Stop doing these things now for a happier future.
As we age, the shiny perspective we had as kids starts to wear off. We experience financial struggles, relationship breakdown, death, and all the other not-so-lovely things that go along with living a long life. And we often pick up unhelpful behaviors that make things worse. It doesn’t have to be all doom and gloom though. If you want to be happy as you get older, saying goodbye to these 12 behaviors is a good place to start:
1. Stop neglecting your health.
There’s nothing more valuable than your health. The quality of every other facet of your life hinges on how healthy you are physically, mentally, and emotionally. It’s pretty difficult to be happy when you’re chronically unwell. Can you be? Certainly. Is it much harder? Absolutely. So wherever possible, make choices that will nourish your body and mind, rather than feed off them.
2. Stop avoiding change.
The tides of life change. Sometimes you’ll be high, sometimes you’ll be low, but you’ll cause yourself so much suffering if you don’t learn to ride the waves. For example, let’s say you’re in a relationship you know isn’t right, but you stay because you don’t want to face a big change. That’s years you could’ve used to improve yourself, years both of you could’ve spent in a better-suited relationship and years you’ve spent accepting a life of unhappiness.
3. Stop holding on to the past.
The past is gone, done, and over with. Nothing you can say or do will change it. By living in the past, you deny yourself the chance to have a better present and a better future. So stop wasting your time wishing for days that are long gone, and focus on making a change right now.
4. Stop holding on to grudges.
Let’s be clear: we mean let go of mundane grudges. Like holding on to trivial arguments, miscommunications, or lost opportunities. Do they suck? Yes. Do they matter now? Probably not. However, if someone is terrible to you and causes lasting damage or trauma, that’s a matter that will need working through for you to let go, preferably with a licensed therapist.
5. Stop avoiding unpleasant emotions.
Some people want to deny negativity. They say, “Good vibes only” or “Look for the silver lining”. I say, “Toxic positivity.” Denying yourself the freedom to feel anger, sadness, and fear keeps you from healing and moving on from difficult situations. Instead, you suppress or bury them, which only delays the inevitable. Those unresolved feelings will be uncovered eventually, and then they have the power to sabotage whatever’s going on in your life at that point.
6. Stop avoiding the unknown.
It’s tempting to stay rooted in what you’ve always known because it feels comfortable. But comfortable doesn’t necessarily mean happy. Comfortable could mean staying in a terrible job or miserable relationship because you know what to expect. But nothing is truly ‘known’ because you can’t predict what others will do. Take matters into your own hands. Embrace the unknown and make a change. Few things are more tragic than living a miserable existence just because it’s familiar.
7. Stop living in your comfort zone.
People miss endless opportunities because they won’t step out of their comfort zone. If you want to experience more happiness, embrace your discomfort in more situations. Perhaps you want more connection but feel nervous about going to a social event – go anyway. Perhaps you have the opportunity to go to school but you feel intimidated – do it anyway. If you want something, don’t let fear hold you back. Amazing things rarely happen without some discomfort.
8. Stop pretending you don’t need help and support.
Being clever or capable doesn’t mean being self-sufficient. The most successful people identify the gaps in their knowledge, skillset, or capacity and ask for help when needed. This isn’t shameful, it’s sensible. Everyone has strengths, and everyone has things they find challenging. There are no exceptions to this. Utilize this by excelling in the things you find easy, and outsourcing or getting support with the things you don’t, and you’ll find life much more enjoyable.
9. Stop holding on to unrealistic expectations.
Do you think you’ll find that perfect job? Relationship? House? You won’t. Anything presented as perfect is carefully crafted to appear that way and isn’t based on reality. There’s no harm in finding your best fit, but by holding out for the unattainable you say no to opportunities for growth and happiness. Even if you do find that partner or house that ticks all your boxes, you may discover your idea of perfection isn’t everything you thought it would be.
10. Stop living aimlessly.
When you have nothing to aim for, life can feel like a pointless existence. Setting goals and aiming to achieve them gives your life purpose. Even ‘minor’ everyday goals, like clearing your to-do list, or saving for a vacation can energize you. Working towards something fuels you with drive, passion, and determination. It involves problem-solving, looking for new ways to do things, and taking risks. All of which translates into personal growth, ambition, and a healthier, happier you.
11. Stop neglecting your relationships.
When life takes over, it can be hard to find the time or energy to socialize. We’re fooled into thinking we’re maintaining relationships by forwarding memes or reacting with emojis, but socializing through a screen just isn’t the same. You can alleviate some loneliness from it, but the physical presence of a person provides psychological and physiological benefits you just don’t get through a screen. Don’t let life get in the way – keep those physical connections alive as you get older.
12. Stop resenting the aging process.
People fight and struggle to maintain their youth. Others limit themselves based on their age. Ok, you’re probably not going to climb Mount Everest at age 60 (unless you’re well-conditioned and athletic) but limiting yourself when it comes to self-improvement isn’t sensible. You’re probably in a better position to succeed at certain things now because you have more life experience. You won’t be able to do everything the younger you could, but there will be different opportunities open to you. There’s no shame in getting older. Many people are denied that privilege. So why not enjoy it.
