in life is rooted in the everyday, but that doesn’t mean that a little excitement, challenge, and change won’t make you feel like you’re really achieving things and really living life.

So, if you’ve been meaning to go on that big trip, book it. If you’ve been meaning to visit somewhere, learn something, try something, experience something…

…get out there and do it!

Push yourself a little and try things that are out of your comfort zone, so that at the end of the year you’ll be able to look back with a smile on all the things you’ve done and how far you’ve come.