How To Handle People Who Think They Are Better Than You: 10 Tips That Actually Work

Do these things when someone looks down on you or tries to make you feel small.

A person with blonde hair sits at a table in a cafe, holding a white cup and saucer. They are wearing a black and white polka dot shirt with a black vest. A large window shows an urban cityscape outside.

Arrogance. Superiority complex. Pretentiousness. Call it what you will, some people simply think they are better than others. And they are quick to point out that belief. When faced with this kind of attitude, here are some things you can do to handle it and manage relationships with those who think this way.

1. Set boundaries.

Person wearing brown leather shoes standing on a concrete surface just behind a red line, suggesting a boundary or finish line.

Boundaries protect your mental and emotional health. However, the way you enforce those boundaries matters. The best way is to be polite, yet firm. If instead you get angry, you are giving the other person ammunition to harm you with. They can then use that to turn other people against you by pointing out how unreasonable you’re being. Politeness deprives them of that angle.

2. Stay confident in yourself.

Two women are engaged in conversation at a desk in a modern office setting. The woman sitting is listening intently, while the woman standing gestures as she speaks. The background features a black paneled wall.

People who think they are better than everyone else need to put others down to raise themselves up. That can be quite hurtful because it can make you feel like you’re less than. Keep yourself grounded. Don’t let the actions of others dictate how you feel about yourself. Focus on your unique strengths and abilities to keep yourself built up. If they make you feel bad enough, you may pull in on yourself which makes it easier for them to step on you.

3. Don’t take it personally.

Two women in coats are sitting on steps in conversation. One has a red knit hat and gestures with her hand, while the other holds a coffee cup and listens attentively. Wooden doors are visible in the background.

A superiority complex is a reflection of their insecurities, not your value. Secure people don’t put others down, they lift other people up because they know they are valuable people. The way other people treat you is often a mirror reflection of themselves. How do you not take it personally, though? It’s easier said than done, but focus on the fact that they wouldn’t behave the way they are if they were happy and secure with themselves.

4. Respond with empathy.

Two people sitting at a café table under an umbrella, engaged in conversation. One is gesturing with their hand, and both are wearing glasses. A laptop and drinks are on the table, with reflections of trees visible in the background.

Empathy is to put yourself in another’s shoes to better understand what they’re feeling and where they are coming from. It does not mean you have to be a doormat or forgive bad behavior. Instead, consider why they may be doing what they’re doing. What kind of life leads to a person behaving this way? That kind of insecurity doesn’t come from a good place. It often comes from a whole lot of trauma. Does it make their behavior okay? No. But it can help you stay grounded while dealing with it.

5. Lean into their behavior.

Two women are talking in an office setting. One wears a yellow sweater and gestures, while the other, in a green turtleneck and glasses, holds orange folders. Two more people are seen through a glass partition in the background.

It’s important not to try to one-up them. If you do, you’re escalating the situation which will cause them to escalate. They’ll double-down and you’ll have an even bigger headache to deal with. Instead of shoving back, try leaning into it instead. A good way to lean in is by asking their opinion on something or utilizing some of their good ideas where you can, then praising them for it. In many cases, it can’t be about winning because you can’t win.

6. Be direct when necessary.

A woman and a man in conversation outdoors. The woman wears a pink coat and scarf, gesturing with her hands. The man, in a dark suit, faces her. A modern building is in the background.

Stay direct, fact-oriented, and to the point. The more direct you are, the less material they have to use against you. Furthermore, facts are powerful because it’s much harder to dispute them, particularly if you won’t argue semantics with them. In many cases, they will try to argue around the facts or your point to prove you wrong and elevate themselves in the situation. Bring them back to the point, and make sure they stay on topic.

7. Don’t compete.

Two women are conversing in a bright office. One is holding a smartphone and wearing an orange sweater, while the other has a mug and a green sweater. They appear engaged in a friendly discussion, with computers in the background.

Avoid directly competing with the person if at all possible. They will escalate the situation and are likely to go much further than you will because their behavior isn’t coming from a rational place. Instead, focus on what you have to do and advocate for yourself when the need arises. People who think they are better than you may try to take credit for your work or efforts. Don’t let them.

8. Use humor.

Two people sit at a café table with coffee cups and tablets. One person, in a light blue shirt, listens intently, while the other, in a red blouse, gestures expressively. Green plants hang from the ceiling, adding a touch of nature to the modern setting.

A lighthearted comment can diffuse tension and disarm arrogance by preventing a situation from escalating. It’s a common technique that works so well because it pulls a train of thought from anger and combativeness to interpreting the humor. They may not laugh or engage, but the important thing is that the humor disrupts the escalation going on in their head.

9. Lean on supportive people.

Two women sitting closely, engaging in a thoughtful conversation. One with long blonde hair rests her chin on her hand, while the other, wearing glasses, listens attentively. Background suggests a cozy indoor setting.

You may find yourself in a situation where you are being worn down, the most common of which would be a job. It may be that you need to spend a disproportionate amount of time around someone who is trying to make you feel smaller to elevate themselves. Supportive people in your life can keep you grounded and uplifted when you feel yourself being dragged down by your mental health, life, or negative people who want to put you down.

10. Walk away.

A person wearing a hooded jacket with a red and black pattern walks alone on a foggy, deserted road lined with tall trees. The ground is wet, suggesting recent rain, and the fog obscures the distance ahead. The person has their hands in their pockets.

Sometimes, the only solution is to walk away from the situation. Of course, there are situations where you can’t just do that. There may be a familial connection that you can’t break or a job that you can’t just leave. In that case, if the person’s attitude continues to harm your well-being, you may have to limit your actions or distance yourself from that person. The “gray rock” method is to make yourself unnoticeable and as disengaged as a gray rock by not engaging. It works.