12 things high-character people simply won’t do.
Many of us were asked as children whether we would “jump off a cliff just because our friends were doing so”. The point being, that just because everyone else is doing something doesn’t mean it’s a good idea.
Those whose character and integrity are more important than going along with the crowd have carried this belief through to adulthood, and as such, they never engage in the social “norms” listed below.
1. Making empty promises.
A person’s word only has value if they keep it.
According to Psychology Today, making empty promises can be a form of emotional abuse (whether intentional or not), and it’s often used for the sake of being agreeable, to end an uncomfortable conversation, or for the person doing the agreeing to fulfill their own wants.
When a person makes promises but doesn’t keep their word, it destroys other people’s faith in them. It can have significant and long-term impacts, making those around the empty promiser hesitant to trust anyone ever again. Clearly not something someone with high character would want to do.
2. Compromising their integrity for the sake of social acceptance.
How have you felt when you discovered that someone you respected lied, cheated, or groomed others inappropriately? Integrity involves doing the right thing for the right reason, even if nobody else is paying attention.
Losing integrity due to eagerness to be accepted by others, doesn’t just harm the person, but also their social standing, according to Dr Barbara Killinger, clinical psychologist and author of “Doing the right thing for the right reason.” In addition to being erosive to one’s own self-esteem and dignity, other people’s awareness of someone’s lack of integrity will ruin the social status they were aiming for to begin with.
3. Blindly agreeing with those around them.
Some people make the mistake of being “Yes Men”: blindly (and usually weakly) supporting those in positions of power over them. Even if they disagree with them, they’ll nod, smile, and grovel to remain in their superior’s good graces.
Those of low character behave this way to achieve or maintain acceptance from those they want to be close to. They sometimes do this to climb a social ladder, while others are simply so conflict-averse that they’ll agree to anything in order to avoid discomfort.
In contrast, someone who values integrity above all else would rather fall out of favor than go along with something that doesn’t sit right with them.
4. Behaving stupidly.
The cult of shallow ignorance has a lot of adherents, whereas those of noble disposition don’t engage in foolish or irresponsible behavior. They learn from mistakes instead of repeating them, are diligent instead of absent-minded, and don’t indulge poor judgment for the sake of temporary amusement.
Behaving stupidly is wasteful and destructive, and often achieves nothing but loss and needless drama. It’s difficult to maintain any degree of self-respect if you choose to behave like an imbecile, and furthermore, those around you won’t respect you either.
5. Excessive inebriation.
Having a glass of wine (or two) when out with friends can lighten one’s spirits and keep conversation fun and lively. In contrast, drinking a bottle or two inevitably leads to inappropriate behavior, belligerence, and the need to repair damaged relationships afterward.
Drinking to excess implies a lack of self-discipline and self-respect. Furthermore, it’s incredibly trying when others have to take care of a person who’s fall-down drunk — both while they’re intoxicated, and afterward, so they don’t end up seriously ill or injured.
6. Jumping on bandwagons because everyone else is.
Those of low character are often very easily influenced and quick to leap into action to join others who are doing a Something. If you’ve ever wondered how people could suddenly pick up torches and pitchforks to condemn a close friend or neighbor who had only ever helped them, this is why.
In contrast, people of high character seek to understand others’ actions and will weigh them up before jumping on any popular bandwagon. If something doesn’t align with their values, they won’t take part.
7. Speaking the same way everyone else does.
You’ve likely noticed how different speech patterns and colloquialisms run like wildfire through various groups, as people adopt everything from vocal fry to filler words and phrases such as “it be like”. Suddenly, they all sound exactly the same, and their speech bears no resemblance to what it sounded like previously.
Those of high character, however, remain apart from the herd in this respect. Rather than bleating along with everyone else, they have their own unique cadence and vocabulary, which sets them apart from the crowd wherever they go.
8. Having an inconsistent sense of self.
It’s great to be adaptable and to adjust to different scenarios as needed — especially if you work in public relations or a similar career that requires a great deal of socialization. The key here is to meet people where they’re at while simultaneously maintaining a sense of self.
Instead of living authentically, many people of low personal character will do things like change up their wardrobes on a seasonal basis to fit in with whatever fashions are trending with the crowd at the time, even if they dislike those aesthetics. People of high character, however, know who they are and what they like, and they don’t care whether it’s trending or not.
9. Being heavily influenced by social media.
Those of high character often avoid being too present on social media, and as a result, don’t get influenced or worn down by it. While others are keeping apprised of all the cool things “influencers” are doing, high-character individuals pursue their own interests, spiritual leanings, creativity, etc.
It’s a lot easier to be aware of who they really are, what they like, and how they feel, without having other people’s thoughts and ideas foisted upon them constantly.
10. Putting down or embarrassing their loved ones to amuse others.
People who humiliate their partners or family members for the sake of getting a laugh don’t realize that they’re both demeaning themselves and embarrassing those whom they profess to care about.
Not only are they showing those close to them that they don’t respect them, but they’re also revealing that they lack integrity and basic decency along with character. If they make a habit of doing this sort of thing, they may find those in their social circles will cut them off rather quickly.
11. Disparaging those of other faiths or political leanings.
Many people don’t realize that just because a faith isn’t something they believe or were raised with, doesn’t mean that it doesn’t have value. One can even actively dislike another person’s tenets or political leanings, without being hostile or abusive towards them.
There are always nuggets of gold within the dross, and those of high character know that they can still learn from things they disagree with. Furthermore, they refuse to disparage all people of a certain faith or demographic just because some in that cohort behave poorly.
12. Doing things that they fundamentally disagree with.
People of high character inevitably also have a high degree of integrity. As such, they never partake in things that they absolutely disagree with. Even though others may mock or condemn them for not joining in, remaining true to their own morals and ethics will always take precedence in their lives.
Some people of high character have literally died for behavior like this. Extreme, yes. But at least they went to the next realm knowing that they remained true to their convictions and didn’t cave in.
