12 Things You Should Never Say To Your Partner, No Matter How Tempted You Are

Never allow these phrases to pass your lips.

A man and a woman are sitting on a ledge beside a pool, engaged in a conversation. The man wears a light gray shirt and pants, while the woman is in a white and striped dress. Greenery and a blurred background are visible behind them.

A word spoken cannot be caught by the swiftest horses, and rarely returns to the stable. Or, in simpler terms: you can’t take back anything you say in anger or frustration. If you’re ever tempted to say the following things to your partner, just don’t—otherwise you might damage things irreparably.

1. “You sound just like your mother/father.”

A man and woman are sitting on a gray couch in a modern living room, having an animated conversation. Both have raised hands and expressive gestures, indicating a heated discussion. The woman holds a tissue, and both appear emotionally engaged.

If your partner has a parent who made their life a living hell, telling them that they’re behaving like them is going to put you in the doghouse. Most people say these things to silence a partner from saying something they don’t want to hear, and it inevitably damages the partnership.

2. “You’re no fun anymore.”

A man and woman sit cross-legged on a bed in a serious conversation. The man gestures with his hand while the woman listens attentively. Both wear casual clothing, and a plant is visible in the background.

Take a carefree, fun-loving person, and then saddle them with an enormous amount of responsibility—be that work, childcare, chores, or other adult responsibilities. Then add in a solid dash of sleep deprivation and stress. They’re now a shadow of their former self, but expected to be as much “fun” as they were a decade ago? Not cool.

3. “Nobody else would want you.”

A couple sits on a bed in an argument. The man on the left, wearing a white t-shirt, gestures emphatically with one hand. The woman on the right, wearing a green t-shirt, appears distressed, resting her head in one hand while looking upwards.

Some people say this in desperation if their partner expresses unhappiness about the relationship. Rather than working with them to improve things, they aim to scare them with the idea that they’d be single forever if they left. If you’d like to destroy both their self-esteem and their respect for you, this is the phrase to use.

4. “You’ve really let yourself go.”

A man and a woman are sitting on a couch having a serious conversation. The man, with short hair, is gesturing with his hands while speaking. The woman, with blonde hair, looks downcast and has her hand supporting her chin, appearing upset. Bookshelves are in the background.

People change over time as life circumstances, gravity, and the aging process take their toll. Most are fiercely self-conscious about these changes, and implying that they’ve contributed to their own degradation will make them feel even worse about themselves. Few will look the same at 50 as they did at 20, despite society’s expectations.

5. “Sometimes it’s really difficult to love you.”

A man and woman sitting in a cozy cafe, engaged in conversation. The man holds a mug, and there's a dessert on the table. The woman gestures with her hand. They seem to be having a serious discussion. Smartphones and a vase with flowers are on the table.

It’s okay to get frustrated with your partner at times, or even want space from them when things are tense, but it’s not okay to imply that they’re unlovable when they’re at their lowest. Even if you feel that way for a moment, don’t say it: doing so might push an already unstable person over the edge.

6. “I didn’t sign up to be with someone who’s this miserable.”

A man and woman sit at an outdoor café table. The man, holding a red coffee cup, looks away thoughtfully. The woman, with her back to the camera, gestures with her hands as if explaining something. Greenery surrounds the patio.

Have you determined why they’re miserable? And if so, have you tried to work with them as a loving partner in order to improve things? It’s difficult to deal with someone who’s depressed or angry a lot, but there’s always a causal factor. They likely didn’t sign up to be with someone so uncompassionate either.

7. “If it weren’t for me, you’d be nothing.”

A woman with her hands on her temples appears frustrated while a man behind her raises his hand and seems angry. Both are indoors in a room with white walls and minimal furniture.

Not only is this untrue, it’s downright abusive. They might not be in the same situation as they are now if they’d ended up with someone else, but they could very well have succeeded in many different ways. This shows them how little regard you have for them as a person, while overblowing your self-importance.

8. “I drink/do drugs to tolerate you.”

A woman sits on a couch looking upset, with her knees drawn up and her head resting on her hand. A man in the foreground is pointing at her, holding a bottle, suggesting an argument or tense situation.

We all go through personal issues at times, and the truth is that this can be difficult for our partners as well. Telling someone who’s already struggling that they’re such a trial to be with that you need to self-medicate to deal with them can obliterate what little sense of self-worth they have left.

9. “My ex was better than you’ll ever be.”

A woman and a man are standing indoors, engaged in a heated discussion. They are facing each other with expressive gestures. The room is softly lit, with a framed picture and a plant in the background.

If you want to end your relationship on a sour note, use this phrase. Telling someone in no uncertain terms that not only are they a crap person, but that a former lover of yours was “better” than them, will ensure that whatever feelings they have left for you disappear.

10. “You’re the lowest rung on my totem pole.”

A man in a navy blue shirt sits on a white couch resting his chin on his hand, appearing deep in thought. In the background, a woman in a striped sweater and jeans sits with her head tilted down and hand on her forehead, looking upset.

How would you feel if the person you loved most in the world told you flat out that you were a lower priority to them than literally everyone else in your life? Would you want to remain in a relationship with them? Probably not, and neither would your partner if you said this.

11. “I love you, but I’m not in love with you.”

A woman sits on a bed, covering her face with her hands while holding a phone, appearing distressed. A man sitting next to her looks on with concern. The background shows a softly lit room with a plant and a window.

If you feel the urge to say this to your partner, then reconsider why you’re with them. It’s nice that you love them, but if you aren’t in love with them anymore (if you ever were), then it’s likely time to set them free so someone else can fall for them.

12.“I wish I had never met you.”

A woman with long brown hair, wearing a white top and pink pants, sits on a couch gesturing with her hands up, looking distressed. She is talking to a man with short hair wearing a light blue shirt and beige pants, who is facing her with his back to the camera.

These six words will end a relationship. If you feel inclined to say them, then it’s best to remain silent and simply break up instead. Doing so will cause a lot less damage than implying that your life is worse for having met the person you’ve claimed to love up until now.