Words have power, and some words absolutely destroy yours. At some point in our lives, most of us have accidentally become someone’s doormat without realizing it, and it’s often due to the way we communicate. What you say is just as important as how you say it, after all. Here are eleven phrases that quietly tell the world you’re an easy target, even if that wasn’t your intention.
1. “I’m sorry, but…”
When you start every sentence this way, you probably don’t realize how much ground you’re losing before you even make your point. Over-apologizing isn’t politeness—it’s self-destruction that makes you appear weaker and less confident, according to research. Each unnecessary “sorry” chips away at your professional credibility faster than you can imagine, and soon enough, people start hearing your apologies as white noise.
Essentially, routinely apologizing tells everyone around you that your thoughts, opinions, and contributions are somehow less valuable. So if you use this phrase often, don’t be surprised if people start ignoring you. Your words deserve space, and your ideas matter, so stop apologizing for taking up oxygen.
2. “It’s probably my fault.”
Mistakes happen, but not every single one is your fault. Unfortunately, it’s too easy to make, “It’s probably my fault” your default response—even when logic screams otherwise. But in doing so, you’re becoming a welcome mat for other people’s failures and frustrations.
According to Psych Central, when you constantly shoulder the blame for things, you adopt an attitude of “false responsibility”, which can leave you open to manipulation. Of course, accountability matters, but so does recognizing when something isn’t your responsibility. You aren’t to blame for everyone else’s mess-ups, so don’t let them off the hook by taking responsibility for something that wasn’t your fault.
3. “I don’t want any trouble.”
“I don’t want any trouble” sounds reasonable until you realize the message it sends. Avoiding conflict is more of a surrender strategy than a way to keep the peace, as you’re telling people that everything about you is negotiable. Sadly, people who hear this know exactly how to manipulate you.
It’s okay to stand up for yourself and say what you really need. That’s not causing trouble, it’s maintaining your self-respect. Research (and common sense) shows that honest communication is crucial for social cohesion. And yes, honesty can sometimes cause conflict, but conflict can be useful. Dodging every potential disagreement doesn’t only make you “less trouble,” it makes you invisible.
4. “I’m not sure, what do you think?”
Asking people, “I’m not sure, what do you think?” is really just a way of asking someone to make your decisions for you. You’re literally giving them power over your life. Being confident doesn’t have to involve knowing everything. Rather, it means you’re comfortable with your own perspective.
Every time you defer to someone else’s opinion, you’re telling yourself that your thoughts aren’t worthy. You should never ask for permission to have an opinion, because your opinions are valuable, even when—especially when—they’re different from everyone else’s.
5. “Just this once, then.”
Saying, “Just this once, then,” is only ever going to destroy your boundaries. One small concession leads to another—and suddenly, you’re doing everything you never wanted to do. And people who hear this know exactly how to wear down your resistance the next time around.
You need boundaries to protect yourself, and you can’t keep making exceptions. Why? Because when you do, you’re teaching others that your initial “no” is just a negotiation starting point. They’ll think of your time and energy as resources to be exploited every time.
6. “I don’t mind, whatever you prefer.”
It might sound like this is a good way to keep the peace, but it’s actually a complete surrender of your personal agency. These words make you a passive player in your own life, and soon enough, someone will manipulate you according to their expectations.
Constant people-pleasing is a form of self-erasure rather than kindness since it tells people that your needs are disposable. In healthy relationships, you need some give and take. Of course, you don’t need to broadcast your preferences all the time, and it’s ok if sometimes you don’t have a preference. But when you do feel a certain way about something, let it be known, or risk the consequences both now and later down the line.
7. “Sorry to bother you, but…”
Before you’ve even asked for something, you’ve already apologized, and this positions you as an inconvenience. During a conversation, you shouldn’t be phrasing your need as a burden.
Worse still, starting a conversation with these words is a way of explaining why you shouldn’t be talking, and that’s not right. You’re sabotaging yourself before you’ve even begun, even though your requests deserve space. There’s no reason for them to require an automatic disclaimer or apology.
8. “I suppose that’s okay.”
This is another phrase that’s a form of reluctance disguised as agreement. It shows you’ll go along with something even though you don’t really want to. When you use it, you’re giving others permission to ignore your potential resistance.
In fact, passive acceptance is worse than direct disagreement because you’re telling the world that you’re so afraid of conflict that you’d rather be miserable than speak up. As a result, people will take this as an invitation to ignore your real feelings.
9. “Let’s just go with what you want.”
Even though you might think this phrase is a way of compromising, it’s actually a way of disappearing. Healthy relationships need input from both sides. Without this input, your relationship is unbalanced and on rocky ground.
Every time you automatically yield to the other person, they’ll think your opinion doesn’t matter. Just remember that negotiation doesn’t have to involve winning. Rather, mutual respect should be the name of the game. As such, there’s no reason to immediately discard your perspective at the first sign of potential disagreement.
10. “I didn’t want to cause any problems.”
Sure, it sounds noble, but it’s just another way to erase your wants, needs, and self-respect. Real peace doesn’t come from silence. Instead, you get this from honest, respectful communication with other people.
Conflict isn’t something to be afraid of because it’s a normal part of human interaction. When you prioritize avoiding disagreement over expressing your real self you end up trading your voice for a fake, hollow sense of peace that over time builds into something more sinister – resentment.
11. “You’re probably right.”
Despite what you might’ve heard, critical thinking involves engaging genuinely with the other person. And that’s exactly why saying “You’re probably right” all the time is so bad. This phrase is a way of deferring to others that immediately makes you lose the argument (and your self-respect).
But that’s not all. Saying this phrase affects your capacity for independent thought. It makes you a yes person. Instead, try challenging ideas and asking questions. You need to actively participate in the world rather than sitting back like a passive observer.
