These 12 behaviors indicate insincerity.
Although most of us intuit insincerity from people, we can sometimes second-guess our responses because we don’t trust our own instincts. If you’re ever in doubt, beware of those who exhibit the behaviors below. They’re rarely sincere, and often used for the sake of self-benefit.
1. Excessive praise and flattery.
Some people use effusive, over-enthusiastic praise for small children who show off their artwork as a way of encouraging them. But beware if they use a similar tone to behave like sycophants with those whose favor they want to earn, such as high-ranking members of society. According to Psychology Today, it’s a common tactic used for personal benefit or to gain control.
2. Smiling with their mouths, but not their eyes.
You may be surprised to discover that children as young as four or five can discern fake smiles from real ones because of the microexpressions and muscles used to create them. Watch for people who smile without eye or eyebrow movement (and whose smiles drop in an instant) as this implies insincerity.
3. Agreeing with everything people around them say.
It’s difficult to have any faith in a person who doesn’t seem to have their own opinions or stances on any given subject. It’s even worse when they simply agree with whatever other people around them are saying — especially if they agree with contradictory ideas when surrounded by other groups. Simply Psychology suggests that this excessive type of “mirroring” is a common tactic used by narcissists to manipulate their victims. And whilst we’re not suggesting every insincere person is a narcissist, the manipulation approach is the same.
4. Overly effusive laughter when someone says something funny.
Fake laughter always seems forced, and laughter that is disproportionate to what a person said is usually pandering, insincere behavior. Although tittering or overenthusiastic laughter sometimes happens when a person is nervous or anxious, it can also be a sign of groveling, toadying behavior that’s meant to garner favor.
5. Faking interest in a subject.
“OMG that’s SO INTERESTING, tell me more!”
People who insist that they’re super interested in a subject they’ve never been concerned with before are either being patronizing, or indulging someone else for their own benefit. You can tell whether someone is responding sincerely or not, so be wary of those who fake their enthusiasm.
6. Having a selective memory.
It’s amazing how some people can remember every single detail of the wrongs others have done to them, but conveniently forget their own trespasses. You can have much more faith in people who own up to their missteps than those who gloss over them, yet use your own transgressions against you.
7. Name-dropping for the sake of associated status.
There are few things as off-putting as those who randomly comment about the celebrity “friends” they supposedly have, to impress those around them. They often do this to make people think they have greater social status or wealth than was originally assumed. So if someone starts dropping names, be on guard; this person is not genuine.
8. Weaponizing their victimhood for sympathy and attention.
Everyone has their personal struggles, but some people use theirs as a means to garner sympathy and attention from others, as well as potential labor, gifts, and special allowances. In fact, research has shown that people who often signal their victim status are more likely to lie and cheat for personal gain.
Some also do this to evade responsibility or punishment for poor behavior, using their trauma or diagnoses as excuses when confronted.
9. Being overly flirtatious to get what they want.
Insincere people are often flirtatious with those they aren’t actually attracted to if it means they’ll get their way. If enticing someone might lead to monetary or other personal gain, they’ll flirt without any intention of following through on their suggestions.
10. Offering backhanded compliments.
Backhanded compliments may initially seem kind, but always have a sour note associated with them. An insincere person might tell someone that they look amazing “for their age”, or that it’s amazing that they’re so confident “for their height”, leaving the recipient wondering what was actually meant by the so-called compliment.
11. “Bulking up” the stories they tell with lies.
There’s a common trope about fishing in which a person catches a small fish and then insists it was a 20lb behemoth, but it can apply to any situation. If you spend time with a person who consistently embellishes their stories (when you know the truth), keep your distance from them.
12. Being critical under the guise of being concerned.
These are the people who will criticize someone else’s choices in partners, wardrobe, makeup, or any other aspect of their life. If they’re reprimanded for overstepping boundaries, they’ll act hurt and offended. They will say they’re “just trying to help” or they’re “concerned for your well-being” to try and excuse their behavior and put the blame on you. Don’t let them.
