Rejection of these things is a gift to your mind.
Your peace of mind is so easily disrupted. There are countless things vying to get your attention and evoke some sort of thought or emotion. You can’t control or avoid all such disturbances, but there are certainly some things that you do have some say over. Here are eleven things that you can say no to that will conserve and promote better peace of mind.
1. Toxic, unhealthy relationships.
The people you surround yourself with have a drastic effect on your peace of mind and quality of life. Even if you aren’t directly in their business or drama, it will still splash on you and affect your peace because drama doesn’t stay neatly contained.
People judge you by the company you keep. Happy, healthy people will avoid you if you’re hanging out with toxic people. Why? They don’t want that toxicity in their life. People with healthy boundaries stay away from that negativity because they know it will affect them, too.
2. Unrealistic expectations.
Life is imperfect. You are imperfect. No matter how much you strive for perfection, you will never reach it. Even if you do convince yourself that you’ve reached perfection, sooner or later you will find holes in your reasoning because you can’t be perfect.
Trying to live up to these unrealistic expectations disturbs your peace because you are striving for an impossible goal, expecting something good to happen when there’s no reason or evidence for it. Most people feel upset or disheartened when they can’t reach a goal, so you are just setting yourself up for a cycle of constant disappointment. The same goes for when you have unrealistic expectations of other people too, often leading to resentment.
3. The need for external validation.
The need for external validation puts your peace and happiness in the hands of others. The problem is that most people aren’t as concerned with your peace and happiness as they are their own. Furthermore, it becomes problematic when you constantly need that validation.
External validation stifles the unique you because you need to conform to earn it. Most people aren’t going to validate you unless you’re acting in a way they approve of. What if they don’t approve of how you act or want to live your life?
4. Complaining and pessimism.
Pessimism is a poison that perpetuates itself. The more negative and pessimistic you are, the more you will see and attract that to you. Happy, positive people don’t want to spend their time around negative people. In fact, it’s one of the key points of advice for improving one’s happiness.
Along with pessimism comes complaining. Sure, it’s alright to express your dissatisfaction or unhappiness when it arises, but no one wants to hear it over and over. Furthermore, you drive your own mind into misery by constantly rehashing it.
5. Overthinking.
Anxiety often causes overthinking because your mind is looking for a way to avoid stress. Instead of avoiding stress, overthinking creates stress because you can’t think of everything and your mind is constantly working.
Not only that, but then you also have to consider dealing with the emotions that come when something goes wrong. Then it becomes a matter of beating yourself up, doubting yourself, or questioning why you didn’t see that problem ahead of time. All of it is disruptive to your peace. The good news is that overthinking is a habit that can be overcome.
6. Jealousy and envy.
You can’t measure yourself against others to determine your self-worth and happiness. All you do is set yourself up for repeated disappointment when you find out that someone is better than you. But it’s okay—everyone is good at different things, some better than others.
That cycle of envy and jealousy can only be broken when you are able to value what you have and who you are. Competition can be healthy with the right mindset, but it can turn toxic if you place all your internal value on winning. People are more than their accomplishments.
7. Fear of change.
Resisting change keeps you stuck. Change always happens, for better or worse. The main choice you have is whether to embrace it or resist it. Change is going to happen whether you like it or not.
The key is to choose your change as much as you can. By not choosing, you are leaving that choice up to other people or the winds of fate. No one is going to have your back or advocate for your self-interests like you will.
8. An unhealthy lifestyle.
Lifestyle affects mental health in ways that people don’t always realize. A commitment to healthy routines and behaviors can significantly improve your mood, attitude, and overall perception of the world. It’s hard to be optimistic when you feel miserable.
A lack of exercise, poor diet, and insufficient sleep all negatively affect your moods and mental clarity. Furthermore, they deprive you of energy that you may otherwise have during the day because your body is a machine, and machines need the right fuel and maintenance to function well.
9. People pleasing.
Boundaries are essential for protecting your peace of mind. By saying yes to everything, you are compromising your boundaries by giving up time you may not have. That leaves you stressed out and run ragged to keep up with both your responsibilities and those you agreed to.
The ability to say “no” is one of the greatest forms of self-care. It’s empowering to stand up for yourself and enforce your boundaries. Furthermore, it creates more peace in your life because you’re living at your own pace instead of everyone else’s.
10. Living in the past.
To live in the past is to forsake your present. By dwelling in the past, you aren’t leaving space to enjoy the present moment, nor are you taking the steps to create a better present. All living in the past gives you is negative feelings about positive experiences that are long gone.
A healthy present is a happy present, and a happy present should pave the way for a happy future. It’s valuable to examine the past for mistakes to learn from, but one should not dwell and fantasize about it.
11. Clutter and chaos.
A simple environment is a peaceful environment. Clutter creates anxiety because your mind constantly needs to subconsciously interpret everything that you’re looking at. The more clutter there is, the less your mind can be at rest.
Furthermore, it’s stressful to have a bunch of stuff that you may no longer have a need for. It may be things that don’t bring you any kind of happiness or satisfaction. That’s not to say that material things will give you long-term happiness, but they can certainly boost it in the present.
