Do you crave male attention?
Attention can be flattering, especially when it comes from your preferred gender. But what happens if you end up craving it as if it were a cold drink on a hot summer’s day?
The attention of men can sometimes feel good, even if you’re in a relationship.
But perhaps you crave that attention more than you should.
Why?
Well, maybe you’re not looking for a relationship, but it feels good to be noticed. After all, who doesn’t enjoy feeling wanted and attractive?
Wanting to feel good is perfectly fine, but needing male attention to achieve that feeling might be a problem.
The thing is, we all want the attention of the person we like, but it shouldn’t be our only source of self-esteem. It’s far healthier to find a way to feel good about yourself on your own.
Let’s look at the most common reasons why you might crave male attention in the first place.
1. Your self-confidence needs a boost.
You’re probably looking for more than simple attention; you may crave male validation as well.
If a man finds you pretty, funny, or intelligent, it must mean that you are all those things, otherwise he wouldn’t be interested in you, right?
So, you use the attention of men to give yourself an ego boost and feel good about yourself.
Maybe you even need to be told that you’re pretty to feel that way.
Whatever the case may be, if you’re hoping to solve this problem, you should definitely think about your self-confidence and whether you could do something to improve it, rather than relying on someone’s attention to give you a temporary high.
After all, the rush you feel when you get a man’s attention is great, but it can only last for a little while.
You can, and should, be your own constant source of attention. We’ll talk more about this later.
2. You let men define your value.
Maybe you don’t value yourself if men don’t value you.
When you are being noticed by men, you feel attractive, desirable, and, ultimately, successful.
Getting attention might seem like an achievement and proof of your worthiness.
Instead of relying on your professional, creative, and intellectual achievements, you strive to be considered desirable in the eyes of men and think of it as a form of success. Being popular with men makes you feel important and accomplished.
Focusing more of your energy on other aspects of your life could help with this.
You probably have some goals unrelated to being noticed that could make you feel accomplished. So learn to value yourself instead of relying on others to define your worth.
It’s great if you are attractive, but it should only be a small portion of who you are and just a part of what you have to offer.
Maybe you’ve been putting a lot of effort into looking great on the outside, so now you need to focus more on the inside.
After all, what’s the point of looking great if you don’t feel that way too?
3. You’ve been rejected.
Do you need more attention from men ever since a particular man (or men) rejected you?
This happens more often than you might think.
Getting rejected can hurt your ego, and everyone’s been there. There’s not a person in this world who hasn’t been rejected.
It can hurt so much that you need help healing it.
Maybe that’s exactly what happened to you, and you found a way to cope with the problem by creating another problem.
You started using the attention of all guys as a substitute for the attention you wanted but didn’t get from a specific guy (or guys).
Well, that’s one way to cope with rejection, but it’s not a healthy one.
So, if this is the reason you need so much attention, try learning to accept rejection as an inevitable part of the dating game.
Not everyone can like you, and there’s nothing wrong with that.
Yes, it can hurt to be rejected, but you just have to shrug your shoulders, accept that you’re not everyone’s cup of tea, and move on.
It sounds easier than it is, but it’s really not as hard as it might seem.
4. You think men are better.
It’s possible that you’ve got the whole “men” thing wrong. Some women put men on such a high pedestal that it’s impossible for any human being to live up to that.
Perhaps you think that men are better than women or better than they actually are.
Yes, men can be amazing, but they are certainly not gods and they’re just as human as women are.
Maybe you secretly believe that men are more like superheroes, or that their thoughts and opinions are of higher value than anything any woman might think or say.
This is not just wrong but bad for you.
Maybe you’ve met some pretty amazing guys, but they’re not on some higher level than you are just because they’re guys.
Start seeing men for what they are, and don’t build them up in your head.
Most importantly, as a woman, know that you’re just as important as any man, and your voice should be equally heard and valued.
5. You have “daddy issues.”
Women can have a lot of problems with men because of the first man they ever loved – their father.
If you didn’t have a good relationship with your father or you come from a broken home, the problems you’re experiencing in your current relationships with guys might date back to your childhood.
Naturally, you are not the one to blame if your relationship with your dad was bad or nonexistent.
However, if you have identified this problem in your life as an adult, you can’t expect anyone to solve it but you.
A therapist can help you, but you have to make the first move and seek help.
You’re certainly not the only woman with “daddy issues,” but many women don’t take them seriously enough to do something about them.
Maybe you can’t improve your relationship with your father, but that relationship doesn’t have to damage your love life now that you’re an adult.
Work through it with a help of a professional and learn to build healthier relationships in the future.
6. You seek love.
Maybe the reason you seek attention is pretty simple – you actually seek love.
If you’re hoping to find a boyfriend, it’s only natural that you’re focusing your energy on men, but keep in mind that you only need the attention of one guy.
Until that guy comes along, save your energy for other aspects of your life.
Sure, you can still flirt with men and enjoy the validation you get from them, but don’t actively seek it since it’s not what you want to begin with.
You need love and someone who’ll make a conscious choice to give you attention for as long as you’re together.
You’ll find that person, but don’t think of him as a necessity so that you can feel loved. You should love yourself and work on making yourself feel fulfilled.
In addition, you already have people in your life who care about you. When the right guy comes along to join them, he’ll be just the icing on the cake.
7. You don’t feel fulfilled.
Are you taking care of your needs or expecting a man to come and take care of everything for you?
It’s okay if you want a companion in life, but no one can live your life for you. You should be independent enough to make yourself feel fulfilled.
No man is going to fulfill your every need and make up for everything that’s not good in your life.
So, if the reason you need so much attention is that you’re hoping for a Superman to come and make everything great, take a second to think about whether that’s even realistic.
Sure, it would be nice, and a man might make you incredibly happy one day, but you shouldn’t rely on him for your happiness.
Start taking care of your own needs and living your own life, whether or not there’s a man currently in it.
If you feel like you’re only half of a person when you don’t have a partner, find ways to make yourself feel whole.
