People tend to immediately equate integrity with honesty, though these two words aren’t interchangeable. Honesty often drives integrity, but integrity is also about your morals and principles. It’s about doing the right things when it’s hard or standing up for what you believe in, when others are trying to shout you down.
Integrity matters because not only does it reflect good actions, but it also simplifies your life in a distinct way. If you act with integrity, you can be assured that you did the right thing to the best of your ability.
Acting with integrity may not always lead to beneficial external outcomes, but as Dr. Jessica Koehler writes, it does have many internal benefits, including improved self-esteem, peace of mind, and mental wellness.
If you want to develop your integrity, consider adopting these behaviors that many people neglect.
1. Admitting your mistakes.
Everyone makes mistakes, and it’s ridiculous when people claim they don’t. Of course, they don’t directly claim they don’t make mistakes. Instead, they do things like avoid responsibility or deny that they had any part in it. More often than not, they are quick to blame other people for mistakes, but are more than happy to soak up accolades for a job well done.
Nothing is more powerful than admitting your mistakes. So many good things come from admitting your mistakes that it’s almost like a superpower. Not only do you give yourself the opportunity to learn from your mistakes, but it can also deflect those toxic elements that want to take advantage of you. For example, if you’re accused of something you didn’t do, you can simply say, “If I screwed up, I’d admit it, like the other times I did that.” The kind of people you want respect from are the same kind of people who appreciate and respect this behavior.
And if you did make a mistake, now you have the opportunity to make things right.
2. Keeping your commitments.
The commitments we make sometimes turn out to be inconvenient. However, it’s important you follow through on your word so people understand that you mean what you say. Of course, boundaries need to be drawn if someone is taking advantage of you. But if a commitment was made in good faith, it needs to be honored, or your behavior tells others you’re untrustworthy.
Personally, I was really bad at this for a long time. I’d just kind of bail out on anything I didn’t feel like doing, which I later came to understand was grossly irresponsible. Not only that, but people just straight up drifted away from me and stopped inviting me to things. That definitely changed when I started making a better effort to honor my commitments.
Sometimes, you may commit to something that could be easy to skip or weasel out of, but you still need to follow through if you want to have integrity. You need to follow through because it’s about honesty and being true to your word. If you say you’re going to do it, then do it as best as you can. If you don’t want to do it, then learn how to say “no.”
3. Doing the right thing even when no one’s watching.
You may have heard that saying before, and it’s an important part of integrity. Doing the right thing is often hard and thankless. It can be standing up in front of others to do the right thing, or it can be quietly doing the right thing when no one’s looking.
Doing the right thing when no one is looking is bigger because it lacks the social pressure when others are aware of what you’re doing. Yes, you will feel more inclined to do the right thing when other people are there, reminding you that you need to do it. That’s much easier than the personal sacrifice and choice you need to make to do the right thing on your own.
But integrity isn’t about other people and what they think. Integrity is about you, your behavior, and how you carry yourself, regardless of what other people think.
4. Treating everyone with respect.
A person with integrity is consistent in treating everyone fairly and with respect, regardless of their station. It’s human nature to want to treat people better when they can do something for you. After all, people are self-centered creatures who are often trying to do better for themselves. But, even as a military leader like Lt. Col. Matthew Fisher will remind us, treating people with respect is an integral behavior in all social relationships.
People with integrity understand that everyone is worth treating with respect, regardless of what they can do for you. They’re still people, even if they don’t measure up to some social standard or aren’t acting in a good way.
Those are often the people who need a little respect the most. Consistency in how you treat other people matters.
5. Speaking up against wrongdoing.
It’s hard to stand up for what’s right when you’re surrounded by people who are okay with it. It may be uncomfortable or unpopular, it may have negative repercussions, but a person with integrity stands up for what’s right and for people who can’t do it themselves.
Human nature isn’t pretty. If people don’t stand up against wrongdoing, then what’s right will always be governed by a group that may not be doing good things, and groups are often not reliable at all. Bad behavior can be normalized in a way that marginalizes people who don’t fit the social mold or expectations of a civil society.
Unfortunately, speaking up against wrongdoing to others often has negative repercussions. No one ever said that integrity was easy.
6. Giving credit where credit is due.
Too many people are quick to snatch up the accolades for victory and avoid the repercussions of loss. These are not the behaviors of someone with integrity. A person with integrity is more than happy to direct credit to the people who deserve it.
It’s obvious this may be an issue in a team environment where there are multiple people contributing. However, there are times when you find yourself in an environment where you’re in a position to accept credit for someone else’s efforts.
The right thing to do, the action with integrity, is to inform the person offering the praise of who should be properly credited.
7. Respecting others’ boundaries and time.
Nothing is more frustrating than someone who doesn’t honor the boundaries of others, nor value their time. You should be putting every effort into meeting a deadline or showing up on time if you say you’re going to be there. Alternatively, if you can’t, at least inform the people waiting on you that you will be late or need more time. Granted, time keeping is much harder for people who struggle with executive function and time blindness, such as those with ADHD. But as Additude magazine informs us, there are compensatory strategies that can be employed for this, if you’re willing to make the effort.
Many people don’t realize this is a matter of respecting boundaries. If I have a tight schedule and things to do, you are inconveniencing me by not doing what you agreed to do. You’re throwing off my schedule and putting me at risk of breaking my agreements because you think your time is more valuable than mine.
It’s likely that your time is more valuable to you. However, if mine is more valuable to me, you may find that I walk away once the time rolls around and you’re not present. I have other obligations and responsibilities.
8. Staying true to your values under pressure.
It’s easy to have values and integrity when you’re not challenged. No, the time they really matter is when you’re facing a challenge to them, when you’re faced with adversity. Integrity means standing by them even when other people are trying to get you to back down on what you believe to be right. It’s a struggle that people with strong morals often face.
On the other hand, it’s perfectly okay to change your mind and perspective with new information. Society paints this as a bad thing. They call you a flip-flopper or accuse you of doing a U-turn if you change your opinion because you received new information. But changing your mind is in line with integrity, as you need to be able to admit you’re wrong to change an opinion.
The people who use flip-flopper as an insult are the same kind of people stuck in a singular mindset that keeps them from growing and demonstrating true integrity. It’s kind of ridiculous if you think about it. How can you be the same person today that you were ten years ago? You can’t.
Final thoughts…
Integrity is good for the soul, but often hard when you start enforcing it in yourself. It’s not easy to stand up for what’s right when other people are trying to pull you down. It’s not easy to stand up for other people who can’t stand up for themselves. It’s not always easy to choose to do the right thing when no one’s looking, especially if doing wrong benefits you.
Still, these are the challenges you have to face if you want to be able to see yourself as a person with integrity. It’s hard, but it’s worth it.
