Do you want to be successful? Here are the top 12 things to avoid getting hung up on…
1. The jealousy of others.
There will always be someone who wants what you have.
They want a piece of the action, and they’re annoyed that you’ve got something they don’t.
Their jealousy will likely make them act in a negative way toward you.
They might try to get in your head to drag you down, or they might try to take something from you (be it a job they decide to interview for once you’ve said you’re interviewing for it, or choosing to flirt with the person they know you like).
Either way, they’re envious of what you’ve got and they want to get even with you—or get above you!
Successful people know to ignore jealousy and keep pushing on.
The other person’s feelings—unless they’re someone close to you—are none of your concern, so try to just focus on yourself!
If they want what you have, they need to put the blood, sweat, and tears in…just like you’ve had to!
2. Fear.
Everyone gets scared at times—whether it’s about not having enough money, ending up alone, or failing in work or business.
Successful people find a way to stop letting fear control their decisions!
Fear can keep you blinkered and unable to achieve your goals because you shut down when things get uncertain or unfamiliar.
You know the saying, “If you want something you’ve never had before, you need to do something you’ve never done before,” right? Well, that’s only possible if you can learn to let go of fear.
Trying new approaches may be scary, but that doesn’t mean it’s bad! If you panic when things are uncomfortable, remember that discomfort is where growth happens—and growth is where success comes from.
Don’t let fear stand in the way of achieving your goals. Yes, it’s easier said than done, but it will pay off.
You just need to keep pushing through and believe that everything will work out for the best.
3. The judgment of others.
It’s natural to be conscious of how other people perceive you—we all are, whether we want to admit it or not!
It would be unrealistic of us to suggest you give up caring what others think, but it’s something to cut back on as much as you can.
Successful people care about the opinions of those they love and trust, as well as key leaders or experts, but they don’t let negative judgments from others hold them back from doing what they need to do to reach their goals.
It can be hard to take a step back and block out the judgmental comments you might be getting, but it’s necessary to achieve your dreams!
At the end of the day, only you truly know how hard you’re working, how much passion you have, and how much you want to reach your goals. Stick with yourself and focus on the positives!
4. Self-doubt.
Self-doubt happens to the best of us! We live in a world of endless one-upping and constant comparison, both online and in real life.
It’s hard not to get dissuaded sometimes, especially when it looks like everyone else is doing better than you!
Try to remember that most of the time, people present the ideal, filtered, ultra-enhanced version of themselves, not the real version.
Rather than letting self-doubt creep in, try to focus on what you have already achieved—sure, you might not be at 100%, but are you 30% closer toward your goal than you were when you started?
Learning to challenge negative thoughts and address a lack of self-belief is a real skill, and it’s something that successful people practice every day.
The more you can fight those feelings and thoughts, the closer you’ll be to achieving your dream!
5. Setbacks.
There will always be setbacks, no matter how prepared or intelligent or passionate you are.
Both the iPhone and space rockets underwent multiple iterations before being ready for “launch.” Similarly, Olympic athletes have faced setbacks and have experienced frustration in their pursuit of personal bests.
Everything worth anything takes time, and you must accept that some things are out of your control. No matter how much you hustle, there will be roadblocks and red tape at some point.
Rather than letting this get you down or stand in your way, find an alternative route! If you’re committed to your goal, you’ll find another way to get there.
6. Conventions.
Worrying too much about adhering to norms or conforming to the status quo can hinder your success.
Whilst there is a reason that certain ways of thinking or approaches to life are popular, it doesn’t necessarily mean that they are going to be right for you!
Rather than getting bogged down in conventions, don’t be afraid to forge your own path—this is what will keep you pushing forward.
Ignore the traditional ways of doing things if they’re not working for you.
Successful people know that there are always multiple options, multiple routes, to their goals—if the conventional paths don’t work, there are a dozen backup paths ready to be explored.
7. Short-term pain.
Setbacks and compromises are part of everyone’s journeys, but they are also things that successful people never let stand in their way!
You are guaranteed to experience a level of short-term pain on any path to success—whether it’s having to let go of certain people in your life who no longer bring value or making sacrifices in your lifestyle or spending habits.
You might have to save some money to invest in your business idea, meaning there are some short-term adjustments (fewer meals out, no holidays, and so on), or you might have to give up your twice-weekly yoga class to stay home and hustle.
