12 Things You Don't Realize You're Doing Because You're Extremely Lonely

Are you more lonely than you realize?

A woman sitting on a sofa in a dimly lit room, with sunlight creating patterns on her and the furniture. She wears a white shirt and jeans, resting her head on her hand. A book is on the wooden table in the foreground.

Loneliness can sneak up on you, and even your everyday activities can turn into hidden habits that mask your yearning for connection. You might not even realize that your routine behavior is actually a way of coping with feeling alone. Here’s how these common actions might tell a different story about your solitude.

1. You overuse social media.

A person with long dark hair lies in bed, resting their head on a white pillow while looking at a smartphone held in their right hand. The person is under a white blanket, and the room has a soft blue light. The person has a pensive expression.

Scroll through, like, comment—rinse and repeat. You might think you’re killing time on social media, but really, you’re searching for a connection that likes and shares just can’t satisfy. Each minute you’re spending online makes the silence you experience offline even louder. Eventually, you end up feeling even more isolated. Watching other people seemingly live their best lives while you’re just clicking away in the background just hurts.

2. You can’t stop talking to strangers.

A group of young adults in a subway car. Two people are standing and smiling in the foreground, holding onto poles. Two others are seated, engaged in conversation. The subway interior is light blue with yellow accents.

You probably speak to baristas or people in line because you’re simply looking to talk with someone. After all, these brief exchanges with strangers can be the most conversation you’ve had all day. You’re craving a simple “Hello.” It’s these small moments of contact that remind you there are real people out there. The world is a lot more than profiles and avatars!

3. You go shopping a lot.

An elderly woman in a bright pink shirt is standing at a supermarket checkout counter, holding a wallet and an avocado. She is smiling and interacting with a person handing over a credit card. A green shopping basket with fruits and vegetables is on the counter.

Sometimes, that impulsive trip to buy a new gadget or outfit is less about the stuff and more about the human interaction at the checkout counter. You’re looking for fleeting moments with store clerks to replace the connections missing in your day-to-day life. Each purchase rings up a little pang of regret. But not for the expense. No, it’s for the return to solitude once the transaction ends.

4. You constantly watch TV.

A man wearing a beige t-shirt and jeans is sitting on a dark blue couch with pillows, holding a remote control and staring straight ahead with a neutral or slightly displeased expression. The background is plain beige.

Who needs real friends when you have four seasons of your favorite show queued up? Binge-watching is an easy way to drown out the quiet of an empty living room because the laughter and drama of fictional lives keep it at bay. Soon enough, the characters become your temporary family. They’re there in spirit but not in reality.

5. You’re a workaholic.

A woman sits on a cluttered sofa, talking on the phone with a worried expression. She holds paperwork on her lap and a laptop nearby. Baby clothes and a pacifier are scattered around, indicating a busy home environment.

If your workday becomes a work-24-hours more often than not, ask yourself why. Getting too stuck into your work might be your way of avoiding an empty apartment. After all, it’s a lot easier to face a pile of paperwork than the silence waiting at home. You don’t have to acknowledge how lonely you are when you’re completing projects.

6. You don’t care about self-care.

A woman with shoulder-length hair and a striped shirt sits on a bed, resting her head on her hand. She is smiling slightly, with a window and soft light in the background.

Ignoring self-care is one of the most obvious signs of loneliness. Since there’s no one around to notice, it’s easy to skip getting a haircut or a morning jog, although that’s not a good excuse to do so. You might think it’s just laziness, but it’s so much more than that. Instead, you don’t have the motivation to impress or engage with others.

7. You hold onto things for too long.

A woman with long brown hair and a serious expression gazes softly past the camera. She is wearing a white blouse with thin black stripes. The background is dimly lit, creating a moody atmosphere.

Everybody knows that letting go is hard, and that’s why you might be keeping old movie stubs or broken gadgets. You’re desperately trying to hold onto happier times. These items are some of the few ties you have to a less lonely past, along with the ghosts of friends and lovers gone by. You’re holding on because the thought of letting go is too terrifying.

8. Your sleep schedule is out of whack.

A woman sleeps peacefully in a large bed with white bedding. She has dark hair and is covered with a comforter. On either side are white nightstands with a clock, books, and a plant. Pink slippers are on the floor beside the bed.

Too much sleep or not enough—both are clear symptoms of loneliness. If you’re escaping into your dreams to pass the time or tossing and turning because of a nagging emptiness, it might be time to look at what’s really keeping you awake. Chances are that it’s more than simply bad habits. Rather, it’s a deep-seated dread of facing another day alone.

9. You have disordered eating habits.

A woman with long dark hair enthusiastically eating spaghetti from a fork against a brick wall background. She is wearing a white tank top and holding a plate of pasta. Her expression is playful and energetic.

Whether you’re reaching for another cookie or skipping meals altogether, how you eat can reflect how you feel. Your disordered eating habits are a sign that you’re super sad there’s no one to share a meal with. In fact, they often indicate a deeper emotional hunger. The kitchen sees all but shares nothing, and your dining table remains an empty space.

10. You’re stuck in daydreams.

A man wearing a gray beanie and green jacket sits outdoors, looking contemplatively into the distance. His curly hair is visible, and a light drizzle has left water droplets on his jacket. The background is a hazy landscape.

It’s easy to get caught up in fantasies about having a busy social life or a perfect relationship, but this shouldn’t be happening all the time. When it does, these daydreams are likely a sanctuary from the reality of everyday isolation. Your mind is compensating for the social interactions you crave. Why? Because in your mind, there’s no danger, and every scenario is happier than your current one.

11. You replace people with pets.

An elderly man sitting on a red bench outdoors, petting a small brown and white dog beside him. A tabby cat sits on his lap. The man has gray hair and is wearing a plaid shirt and dark pants. The background is a light-colored wall.

Of course, loving your pet is a great thing, and that should never change. But when you’re setting the table for two with your cat, it might be a sign of deeper loneliness because it means you’re over-relying on pets for companionship. That kind of behavior shows just how wired we humans are for connection. Your furry friend listens and doesn’t judge you.

12. You change hobbies frequently.

A man and a woman sitting on stools, painting on canvases mounted on easels in an art studio. The man, wearing a green checkered shirt, smiles at the camera while holding a palette and brush. The woman, in a white top, is focused on her painting of flowers.

If your interests shift faster than TV channels, it could mean you’re searching for something to fill your time and mind. You’re hoping that this constant switch will keep the persistent feeling of loneliness at bay as each new hobby gives you a moment of distraction. Even if it doesn’t pan out in the long term, it fills the void in the meantime.