Positivity can sometimes sprout from hardship.
A lot of people are often surprised to discover that some of the most positive individuals they know are actually those who have been through hell and back. Interestingly, many of the people who manage to retain their positivity despite immeasurable hardships share the behaviors listed here.
1. A robust and enduring sense of humor.
A sense of humor has kept more people alive in harrowing circumstances than most will ever realize. This is because laughing—even in absurdly awful situations—can alleviate stress, lessen pain, and trigger “happy hormone” dopamine release. Those who have learned to laugh at their misfortunes tend to transcend them quite easily.
2. Active gratitude.
Those who manage to stay positive despite a rough life often display immense gratitude. This isn’t necessarily from a basis of comparison, but for the simple things that bring them sincere joy, such as a bit of sunshine falling on their face, a hot cup of something delicious in their hands, dry socks, and so on.
3. Accepting what is, instead of wishing for something else.
When one accepts the things that are unfolding, they can create action plans to cope with them, and deal with them accordingly. This creates positive forward momentum and resolution. In contrast, those who fixate on wishing things were different never take the steps needed to extricate themselves from their difficulties.
4. They have purposes that do not heavily rely on externals.
Putting time toward a pleasurable, rewarding pursuit helps to maintain (or inspire) immense positivity. For example, they may take great pleasure in study—if they have access to a library and if their mind is in good working order—as well as exercise, or cheap, simple crafts and creative endeavors like wood carving or drawing.
5. They don’t waste time worrying about the future, nor fixating on the past.
They remain as present as possible rather than ruminating on all the reasons why they were so hard done by or worrying needlessly about what might occur in the future. Instead, they acknowledge how much growth they’ve attained through past difficulties, and recognize that they can handle anything life may throw at them tomorrow.
6. They always find the “silver lining”.
They’ll find something joyful or pleasant to focus on, even in the direst circumstances. When Viktor Frankl was suffering in a WWII concentration camp, he reveled in the beautiful sensations of crisp, sweet snowflakes on his tongue, or a trill of birdsong in the distance. There’s nearly always something positive to be found and focused upon.
7. Generosity toward others.
Those who have experienced great hardship—especially periods in which they had next to nothing—take great joy in generosity toward others in need. Someone who has spent time without decent boots, wracked with painful blisters, is likely to buy someone in a similar predicament a decent pair of boots when they can.
8. They greet challenges with a smile because nothing compares to what they’ve endured in the past.
A person who has suffered with pain from a crippling injury won’t be fazed much by a paper cut. Similarly, someone who has been through truly horrible ordeals in the past will see issues that might flatten others as minor inconveniences. They’ll simply deal with them with humor and grace.
9. They accept and transfigure their darker traits.
A person who refuses to acknowledge their darker aspects will sink further into them. In contrast, a person who meets their lower tendencies head-on and transcends them won’t be ruled by them. They choose to integrate them and, to paraphrase Hozier: “Don’t you ever tame your demons, but just keep them on a leash.”
10. They don’t allow hardships to define them.
“I’ve been through terrible things, but I am not there anymore.” While many people fixate upon past traumas and make victimhood the cornerstone of their personalities, those who remain positive despite their hardships leave the past in the past: they put the smoldering coal down ages ago and have walked far away from its burning influence.
11. They work with neutral facts, rather than being anxious about assumed factors.
Positive people work with the information they have and remain neutral until they have the full picture, rather than panicking about half-formed imaginings. For instance, if they see a ship in the distance, they don’t get scared of potential attack: they wait to see if it’s friend or foe, first, and then take appropriate action.
12. Self-awareness, and continually uprooting the flaws they discover.
Beware the self-exalted individual who claims that they have no flaws left to purge. If a person is no longer tending their own inner garden, assuming that only roses are growing within them, the weeds of darkness will be allowed to flower and choke out all light and positivity.
