People who grew up feeling ugly and unattractive often display these 12 behaviors later in life

12 behaviors people who feel ugly often adopt.

A person with curly red hair and glasses smiles, looking off to the side. They are wearing a dark sweater, and the background is blurred, featuring a muted, textured wall with hexagonal shelves.

Some people grew up feeling (or knowing) that they were the best-looking folks in any room they walked into. In contrast, others grew up feeling ugly, unattractive, and unwanted and were often treated cruelly by their peers. Those who fall into the latter category often display the behaviors below when they grow up:

1. People-pleasing to their own detriment.

Many who didn’t gain people’s approval or attention with their looks end up earning accolades through acts of service. They learned early that they got positive reinforcement by fawning and people-pleasing, so they make that an integral aspect of their personality as they mature — often to their own detriment.

2. Obsession with fitness or physical augmentation.

A woman lies on a medical examination table, smiling, while holding a small mirror. A person in a white coat and blue gloves gently examines her face.

There’s a saying that goes: “You aren’t ugly, you’re just poor”. In many cases, those who grew up feeling unattractive end up buying beauty as soon as they can afford some cosmetic surgery. Additionally, they’ll often be obsessed with physical fitness and put all their effort into maintaining a youthful, attractive physique.

3. Delving deeply into the cerebral.

A woman with dark hair stands in front of a blackboard covered with mathematical equations. She is wearing a patterned sleeveless top and looks directly into the camera.

Since they felt their physical shells weren’t going to bring them much success or joy in life, they may have poured all their efforts into pursuits of the mind. As such, they might become lifelong scholars, earning several degrees and great professional acknowledgment for their achievements in lieu of admiration for their beauty.

4. Eroding other people’s self-esteem over time.

Two elderly men sit on a couch in a living room. One man, in a green shirt, leans forward with his head in his hand, appearing distressed. The other man, in a maroon shirt, gestures with his hands as if offering advice or support. Shelves and a TV are in the background.

Those who felt unattractive and unwanted in their youth might tear down those close to them whom they consider to be beautiful. Older people often do this to younger relatives — such as their children — whom they feel are more attractive than they’ve ever been themselves.

5. Focus on accruing wealth.

A man with glasses, wearing a gray checkered blazer and black pants, sits comfortably in a gray armchair. He smiles while looking at his laptop on his lap and holds a glass of a red beverage. A large green plant is in the background.

If they never felt attractive — and therefore unappealing and unwanted — they may accrue wealth in an attempt to feel strong and powerful that way. For example, there are plenty of celebrities and high-ranking society members who wouldn’t be considered physically attractive, but they date gorgeous people because they’re extraordinarily wealthy.

6. Accumulation of beautiful and expensive things.

A person with brown hair neatly pulled back and parted in the middle is wearing a brown leather jacket over a blue knitted top. They are carrying a brown shoulder bag and standing in front of a brick wall background. They have a serious facial expression.

Those who aren’t as focused on dating beautiful people may put their effort into collecting beautiful, expensive things instead. They may dress in bespoke outfits and spend thousands on shoes and accessories to make themselves feel more attractive, and make their homes as beautiful and welcoming as possible.

7. Regular pampering and care to appear as “put-together” as they can be.

A woman with straight, blond hair wearing pearl earrings and a black salon cape holds a smartphone to her ear. She appears focused and thoughtful in a well-lit indoor setting.

In addition to wearing expensive clothes, they may invest a great deal of money into their personal care. For instance, they might visit a salon or barber on a near-daily basis to have their hair cut and styled. They’ll also get regular manicures and skin treatments, aiming to do the best they possibly can with what they have.

8. Promiscuity.

A person is whispering into the ear of a smiling woman with long hair. The woman, covering her mouth with her hand, looks amused. The background is softly lit with various lights and blurred details, suggesting an evening or indoor setting.

People who didn’t feel particularly attractive in their teens or twenties might be “late bloomers” who gain much more self-confidence later in life. As a result, they often make up for the time they lost when they were younger by being quite promiscuous or cultivating polyamorous relationships.

9. Tearing others down in the same way they were.

A woman with a sad expression sits alone in the foreground of a café, looking down. In the background, three people sit together at a table, with two of them looking in her direction. The scene suggests a sense of isolation and contemplation.

Whatever it was that they got insulted about when they were younger, they’ll now insult other people about it. For example, those who were overweight in their youth will mock others for having larger bodies, and those who didn’t date much (if at all) will make fun of virgins or “incels”.

10. Self-seclusion.

An elderly man sitting on a red bench outdoors, petting a small brown and white dog beside him. A tabby cat sits on his lap. The man has gray hair and is wearing a plaid shirt and dark pants. The background is a light-colored wall.

Those who were particularly mistreated when they were younger often withdraw into seclusion. They may surround themselves with animal companions who love unconditionally and without judgement, and avoid interacting with human beings unless they absolutely have to. To them, being alone means that they won’t get hurt or humiliated anymore.

11. Taking up crafts, art, and other hand skills.

A person smiling and holding a to-go coffee cup with both hands. They are wearing a green jacket over a black shirt. The background is a workshop with tools and wooden materials.

If they aren’t academically inclined, they may turn their attention towards handcrafts and useful skills instead. Some might become master carpenters or weavers, painters or embroiderers, or follow any other number of paths in which their creative abilities can be put to great use.

12. Playing the youthful woman or dashing lad role long past their time.

A man with short hair stretches his arm out to the side while holding his shoulder with the other hand. He is wearing a black shirt and standing by the sea during sunset, with the sun creating a warm glow in the background.

If a person who grew up feeling ugly “comes into themselves” when they’re older, they often cling to the age and demeanor in which they felt most attractive. This often leads to them acting like they’re still in their prime, even though several decades have passed since then.