Don’t feel you have to justify these choices to anyone.
It’s your life to do with how you see fit. That’s a truth that many struggle to accept about others, even as they hypocritically expect others to accept about them. So, although other people are entitled to have an opinion about the choices you make, you are equally as entitled not to give that opinion any consideration at all. You certainly don’t have to defend or explain yourself with regard to the following things.
1. Who you forge relationships with.
Many people will have an opinion about who you decide to date, marry, or befriend. They may have gossip to whisper in your ear to try to influence your opinion and perspective. However, they cannot be the ones to decide who you should associate with and who you shouldn’t. Their “advice” is often given not to help you, but to influence the way you behave. If you try to explain your relationships to these people, you’re giving them an opportunity to look for weaknesses in your explanation to exploit.
2. The lifestyle you wish to lead.
Only you can decide what lifestyle choices will make you happy. You don’t owe anyone an explanation of what you prioritize, where you decide to live, or how you spend your time. These choices are yours to make, and it’s important that you make them because trying to live a life that’s right for someone else will make you unhappy. You have to honor and respect your unique journey, for better or worse, no matter what anyone else thinks about it.
3. The career path you walk down.
You will spend approximately a third of your life, or more, working. It’s too much time to spend it miserable or living someone else’s opinion. Whatever your career path, whether you choose to start a business, work a 9 to 5, or follow your creative passion, it’s your decision to make. Other opinions aren’t relevant if they aren’t kind and supportive of your decisions about your journey.
4. The food and drink you consume.
It doesn’t matter how you feed your body because it is your choice. Be vegan, vegetarian, keto, or eat fast food to your heart’s content. It’s your body and you have every right to make decisions that are right for your body. Plenty of people may question that, but they don’t have to live with your choices, you do.
5. Your religious or spiritual beliefs.
Faith and philosophy are deeply personal. Even within the same faith and philosophies, different people have dramatically differing points of view that can cause division. As a result, not everyone wants to talk about it. Not everyone wants to justify or explain their beliefs. They just hold their beliefs without letting other people interject and that is good enough for them.
6. Whether or not you choose to have children, or how many.
The choice to have a family is so important because of the time and money involved in it. Many people don’t like to think about the money aspect, but birthing and raising a child is expensive, even in the best-case scenario. Furthermore, the amount of time and emotional energy required is something that a lot of people either don’t want to give or they’re not able to give. Still, it is entirely up to you and your partner if you want to have children and face the highs and lows that come with it. No one else should have a say.
7. How you look after your physical and mental health.
How you manage your health is your business. That includes whether or not to seek medical treatment, therapy, or medication that you feel may help you live a higher quality of life. It’s no one’s business how you decide to pursue the healthiest, best self that you’re capable of pursuing. Medical treatment needs to be a personal choice because it’s you who has to live with the consequences, for better or worse.
8. The way you spend your money.
Money is a contentious subject for most. Whatever you decide to do with your money is your choice, whether it’s saving, spending, investing, or budgeting how you want to use your money. Furthermore, if you do decide to answer questions about your money, you may find people start coming around looking for a handout or just a small loan that they’re totally good for!
9. Your style or appearance.
Your appearance is a unique expression of who you are. You don’t have to explain or justify the way you choose to dress, style your hair, or present yourself to the world. These are personal choices that can very much affect your happiness and life. People are judgmental. They are always going to have something to say whether you socially comply or not. You might as well make yourself happy.
10. How far you take your formal education, or what subjects you major in.
Everyone has a different path to success. Some find it in the trades, others through college, and some people don’t pursue higher education, opting to learn a career through work. Still, other people are often judgmental about that choice. Some believe that if you don’t go to college or pursue another kind of higher learning that you are not as smart or qualified as you could be, and that’s an ignorant belief. Many people also look down on qualifications in subjects that they don’t see as practical or worthy, such as the arts.
11. Your boundaries.
Boundaries are essential to your well-being. The limits you set for yourself don’t require justification to anyone. You simply state them, and then the other person can choose whether or not to walk away. However, in some cases, you do need to have a bit of discussion about them, particularly if it’s with a friend you’re trying to maintain a relationship with. Discussion is how you keep a relationship healthy.
12. The hobbies and interests you engage in.
What brings you joy requires no explanation. The fact of the matter is that many miserable people will take any opportunity they can find to also make you miserable. They don’t want to be happy or see other people happy, so they try to drag you down to their level. Whatever your hobbies or interests may be, no one has the right to question them, and you don’t need to explain what brings you joy to anyone.