Equally, maybe your idea of success is centered around a relationship or having kids—in which case, your short-term pain might look a bit more like giving up big nights out, solo holidays, and adapting (read: abandoning!) your sleep schedule for your newborn.
Either way, don’t let these short-term adaptations stand in your way! Trust that the sacrifices will pay off and keep pushing forwards.
8. Financial greed.
Unless money is your ultimate definition of success, don’t make it such a big deal.
Of course, you shouldn’t be reckless with your finances, but there is more to life than money. Despite what social media is telling you, not everyone is rolling in it—and not everybody wants to be!
What many don’t realize is that successful people often strive for a particular outcome rather than the financial rewards that might follow. They enjoy the satisfaction of achieving a goal, even if that goal has nothing to do with money.
If your idea of success is having a career you love or a partner that makes you happy, does money actually matter that much to you?
If not, don’t fool yourself into thinking you’d be happier if you were filthy rich.
9. Other people’s success.
It can be challenging to stop comparing yourself to those around you—we’re bombarded with ‘proof’ of others living their best lives on social media, and it’s easy to get caught up in a comparative downward spiral.
When you’re truly committed to being successful, you’ll learn to tune out the lives of those around you. Not your loved ones, of course, but people on the internet at least!
Try to remember that people only show you what they want you to see. Successful people know that everyone shares their ‘highlight reel’ rather than their reality, so try not to get caught up on how other people seem to be doing.
Everyone has different metrics for success—just because one person has a job that enables them to travel all over the world and get paid loads, doesn’t mean you’re lacking success by not having that same job!
One person’s success doesn’t diminish your opportunity for success—there is plenty to go around, and nobody has a monopoly on crushing goals.
Maybe your idea of success is having a nice garden and a happy family to fill it—in which case, someone else’s career has no bearing on your life.
10. Pleasing others.
While we’re not suggesting you become a horrible person who never considers others, it’s important to note that a level of selfishness is needed in order to be successful.
It might feel weird at first, but that doesn’t mean it’s wrong—it’s just unfamiliar. If you’ve always been a people-pleaser, letting go of the need to keep everyone happy can feel almost impossible!
However, it’s a skill you’ll need to practice if you want to be more successful in your life. Otherwise, you’ll be too busy helping everyone else achieve their goals to achieve yours.
Successful people are considerate and kind, but they avoid getting bogged down in fixing everyone else’s lives for them.
If you need to cancel a plan every so often to work toward your goals, that’s okay!
Those who love and know you will understand that you’re not bailing on them, you’re simply focusing on your goals right now.
And if people aren’t supportive of your aspirations, they might not be the kind of people worth having around you.
11. Traditional or superficial metrics.
When you think of reaching your goals, what do you see?
Are you winning countless awards, jetting off to fancy conferences, or doing a traveling TED Talk?
Not all success has to be public or grandiose, and that’s something that all successful people understand.
They don’t get hyper-fixated on the huge levels of fame they can reach—they focus on how to get to the endpoint and what that genuinely looks like for them.
They prioritize the journey rather than solely focusing on the destination, recognizing that the path may shift slightly on a daily basis.
If you’re constantly thinking about expansive or superficial metrics of success, you’ll become disheartened more quickly than if you set realistic, more achievable goals.
Think about how you want to feel when you achieve your goals, not just what it will look like to other people! That’s the best way to hone in on what you really want, not what you think you should want.
12. Getting it perfect.
To be successful, you need a certain level of humility. You need to be able to accept when things aren’t working, when to try a new path, and when to admit defeat with your approach and get ready for round 2 (or 3, or 4…)!
When you’re putting a lot on the line (your money, time, reputation, feelings), it can feel embarrassing or shameful to admit that something isn’t quite right.
Nobody wants to be the one who tried to make it and failed, right?
Well, successful people know that there’s no such thing as failure—it’s just rerouting! Rather than getting bogged down in how badly something went wrong, use it as an opportunity to find a new approach.
Maybe you pitched a new client and it didn’t go well—instead of giving up, accept that you didn’t get it quite right and find a way to make your next pitch better. Ask for feedback, gauge people’s reactions, and work out at which point of your pitch they started to disengage.
All this input can help you make the necessary changes so that you can get out there and try again with a new, improved plan.
It’s disheartening, of course, but getting things wrong shouldn’t stand in your way—it should just adjust the path you’re taking.
