Are you a lone wolf?
We’re constantly inundated with the fact that humans are social animals who need other people’s company in order to thrive. That may be true for many people, but if the following signs feel familiar to you, then you may be a lone wolf whose “social brain” functions differently from most others.
1. You don’t get lonely.
Unless you’ve spent a few years on a desert island, chances are you haven’t experienced much loneliness. In fact, you’re likely fiercely protective of your alone time, and enjoy solitude so you can rejuvenate and spend time working on your own interests without being interrupted. While some people can’t handle isolation, at least one study suggests that it is not perfectly correlated with loneliness. In other words, some people—like you—don’t feel lonely, even if their social interactions are limited.
2. You don’t have a “clique”, but instead have many different social groups that you weave in and out of.
Whereas some people have solid friend groups that they’ve maintained for years and get together with on a regular basis, you dip your toe into various groups and remain around the periphery of all of them. As such, you’re recognized by many different cliques, but don’t spend all your time with any of them in particular.
3. You prefer to work alone than with others.
The prospect of a group project sends a chill up your spine, and you may very well have chosen a career in which you either work alone, or have as much autonomy as possible. Instead of feeling energized by your peers, having to interact—and compromise—with them drains and frustrates you. It turns out, around a fifth of people feel the same way.
4. You dislike crowds.
Some people absolutely love festivals and concerts because of the intoxicating, contagious energy they’ll receive from being surrounded by thousands of other happy, bouncy people. In contrast, you’d rather spend time with a few close friends, and get uncomfortable (or even anxious) when you’re in a large crowd.
5. You enjoy discussing important topics and loathe small talk.
The idea of small talk makes you cringe to the marrow. You really don’t care about trivial issues like celebrity gossip, fashion, or the weather, and would rather discuss topics that are important to you. If you can’t, then you’d rather remain silent until a more interesting subject arises.
6. You’re not easily influenced by “groupthink” and instead have a mind of your own.
You aren’t inclined to go along with what everyone else is doing, thinking, or believing, simply because it’s easier to follow the crowd. Instead, you follow your intuition and make up your own mind about pretty much everything, and don’t particularly care whether you’re condemned for doing so.
7. You try to handle things on your own before ever asking for help.
While some people might instantly turn to their friend group or their family when they need to sort something out, you’d rather attempt to tackle it on your own first. It’s only after you’ve made several attempts and experienced repeated failures that you may consider asking (and accepting) help with it.
8. You have little need or use for external validation.
Some folks need a lot of reassurance and acknowledgment that they’re doing a good job, or are worthy in others’ eyes. Meanwhile, you couldn’t care less whether others approve of you or not. You live life on your own terms and aren’t affected by others’ opinions… and you’ve made sure that they know that.
9. Peer pressure and manipulation don’t work on you.
If other people try to guilt or manipulate you into doing something, it won’t work. You don’t care enough about others’ approval to go against your own morals or ethics, and the more others try to push you to do something, the more contemptuous and defiant you’ll become.
10. You’re fiercely boundaried with your alone time.
You need a lot of alone time to recharge and regroup, especially after interacting with others. As such, you’ve ensured that others know not to bother you when you’ve made it clear that you need to be left alone. Disrespecting this boundary may be grounds for removal from your social group.
11. You often feel like an alien in a human skin.
Being human is often strange and confusing to you. People are generally expected to behave and speak in a specific way, but your social brain is ever vigilant, analyzing a thousand things at once, and sometimes wholly uncomfortable with situations that others feel are normal, or even pleasant.
12. You have little trouble picking up, moving on, and starting anew.
Although you might thoroughly enjoy your current living situation, you aren’t terribly bothered if you need to pack up and move somewhere completely different. You have no problem settling into a new place, and don’t have many emotional ties that might make you homesick for the area that you left.
