How To Become Your Own Best Friend: 10 No Nonsense Tips

10 Ways To Be Your Own Best Friend

A person with long hair is smiling and leaning back with their hands behind their head. They are wearing a colorful striped sweater and sitting against a light blue background.

To be your own best friend is the greatest gift you can give yourself.

Life is hard. Friends come and go. Relationships will start and end. But the one thing that is consistent through everything else is you will spend your life with yourself.

You are the one who will be present throughout the good times and the bad. Other people will certainly play a role, but they can’t be there all the time.

Therefore, doesn’t it make sense to develop a healthy friendship with yourself? After all, you don’t need that person mucking about in your brain, messing things up. Right?

The process of developing and growing a friendship with yourself is something that you’ll need to work at regularly, particularly if you don’t have a great opinion of yourself to begin with. Be patient and kind with yourself as you continue to work at it.

The following tips will help you achieve that goal.

1. Start to become more self-aware of your strengths and weaknesses, likes and dislikes.

A person with long dark hair in a braid leans against a window, looking outside with a thoughtful expression. They wear a pink button-up shirt and rest one hand on their head. The background is softly blurred.

Self-awareness is an essential part of being a better friend to yourself. You need to understand your strengths so that you can leverage them to improve and propel yourself forward. And you need to understand your flaws so that you can accommodate them or find ways to work around them.

There are many different ways to develop self-awareness, well outside the scope of this article, but we’re going to give you a solid way to start.

Look at the things you like and dislike, and answer the question, “Why?” Answering the why behind these likes and dislikes will inform you of why you are making some of the choices you do. Once you’ve identified that core information, you can then use it to find other things you will like and dislike.

Apply “Why?” to every aspect of your life. Why did you choose the career you’re in? Why do you love your hobby? Why do you dislike rainy days? Ask “why?” and keep pulling yourself apart until you get to the core of it all.

2. Compliment yourself regularly.

A man with short, dark hair and a beard is looking at himself in a mirror. He is wearing a maroon shirt and standing in a well-lit room with a white brick wall, a lamp, and some plants.

What can you compliment yourself on regularly? There is likely to be something in your life that you do well that deserves a compliment. It doesn’t have to be amazing to deserve praise. Sometimes the mere act of survival in the face of whatever hardships you face is worthy of praise. Just choosing to get out of bed and try again is a powerful thing when life has been kicking you around for a while, or you’re not in a good mental space.

The purpose of complimenting is to help shift your mindset. It can be far easier to dwell on the negatives of ourselves – what we wish we were, who we think we should be. And then you have other people who are happy to tell you how much you suck or take their frustrations out on you.

To be your own best friend, you have to work to counter that. Talk to yourself as you’d talk to a best friend who is another person. Would you trash them or tear them down? Would you dismiss their accomplishments or undermine their successes? No! And you shouldn’t do it to yourself either, even if you don’t feel you are worthy or deserving of it.

3. Spend quality time with yourself doing a hobby.

A person wearing a beanie and green jacket is holding a fishing rod, smiling at a lake or riverbank. There are reeds in the background and the sky is overcast.

Modern culture is all about productivity, hustle, and stress. So take some time to develop a solo hobby that isn’t about being productive. Or if it is productive, something that isn’t tied to finding a way to make more money.

Some quality time by yourself immersed in a hobby gives you time to focus, reflect, and clear your mind.

Create something! Even if you don’t feel like you’re an artistic person. Some doodling or casual writing can be a great way to jog things out of your mind.

You may also try fishing, hiking, walking, cycling, or gardening if that’s more your thing.

4. Find a way to exercise that works for you.

An older woman in a white shirt and beige pants sits on a yellow yoga mat, performing a side stretch with one arm over her head. She is in a cozy room with a potted plant, a standing lamp, and a wooden chair in the background.

Taking care of your physical health goes a long way toward preserving and improving your mental health. You can take pride in a job well done after a good session of exercise.

What is the best exercise? The one that you are most likely to do!

So many people look at exercise as this unpleasant thing that they just have to do. It doesn’t have to be that way if you look for an exercise that is actually enjoyable for you.

You can sign up for a gym and swim, lift weights, or run. You may also want to look at casual sporting leagues where you can go play softball or basketball with other people. Even walking or running regularly by yourself is a great way to get out and active. If all of that seems too far out of reach for whatever reason, there are really gentle stretches you can do from the comfort of your own chair. The key is to move, even if only a tiny bit.

