Do you live with anxiety?
If you’re one of the many who live with anxiety, then you’re likely well aware of how quickly it can snowball into taking over a person’s life.
Anxiety can make it incredibly difficult to manage and complete daily tasks, including working. Symptoms can range from intense feelings of dread to a racing heartbeat, nausea, and shaking among others.
Sometimes, people start therapy at the height of their anxiety, thinking it will cure them and that the therapist can stop the anxiety symptoms. Unfortunately, that’s not how it works. There isn’t a magical cure for anxiety. Instead, the solution is to change your relationship with your anxiety, restructure negative thought patterns, and allow yourself compassion to exist and feel without justification.
Much of living a full and happy life with anxiety comprises developing a toolbox you can reach for when you recognize your anxiety setting in. But, it takes time to learn and strengthen the skills to be able to do that. So, while creating a sustaining toolbox for the long term is most important, you can also have one for the immediate moment. Here are some tips to do just that.
1. Change the conversation.
Dr. David D. Burns, a psychiatrist and author known for his work in cognitive behavioral therapy says, “You feel the way you think.” So when you feel your anxiety set in, counteract it with a positive conversation with yourself.
This can be helpful, especially when your anxiety is set around doubt. When you doubt yourself, work to change the narrative. “I’m not good enough” becomes “I can do this.” “Everyone is staring at me; I don’t belong here” becomes “I have something valuable to offer, and I belong here.”
Anxiety is essentially trying to protect you from whatever triggered the response. When it sets in, firmly acknowledge it and tell it I’m not in danger and I can handle this.
After you use this technique a couple of times, you might notice that your anxiety decreases and your symptoms become less intense. This results from retraining the inner narrative and re-learning what the response should be instead. Make sure you’re patient with yourself, though. Remember, it’s a journey, not a destination.
2. Use a mantra.
Living with anxiety comes with many challenges. These challenges can range from finding and keeping employment, finding and keeping safe and affordable housing, and maintaining healthy relationships. These three factors and several others are considerable variables in taking care of your mental health and stabilizing your anxiety.
When you’re in the moment, you feel your heart thumping, your thoughts racing, sweat starts to pile up in your hairline, and you’re worried that everyone can see it. Anxiety floods through your entire body, your head aches, you have this weird back pain that you can’t explain, and you don’t remember the last time you had an entire night’s sleep.
In his book, “The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook” Dr. Edmund Bourne, a psychologist and specialist in anxiety disorders, describes that if anxiety is left unchecked it can drain the mind of all other thoughts. That’s why it’s important to find a mantra to use in these moments of high anxiety—something that brings you peace and comfort—and then repeat it to yourself. Personally, I tell myself, “I only have to survive it.” It reminds me that I can let go of the need to be perfect and allow myself the compassion and grace to feel my feelings and simply exist through them. Here are some examples:
– I choose to be calm.
– I am not in danger.
– My anxiety isn’t telling the truth.
3. Let it out creatively.
Anxiety-ridden moments are complex. They’re difficult to explain and often bring painful and emotionally challenging symptoms. Anxiety often sweeps you right off your feet, leaving you to put the pieces back together afterward. When you’re in a moment like this, reach for a pen and paper, markers, or paint.
Reach for something creative and let your anxiety exist outside of your mind. If you’re a writer, try exploring your anxieties through some creative writing exercises. If you’re feeling particularly agitated, consider some paint and allow the gentleness of colors mixing to distract your mind and bring you back into the present moment. If you’re crafty, hit your crafting room and start cutting and gluing.
Simply put, the idea is to let it out. Give your anxieties a space to exist other than in your mind. Then, using art and other creative mediums, you can ease your anxiety, decrease the frequency of your symptoms, and experience more relaxation.
TIP: Don’t skip over this tip if you’re not a creative person. Research has suggested that creative pursuits can reduce stress hormones regardless of artistic experience. It can be exceptionally therapeutic and relaxing to explore your mental being through art, regardless of your skill level. And, you never know, you could find your new passion or hobby!
4. Invest in sticky notes.
Hear me out! Use sticky notes to write out affirmations and stick them in places you’re prone to look. This way, you’ll be reminded of your strength, character, and intense awesomeness all throughout your day. Consider placing them on your bathroom mirror, bookshelf, laptop, kitchen cupboards, etc.
Flood your environment with positive, uplifting, motivational vibes, and see how quickly you can change the tune in your head. When you disrupt the pattern, you allow yourself to learn new behaviors; this is where the magic happens! First, create a positive and affirming environment in which you feel good. Then, turn to your affirmations in anxious moments and keep them displayed where they are easily accessible.
5. Control your breathing.
The most significant factor when intense anxiety hits is to keep control of the breath. This is crucial to coping with panic attacks, anxiety attacks, and anxiety disorders. Upon recognizing that your anxiety is setting in, turn to breathing exercises to help. Over time, these breathing exercises will help you become calmer and at peace.
Take a deep breath in, and exhale. You can put your hands gently on your belly to bring awareness to the movement in your body and say to yourself, “Yes, I am feeling anxious, but I can breathe through this moment.” During your breathing, remind yourself that your anxiety isn’t an enemy but rather something trying to keep you safe. Remind yourself that you are in control.
Breathing exercises to try:
– Figure 8 breathing – While breathing slowly in and out, use your index finger to trace a figure eight on the palm of the opposite hand. Doing the two things at once will divert the anxiety and bring your focus more onto the tracing and the deep inhale and exhale.
– Exhale longer – While deep breathing, allow your body to exhale slightly longer than the inhale. This naturally slows the heart rate and therefore eases anxiety symptoms.
6. Label the trigger.
When you label the trigger, it’s as if you’re giving a name to the bad guy. This allows you to clearly be aware of what is causing the emotional reaction in your body. It also brings awareness to the now, the present moment, rather than the avalanche of thoughts stuck in your mind.
Remember that triggers are your body’s way of trying to keep you safe. Simply acknowledge it, reframe the language, and allow the feelings to exist. For example:
– “I’m not in danger. That sound was fireworks.”
– “I am needed. My family loves me. Toxic people don’t belong in my life.”
7. Don’t keep it to yourself.
Rather than living with your anxiety in silence, fighting the symptoms on your own, and traveling down your mental health journey alone, communicate it to your loved ones and support people.
It helps to bring awareness to anxiety itself and how many people are struggling with it, and your loved ones can assist and support you by reminding you of your strength, mental power, and ability to cope.
What this might look like in the moment of anxiety is vocalizing what is going on in your mind. For example, “My anxiety was triggered by the sound of the gun in the movie. Can you help me do a few breathing exercises?” Communicate what you need to your support people.
8. Practice gratitude.
You might be tired of this tip because it does seem like a bit of a trendy one, but seriously, take a moment for gratitude. In your most anxiety-bent moments, take a moment to be grateful for something.
One of the best parts about practicing gratitude is not only the immediate effects but also its long-term effects. Practicing gratitude can help you accept your anxiety by making yourself focus on the good. It’s also helpful to put life’s challenges into perspective.
