It can be a bit scary to start a new chapter of your life story when you’re in midlife, but there’s no time like the present to make a huge, positive new change! If you’ve been contemplating leaping into a new direction, these 12 bold steps can help to get you where you want to be.
1. Determine whatever is holding you back and make the conscious decision to ditch it so you can do The Thing.
If you haven’t already determined what it is that’s been holding you back, make sure to prioritize that. For some people, it’ll be a tangible issue like money, but for others it’ll be self-imposed restrictions such as the idea that they’re not good enough, which have been keeping them from pursuing their dreams. It may even be a person who’s holding you back.
Once whatever is hindering you has been identified, be proactive about severing that weight with the conscious, optimistic decision that you’re going to start anew, and it’s going to be great!
2. Stop worrying about what other people will think.
For many people, the negative self-talk they experience on a regular basis has been inspired by others’ voices. These voices can hold them back from pursuing the life they’ve always wanted, especially if they inspire self-loathing, self-directed ageism, as mentioned in Psychology Today.
Some people will look down upon you for ending (or beginning) a relationship or starting a new career, but your life is your own to live, not theirs. If they think poorly of you for being true to yourself, so be it. Midlife is a great time to stop giving a damn about many things, including what other people think of you.
3. Make a solid plan.
Making a S.M.A.R.T. plan can help you achieve whatever it is you’re aiming for by creating a solid path to adhere to. According to the Corporate Finance Institute, “goals that are specific have a significantly greater chance of being accomplished”.
These goals are:
S- Specific
M- Measurable
A- Achievable
R- Realistic
T- Timely
Essentially, look at the big picture you want to accomplish, and then break it down into achievable segments that you’re aiming to achieve within X period of time, making success far more likely.
4. Be honest about whether you’re running away from something or running towards a goal.
When it comes to starting a new chapter of your life, it’s important to be honest about whether you’re fleeing something or striving towards something else. If you feel that you’re running away from your problems and your old life because of choices you regret, financial difficulties, etc., then your difficulties may simply follow you into this next chapter.
In contrast, you can reframe your approach to this new chapter as a healthy, positive change of direction, rather than simply abandoning one mess only to potentially start another one.
5. Remake yourself as the version that you’ve always dreamed of being.
Does the person in the mirror reflect how you see yourself? If not, what’s stopping you from embodying the version of yourself that you feel is more authentic? We all have limitations due to our personal genetics, of course, but we can work with what we have to the best of our abilities.
Select clothes that make you feel happy and confident about yourself. Let your food choices reflect your true preferences, and use dishware that makes each meal a celebration. These small actions add up to monumental positive change.
6. Surround yourself with “your” people.
If you’ve spent far too many years keeping relationships going with people you don’t actually like (possibly for the sake of social or professional advancement), cut back on that significantly. Instead, surround yourself with people who help to nurture your light, rather than smothering it.
This is your opportunity to cultivate new relationships and find community with sincere, wonderful people who are eager to help you achieve your goals and work with you to make all of your lives brighter and more beautiful.
7. Establish a support structure for yourself.
People who experience the greatest success in their endeavors are those who have a social network to lean on when they feel stuck or stressed. There are many people well suited to the role of confidante. For some, this might include friends, family members, and a spiritual community, while others will thrive with life coaches, therapists, and financial advisors.
Whatever your chosen path may be, ensure that you let those close to you know what’s going on so they can help to weave a supportive web around you. You’re more likely to achieve your goals if you let others help you.
8. Discard anything that no longer serves you.
There’s no time like the present to Marie Kondo all the things in your life that don’t bring you joy, or no longer serve you. This isn’t limited to physical items that you’ve been toting around for decades, but also thoughts and perspectives that may be holding you back.
If you find that you’re struggling to let go of negative self-talk or that you have a stumbling block you can’t seem to overcome, consider working with a life coach or therapist to help move you past it.
9. Identify the areas in which you may stumble.
While you’re in the process of establishing the steps you need to take to start this new chapter, it’s important to identify the areas that require extra help. This is where you need to be honest with yourself about what has caused you to stumble in the past, so you can avoid repeating those missteps.
Although you may be tempted to just move on and not think about past problems, especially if you feel ashamed of them, it’s only by recognizing your weaknesses and learning from them that you can strengthen them.
10. Work at a reasonable pace.
We get it: you’re eager to start this new chapter of your life, but you don’t want to sabotage it by trying to do too much, too quickly. If you dive in and try to do it all at once, you may burn out and then have to start this chapter all over again.
As such, start with small tasks and projects that you can achieve fairly quickly. For example, if you want to move to another country, start learning the language with an online course.
11. If necessary, change your location.
If you find that you’re slipping into old, self-destructive (or self-sabotaging) habits because your surroundings and social circle are influencing you negatively and drawing you back into your old life, then it may be a good idea to pick up and move somewhere completely different.
Find a place that inspires you, where you can start anew from a blank slate. Apply to jobs or look for housing that’s at least 100 miles away, and only take things with you that you can’t live without.
12. Make it clear to naysayers that you aren’t interested in their negativity.
This one may be the most difficult step to take, but it is fiercely important. Other people may try to convince you to remain in your current situation for a variety of reasons, ranging from thinking that they know what’s best for you, to not wanting dynamics to change in their own lives. Sometimes you’ll need to let these people go in order to start your new chapter. Other times, you’ll be stuck with negative people you just can’t avoid.
If that’s the case, make it absolutely clear to them that unless they’re being supportive, you don’t want to hear from them. You’ve spent too many years languishing instead of thriving, and you won’t let anyone hold you back anymore.