5. Take yourself out on a solo date.

A woman with long brown hair sits at a wooden table in a restaurant, about to eat a dish of pasta topped with greens. A glass of orange juice is on her right, and the background features colorful cushions and green plants.

People can be so strange about going out to an activity on your own. The great part about a solo date is that you can divert all of your attention to yourself and the activity. You don’t have to worry about being a good date, making sure your partner is having a good time, or trying to make the situation something more than it is. You can just go out and have a good time.

Quality time by yourself allows you the space to appreciate your own company.

6. Practice gratitude for what makes you unique.

Woman with long, wavy brown hair gazes into the distance in a sunlit outdoor scene. She wears a beige shirt, and the warm sunlight highlights her face and hair, creating a serene and thoughtful atmosphere.

Gratitude is such a powerful tool for improving the way you think and perceive the world. It’s also powerful in the way that it can help shape your perception and relationship with yourself.

Finding gratitude allows you to focus on what you have, what you can control, and what makes you uniquely you. It focuses on your gifts and your strengths, and celebrates when you make good decisions.

Employing gratitude for the unique gifts that make you who you are will help you think kinder of yourself when things aren’t so great. The more you practice gratitude, the easier it is to shift away from those negative, destructive thought processes that can undermine a loving relationship with yourself.

7. Learn to enjoy your own company.

A man is lying comfortably on a yellow couch, reading a book. He is wearing a light blue shirt and appears relaxed, with two yellow cushions supporting him. The background is neutral, emphasizing the cozy indoor setting.

Some people have a difficult time being alone. This is a problem that needs to be addressed if you want to improve your relationship with yourself. It’s okay to be alone sometimes. Just because you’re alone doesn’t mean you have to be lonely.

Are you good company for yourself? Can you make yourself happy without other people? Do you have confidence that you can find a way to spend your time when you do have to be alone?

If not, these are all good strengths to develop. Pursuing solo activities is a good way to build that part of yourself up.

8. Develop and understand your boundaries.

A woman in a black blazer and white shirt holds up her hand with palm facing outward, as if signaling to stop. She is looking downward, standing against a plain gray background.

Boundaries help you protect yourself from the negativity of other people and bad choices. For example, you cannot be a good friend to yourself if you let other people walk all over you or make bad decisions without considering the consequences. And that’s where boundaries come into play.

Do you understand where your boundaries are? Do you know why you have them? Or should have them? Are there people who treat you unkindly to whom you should not give that kind of leverage?

Frankly, hanging out with the wrong people can do so much damage to your sense of self-worth and self-respect. It’s better to avoid those kinds of people altogether. It’s better to be alone than with the wrong people. Protect yourself and your space with solid boundaries.

9. Journal to keep track of your progress.

A man in a gray suit with a red tie and glasses sits in a chair by a window, holding an open book and a pen. He appears to be deep in thought and is looking out the window with a contemplative expression. Behind him is a neatly made bed.

A journal is a powerful tool for self-improvement. It will help you tremendously as you work to improve your relationship with yourself. In it, you can record your goals, what steps you’re taking toward them, how you feel about them, and how you feel about yourself.

You can also include encouragement and positive notes to help bolster you when you feel like you’re faltering.

Another great thing about keeping a journal is that it’s much easier to track your progress. You’ll be able to look back and see how you’re growing, what you’ve done to improve, and have a record of what works and what doesn’t. This helps you tailor your future efforts so that they continue to be effective in growing the friendship you have with yourself.

10. Accept and love your flaws as much as your strengths.

A woman with long red hair gazes into the camera, smiling slightly. She holds a hand near her face, revealing a tattoo on her forearm. The sky is clear and blue in the background.

Can you love your flaws as intensely as your strengths? It’s hard, but it is achievable. Your flaws are just as much of you as your good qualities, for better or worse. And one of the ways that you can treat yourself as your best friend is to identify and accept those flaws, and love them fiercely.

Love is not just about the positive things. It’s just as much about embracing the challenges and flaws that come with just about anything. People are all flawed creatures. Even good experiences you have in life may not be entirely positive or come with baggage attached.

You will too. You are a person. You will have merits and flaws like every other person. You don’t need to be perfect.

So when you look in the mirror in the morning, you need to value and love that flawed person looking back at you. Remind yourself that if you keep trying and keep working at it, you will eventually learn better ways to navigate those flaws.

That positive focus will help you build a love for your flaws as well as yourself.