Beware these methods toxic people use to discredit you.
Having to deal with a toxic person behind closed doors is bad enough, but dealing with them in public can be excruciating. This is because many of them try to discredit others in front of third parties (especially to make themselves look better in contrast) by using the methods listed below:
1. Mention something embarrassing about the person’s life/past.
Many toxic people will bring up things someone did in the past to try to diminish their self-esteem. For example, a narcissistic parent whose offspring is getting too much attention at an event might mention how funny it was when their child menstruated through their clothes, or how fat and clumsy they had been in their teens.
2. Accuse them of something terrible, which they haven’t actually done.
Witch hunts are very successful because once a person has been accused of something awful, it’s very difficult to clear their name without solid evidence. Even after being cleared, the accusation may follow them forever, and most people will wonder whether they were truly innocent or not.
3. Mention something personal about someone’s past struggles.
When a toxic person wants to discredit someone in public, they’ll often draw upon a past difficulty that person struggled with in order to undermine who they are in the present. As such, they might mention a drug overdose/suicide attempt, substance addiction, or similar, implying that they’re unstable and aren’t worth paying attention to.
4. Scream, rather than speak.
Unfortunately, some folks believe that shouting and screaming over others is a way of establishing dominance in a situation. As such, if they’re keen on discrediting what someone else is saying, they may simply try to do that by cranking up their own volume and literally drowning out others’ valid points.
5. Gather other people to help put that person down or mock them.
Many toxic people will try to rally others to their cause, such as calling out to the crowd to help them mock someone they see as inferior. If and when this starts to backfire, such as when the ones they’re rallying have sympathy for their victim instead, they’ll turn on the crowd and call them pathetic cowards.
6. Imply that they’re stupid.
This one works particularly well if it’s a family member trying to discredit a sibling or younger relative. For instance, if someone makes a salient comment about a political issue, the toxic person might say something like “Oh honey, you couldn’t even pass your 9th grade history exam—do you really think you understand politics?”
7. Demand their credentials (and then put them down as inferior).
Quite often, when someone feels that a person is making a valid point that they disagree with, they’ll invalidate them by demanding to know that person’s formal education level. If they don’t have a Master’s degree (or higher) in that subject, then it’ll be implied that they don’t have either the knowledge or permission to discuss it.
8. Weaponize peer pressure.
Some people just don’t mature past middle school, and will utilize peer pressure and condemnation to discredit others in public. For example, they might mock someone who isn’t drinking for their sobriety, implying that because everyone else is drinking and they aren’t, they’re an outsider in the social group, and so on.
9. Pull rank/age.
Another way of discrediting and invalidating someone in public is to try to pull rank on them. For example, someone might imply that another doesn’t know what they’re talking about because they’re too young, too old, not in a leadership role in their career, haven’t been married long enough, and so on.
10. When they start to lose, play the victim card and justify their behavior through their -ism.
If they feel that they’re losing ground in an argument, or if they feel that other people are turning against them because of their poor behavior, they’ll show whatever victim card they have on hand. This way, they can abdicate personal responsibility and imply that others are “attacking” them because of a marginalization.
11. Weaponize the other person’s frailties or differences.
A toxic person will also weaponize someone else’s difficulties to discredit them. For example, a toxic parent might tell others to ignore what their child is saying because they’re autistic, while a toxic person at work will imply that a foreign colleague doesn’t know what they’re talking about because of their race.
12. Insist that the other person is wrong and ridiculous.
Toxic individuals who refuse to delve into topics beyond their comfort level will imply that others are wrong, and they won’t even consider their arguments. For instance, a fervent flat Earth believer will mock those who claim the world is round, dismissing all evidence to the contrary as deceitful nonsense created to confuse people.
