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12 Things Most People Don’t Fully Understand Until They Get Older

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Age often brings with it the following wisdom.

Smiling woman with curly hair wearing a purple top, looking out a window in a bright room.

We humans are forever learning, whether we think so or not. That’s kind of the basis for wisdom, and why wise people are often portrayed as those with lots of life experience (a.k.a. older people). And it’s true that there are many lessons that only fully sink in once we’ve been navigating this planet for a substantial amount of time. Lessons such as the following:

1. Time is priceless.

A middle-aged man with gray hair and a beard smiles while looking up. He is wearing a gray T-shirt and standing outdoors, with a blurred background of greenery and structures on a sunny day.

As you grow older, you come to realize that time is an invaluable resource because you can’t get more of it. There seems to be so much time to do the things that you want to do when you’re young with a life ahead of you. As time goes on and you add responsibilities to your life, the days stay long but the years grow short. That’s why many older people tend to prioritize meaningful experiences and relationships over the superficial.

2. Health is wealth.

A diverse group of four adults, dressed in athletic wear, practice yoga outdoors. They are standing with eyes closed and arms extended, appearing serene. The background features lush greenery, a body of water, and mountain scenery under a clear sky.

Neglecting your physical and mental health in your youth can lead to much more complicated problems later. Older adults tend to recognize the importance of preventative action and self-care so as to avoid more significant future problems. The phrase that the health and wellness industry uses to talk about that is “quality of life.” As those medical issues set in, your quality of life, your ability to conduct your life dramatically decreases by those preventable health issues piling up.

3. Happiness comes from within.

A middle-aged man with short gray hair and a beard smiles while looking into the distance. He is wearing a light scarf and a brown jacket. The background features a blurred outdoor setting with green foliage and a light blue sky.

Achievements, possessions, relationships all come and go, as much as we’d like to preserve them. Older people tend to realize that they cannot rely on these transient things for happiness. Happiness is something that you need to cultivate as much as you can so you can continue to be happy even when life isn’t going well. And, unfortunately, sooner or later life isn’t going to go well. No one is immune to tragedy and suffering. It’s just a natural part of life that older people have all too much experience with.

4. Good relationships require work.

Three women are sitting outdoors, smiling and enjoying each other's company. They are in a relaxed, natural setting with tree foliage in the background, creating a bright and cheerful atmosphere. Each woman displays a warm, joyful expression.

All good relationships require effort, healthy communication, and compromise to make them work. Nothing is ever perfect. Even the best of friends will occasionally brush up against one another’s boundaries because people are individuals. They see the world differently, they don’t always interpret things in a similar way, and their choices will occasionally conflict with these qualities of yours. Older people understand that making a long-term relationship work requires you to navigate those issues.

5. Financial stability is important.

A woman wearing a yellow headband with polka dots, large black glasses, and a mustard-colored sweater is kissing a pink piggy bank. She is also wearing pearl earrings and a matching necklace. The background is a solid teal color.

Building your savings and investing in the future can provide peace of mind as you age. Poor financial habits and impulse spending can have lasting consequences and bury you in a hole that can take years to get out of. Worse yet, that is money that could have been put into and toward a retirement account to help develop future security. As you get older, it can be harder to find work and make ends meet. You may also find that you can’t work due to injury or medical issues. Financial stability matters.

6. Failure is a step toward success.

A mature person with long grey hair and glasses looks confidently at the camera. They are leaning forward with their arms resting on a surface and wearing a brown blazer and a watch. The background is outdoors with blurred greenery.

Mistakes and setbacks are just a natural part of life. Sure, it hurts to fail. It hurts when things don’t go as planned and you experience a setback. That hurt is much less when you can look at that setback or failure optimistically. Every failure is another step toward success as you learn what doesn’t work. Furthermore, you may also discover other things that you want to pursue instead. For example, it’s not unusual for someone to discover a passion while pursuing success in a different venture.

7. Self-acceptance is love.

A middle-aged man with short, gray hair and a neatly trimmed beard is looking directly at the camera. He is wearing a light blue button-up shirt and appears to be indoors, possibly in an office or home setting, with soft natural light illuminating his face.

As you get older, you will learn that societal expectations aren’t all they’re cracked up to be. Sure, some are important as they make society function. But peer pressure often wants to see you give up your individuality so you don’t make waves and you can earn their favor and acceptance. That doesn’t feel good to many people. It doesn’t feel good to be forced to conform to a box that isn’t right for you. Older people often discard that as they realize it’s more important to love and accept themselves.

8. You can’t please everyone.

A mature man with gray hair and beard, wearing glasses and a dark shirt, is seated indoors. He has his hands behind his head, looking relaxed and pensive. The background shows blurred kitchen shelves and a window.

Seeking external validation from others is exhausting and unproductive. It prevents you from living an authentic life and embracing your unique individuality. Yes, getting along with people is important to some degree. However, in many cases, you have to choose what’s right and best for you regardless of how other people feel about it. Furthermore, you have to understand that it’s not your responsibility to take care of everyone else’s feelings. That’s their job.

9. The importance of saying “no”.

An older man with short gray hair is standing against a plain background. He is wearing a brown sweater over a checkered shirt. He has an outstretched hand towards the camera, palm open, and a serious expression on his face.

Boundaries are essential for good mental health and well-being. The word “no” is the strongest of boundary enforcement because it protects your time, space, and emotional health. It’s empowering to enforce your boundaries, and it’s draining when you don’t. Declining obligations that aren’t important to you or serve you gives you space and opportunity for those that are, even if that obligation is self-care.

10. Material things don’t create lasting happiness.

A smiling woman wearing a cap and scarf hugs a bearded man from behind as he stands in the doorway of a camper van. The man wears glasses and a sweater, and the woman holds a yellow coffee mug. Trees and bright sunlight are visible outside the camper.

Everyone’s heard the phrase, “You can’t buy happiness!” Well, it depends on what you actually mean. The people who are saying that are usually people who have things but are miserable because it does not provide the internal peace and happiness that everyone wants. Yes, you can buy happiness in the form of temporary experiences and things, but those things don’t create lasting happiness. Lasting happiness needs to be cultivated regardless of what you have.

11. Change is inevitable.

Close-up of a man with a graying beard and short hair, eyes closed, facing to the left. The background is blurry, with hints of green from foliage and a blue structure, creating a peaceful and contemplative mood.

Life is unpredictable. Things will change sooner or later, for better or worse. Adaptability is the key skill for navigating those changes when they come. It’s not so much that you need to think about and prepare for every eventuality, it’s more that you need to be confident in your ability to handle the change when it arrives at your doorstep. You can’t avoid it, and it will only make you unhappy and stressed if you can’t accept it.

12. Kindness leaves a legacy.

senior man wearing flat cap with jubilant expression looks at taller younger man as they grip each others arms in a warm greeting

The small acts of kindness and compassion you practice leave a profound and lasting impact on others. It may be hard to see in the moment; in fact, it may be impossible to see in the moment. Kindness is often needed most by angry or hurting people. Sometimes all you can do is plant the seed, knowing it will bloom later. People remember these small acts of kindness. If legacy matters to you, then kindness is one excellent way to cultivate it.

About The Author

Jack Nollan is a mental health writer of 10 years who pairs lived experience with evidence-based information to provide perspectives from the side of the mental health consumer. Jack has lived with Bipolar Disorder and Bipolar-depression for almost 30 years. With hands-on experience as the facilitator of a mental health support group, Jack has a firm grasp of the wide range of struggles people face when their mind is not in the healthiest of places. Jack is an activist who is passionate about helping disadvantaged people find a better path.