These behaviors should be a hard “no”.
If you ask 100 random people what their relationship deal breakers are, you’re likely to get dozens of different answers. That said, you’ll also get numerous people saying the same thing, as there are some things that are completely intolerable from a partner.
For example, self-respecting women are highly unlikely to tolerate the following issues in a potential mate, and will consider them absolute deal breakers to run from as quickly as possible if and when they make an appearance.
1. Terrible hygiene.
It’s one thing to have a bit of a pong after a workout, but if someone’s body and mouth stinks on a regular basis, that’s not okay. Now, some people have incompatible pheromones that make them smell like siblings to one another, but that’s very different from someone who hasn’t showered or brushed their teeth in known memory.
Some people make up all kinds of excuses as to why they’re lax with personal hygiene, but there’s no real justification for choosing to avoid soap and water.
2. Unfair and unbalanced domestic labor.
In a 2017 study, researchers found that most women do more household chores than their male partners, regardless of age or whether they also have full-time jobs. If two people live together, then both are responsible for the chores and responsibilities associated with that home.
No self-respecting woman would accept being treated like a maid instead of an equal partner, nor should she have to tell a grown adult what chores they should be doing, as though she’s their mother.
3. “Zombie-ing”.
This phrase refers to the situation when someone ghosts their partner, and then magically steps back into her life after a period of time. According to SimplyPsychology, the ghoster inevitably has a “really good reason” as to why they disappeared, and usually asks (or begs) for a second chance.
Any woman who respects herself will slam the door on that immediately. If this person ghosted her once, they don’t respect her at all, and will undoubtedly do it again.
4. Unreliability.
A person’s word only has value if they keep it. If a person keeps making promises but never sticks to them, it shows their partner that they lack integrity and can’t be relied upon in any situation.
Those who break small promises will also break larger ones, regardless of how much they swear that they never will. In their mind, those big commitments may be more important to keep than the smaller ones, but they’ve set a precedent that they’ll only keep their word if they want to.
5. Baiting and switching.
Far too often, women will get into relationships with people who have solid jobs and life goals, but once the relationships are established, these partners are suddenly incapable of working or going to school anymore. As such, the women they’re dating are forced to support them financially as well as emotionally, while doing all the cooking and cleaning too.
Astonishingly, the ailments or pain that prevent these folks from working or doing housework don’t seem to interfere with hobbies and pastimes, such as gaming, or drinking with friends.
6. Theft.
Maybe he uses up something of hers without asking and tries to excuse his behavior because he planned to replace it before she noticed it was gone. Or at a holiday gathering, one of his family members opens a gift that looks suspiciously like something she used to own, but went missing at some point.
Theft is an absolute deal breaker, no matter what his excuse may be. He’s proven that he can’t be trusted, and if he’s allowed to steal without repercussions, he’ll keep doing it.
7. Incompetence.
Every adult human being should know basic cooking techniques, personal finance management, home and vehicle maintenance, and emergency first aid/health care. If it turns out that a partner can’t blink or tie their shoes without someone helping them, then the only type of relationship possible with this person is that of mother and child.
Self-respecting women don’t want to have intimate relationships with Peter Pan types. If they want life with a child, they’ll give birth to—or adopt—their own.
8. Controlling behavior.
Trying to control someone else’s life is a massive red flag. It’s one thing for someone to offer their partner advice if they’re asked for it, and something else entirely if they try to dominate and control them, either overtly or through passive-aggressive manipulation.
A grown woman who knows and respects herself won’t tolerate someone else trying to tell her what to do. She’ll curb this type of behavior when it appears, and if it continues, she’ll end the relationship.
9. Clinginess.
Just about everyone needs their alone time in order to pursue their own interests without interruption. A partner who intrudes upon (or sabotages) a woman’s personal time and space because they feel that their desire for her attention supersedes her need for alone time is a walking red flag.
Behavior like this tells the woman that not only does he not respect her, but he also sees her as an object that exists to provide him with what he wants on demand, rather than a person.
10. Unkindness or cruelty, especially toward the vulnerable.
Cruelty can manifest in dozens of different ways, from insulting wait staff to teasing or causing physical pain to animals, children, and special needs individuals. Some people brush off their partners’ reprehensible behavior by saying that they’re “just playing” or “don’t really mean it”, instead of holding them accountable for their actions.
Self-respecting women don’t tolerate this nonsense, and will distance themselves from those who display cruelty and malice. Furthermore, they’ll generally take action to ensure others know about these awful actions, including pressing charges if need be.
11. Asking for a DNA test for your baby/children.
Asking a pregnant—or recently postpartum—woman for a DNA test to prove paternity is horribly insulting. It calls her integrity into question and is essentially an indirect accusation of infidelity.
No self-respecting woman would tolerate this request, nor would she remain in a relationship with a man who asked for one. It shows that he mistrusts her on a fundamental level, and that he thinks that she’s a promiscuous liar. If she does go through with the test, she’ll hand the results to him wrapped in divorce papers.
12. Abuse toward herself or her family.
It’s bad enough if someone is abusive toward their partner, but it’s just as bad if they’re abusive toward her children or parents. If they make inappropriate or insulting comments toward her kids, or manipulate (or even bully) her parents, it’s over.
She may have been blinded by love initially, but the safety and wellbeing of her family takes precedence, always. Furthermore, she won’t be silent about what this person did so her now-former partner will have difficulty finding other victims in the future.
