Fed up with having low self-esteem?
In the quest for personal growth and well-being, few goals are as important as growing your self-esteem. Self-esteem is a mirror that reflects back your perception of yourself. It’s how you think and feel about who you are and what you bring to the world. Here are 14 ways to build your self-esteem, along with a goal to set for each one.
1. Cultivate a gratitude habit.
Gratitude helps you focus more on the positives and what you have, rather than the negatives and what you don’t have. By cultivating gratitude, you can shift your opinion about yourself, improve your mindset, and alleviate some stress. This can be hard to do if life isn’t being kind to you right now. But that’s the most important time to do it.
Goal: Every day I will take a few minutes to think of three things that I’m grateful for.
2. Practice self-care.
Self-care is an important part of positive mental health, stress management, and overall wellness. Yet, it’s one thing that we often neglect in our fast-paced world. Self-care is a gift to yourself that reinforces in your mind that you are worthy of care. Do things that bring you peace, make you happy, and remind yourself that you are worthy.
Goal: I will schedule time at least once a week for at least two hours of self-care.
3. Develop boundaries and assertiveness.
Boundaries are essential for protecting your mental health. What do you do when someone talks you down or insults you time after time? You can’t just stand there and take it without it sinking into your subconscious. You need to be assertive, stand up for yourself, and ensure you are being treated fairly and kindly.
Goal: I will consider one social situation that does not make me feel good. The next time it happens, I will assert a boundary that, “This is not okay, and I will not be treated this way.” If they persist, you can then take the next step of remedying the situation.
4. Speak positive affirmations about yourself.
Positive affirmations are a reminder of your strengths and other good things about you. By reminding yourself of these things regularly, you can improve your thinking, attitude, and perception toward yourself. Replacing negative self-talk with positive affirmations goes a long way to helping improve your attitude and feelings about yourself.
Goal: Create a list of 10 things you do well, like about yourself, or other strengths. Every day, read the list and contemplate your positive qualities for five minutes.
5. Learn how to accept compliments.
Accepting compliments without deflecting and downplaying them subconsciously gives you permission to love and accept those things about yourself. “But it makes me uncomfortable.” If it does, then it does. You won’t get to a point of comfort if you don’t let yourself be uncomfortable. “What do I say? What do I do?” Smile and say “thank you.” That’s it. That’s all that’s required.
Goal: The next time someone pays me a compliment, I will simply smile and say thank you. I will allow myself to be uncomfortable if I am, because personal progress is usually uncomfortable.
6. Volunteer and give back.
Giving back can give you a sense of purpose because you’re making a difference to improve a situation for others. Pick something that appeals to you and get involved. It doesn’t have to be formal or major. It can be something as simple as visiting with an elderly neighbor so they have some company.
Goal: I will pick a cause or action that appeals to me and find a way to contribute at least once a month.
7. Express yourself creatively.
There are few things more fulfilling than creating something with your own two hands. Of course, different creative acts appeal to different people. But, whether it’s painting, gardening, writing, or carpentry, it’s healthy for you and your self-esteem to take some time to create.
Goal: I will pick a creative activity that I enjoy or once enjoyed. I will carve out an hour’s worth of time to do my creative activity once a week.
8. Surround yourself with positivity.
The people you spend time with dramatically affect your mental health. If you hang around with pessimistic people who tear you down, then you’re going to feel bad. If you spend your time with positive, uplifting people, you will find your thoughts are generally more positive.
Goal: Spend at least one hour per week with a positive friend or with a positive influence. If you don’t have any positive friends at the moment, do something that makes you happy instead.
9. Embrace failure as learning.
Failure doesn’t need to be a fatalistic end. You may find that failure leaves you feeling incompetent or less than. Instead, failure can serve as a valuable learning experience in what not to do to achieve a goal. A person can use that experience to look for another path that will get them closer to their goal.
Goal: The next time you experience a setback or what you would consider a failure, take some time to come up with three things that you learned from the journey. These things cannot be self-deprecating. Then, research and consider another path toward your goal.
10. Improve your physical health.
Physical and mental health are inseparable. Exercise encourages your body to produce more endorphins, raises your energy level, and helps you sleep deeper at night. Your body is a machine, and healthy eating provides quality fuel for that machine to run. Any steps you can take to improve your physical health is a win. Even small changes can net you big rewards.
Goal: Exercise three times a week for twenty minutes. This doesn’t have to be anything more serious than a brisk walk. The important thing is you are getting out there and getting some physical activity in.
11. Learn a new skill.
Choose a skill you’ve always wanted to learn and commit to improving it. The learning of a new skill facilitates personal growth and gives you smaller targets to work for. You should find that your opinion about yourself improves when you can say, “Yes, I did that. I’m doing this.”
Goal: Four days a week, spend at least one hour per day studying and practicing your skill. If you don’t know where to start, YouTube is a great place to just type in <skill name> beginner and start from there.
12. Celebrate personal progress.
Far too many people reach milestones and let them drift by as they look toward the next thing. They don’t take any time to celebrate their achievements, take a short break, and give themselves a pat on the back. You deserve that! That little celebration is even more important when you start meeting your goals because you reinforce that you are accomplishing things.
Goal: Build a small celebratory practice into each of your goals. For example, if you meet your exercise goal, treat yourself to a new movie or book.
13. Practice regular hygiene and upkeep your appearance.
Regular hygiene can bolster your self-esteem. It’s hard to feel good about yourself when you’re not clean, wearing clean clothes, and ready for the world. Plus, you might find others are down on you and avoid you if you don’t smell clean or brush your teeth regularly. Replace old, holey clothes with new ones that you can feel good in.
Goal: Develop a list of hygiene practices to follow week-by-week. Break the list down into days so you know what you’re going to do each day of the week.
14. Seek professional support.
The fact is that if you have low self-esteem, building it up is likely to require some professional help from a therapist. Low self-esteem often comes from somewhere; somewhere typically traumatic in nature. Trauma is not an easy thing to deal with on your own—you will likely need the help of a mental health professional and therapy to work through it
Goal: Attend each of your appointments when scheduled. Like working toward any goal—it’s simple but it’s not easy.
