Some people have enthusiastic optimism that inspires and encourages everyone around them. In contrast, others have defeatist attitudes that put a dampener on everyone they meet. Those who fall into the latter category often display the behaviors listed below. Consider yourself warned.
1. They’re quick to give up.
While most people who experience setbacks or small failures will pick up and try again, a person with a defeatist attitude will give up at the first sign of trouble. Furthermore, they’ll thoroughly believe that since they failed once, they’ll fail again, so there’s no point in giving anything another try.
2. Procrastination.
According to Psych Central, procrastination is a common self-defeating behavior and is often a result of perfectionist thoughts.
Someone with a defeatist attitude may have grandiose ideas about things they want to do, but will always find an excuse as to why now isn’t a good time to get started. As such, they’ll start their new diet next week, or they’ll get their finances in order next month, and so on.
Alternatively, their procrastination may take the form of analysis paralysis. Driven by a fear of failure, they spend so much time overanalyzing their decisions, that they never get started. And ironically, they end up failing through inaction anyway.
3. Negative self-talk.
They constantly put themselves down, call themselves names, or imply that they’re stupid and useless. They may view themselves as inferior and defective. Quite often, this is because they’re echoing what other people have said to them over the years: this negativity has become an essential part of their personal narrative.
4. They naysay others’ plans and passions.
Whenever someone talks about the things they’re passionate about or the plans they have for their own future, a defeatist person will instantly find something negative to say about it. Their criticisms and condemnations inevitably leave the previously enthused person feeling dejected and dispirited.
5. Self-sabotage.
A large number of people with defeatist attitudes will self-sabotage their various pursuits because trying and failing is far worse for them than never trying at all. As such, they’ll do things like spend money they were saving so they can’t start their course, or they’ll be late for a first date to avoid potential rejection.
According to Psychology Today, some people aren’t even aware they are self-sabotaging in this way, which makes it a difficult habit to break.
6. They come up with a slew of reasons not to start, or to just quit.
Whenever they have a great opportunity, they’ll find ways to talk themselves out of it. For example, an unemployed person who’s offered a job will turn it down because they need to sleep in for their health, or they may quit a job when given a promotion because it’s causing them too much anxiety.
7. Nihilism: they believe there’s no point to anything.
Many people with defeatist attitudes firmly believe that life is meaningless, so there’s no point in doing anything at all. They often project this nihilism onto others, talking about how all their efforts are pointless and that we’re all just dust in the wind, so they might as well just watch TV, eat snacks, and let the world burn.
8. Reckless and self-destructive behavior.
Despair can be a terrible force in one’s life, and those who display a defeatist perspective are often hovering on the brink of it. As a result, they often partake in reckless, risky, or potentially self-destructive activities in order to feel something, anything, even if what they’re feeling is potentially harmful.
9. Escapism.
Defeatist people often seek escapism from their awful circumstances. They may combine drugs with other recreational activities to essentially ignore anything that they deem out of their comfort zone. They give up on the pursuits that might have interested them once, seeing them all as insurmountable, and try to forget about them.
10. High focus on other people’s lives.
Those who feel broken or deeply unhappy will often focus on what they perceive to be negative aspects of their friends’, family’s, or neighbors’ lives. Complaining about others’ poor life choices and behaviors shifts the focus away from them. Instead, they can project their self-hatred on others from a safe distance.
11. Disassociation.
According to Web MD, disassociation is a conscious detachment from something that is often used as a coping mechanism (and it’s not to be confused with dissociation).
Doom scrolling on their phones or tablets, mindlessly watching TV, walking for hours on a treadmill, or sleeping as often as possible are just a few ways in which defeatists numb out and disassociate from a world that they feel they’ll never succeed within.
12. Focusing on everything that is negative in the world.
In contrast to disassociation, some instead choose to deep-dive into everything that’s going wrong in the world. They’ll spend hours delving into horror stories from other countries, and then go on at length about how everyone is doomed and there’s no point in trying to fix anything because it’s simply too late. They drain the life out of anyone willing to listen and quickly find that those people don’t stay willing for very long.
