Is someone playing mind games with you?
Some people love playing games – but how do you know if they’re doing it with you?
Whether it’s a friend, a partner, a family member, or a coworker, it can be tricky to tell what’s really going on sometimes.
If you think someone might be playing mind games, here are 12 signs to look out for…
1. You never know where you stand.
They constantly leave you wondering how they really feel and where you actually stand with them.
They might be very hot and cold, or sometimes suddenly turn on you for no apparent reason.
If you’re feeling confused and dejected, they’re probably trying to mess with your head.
2. You’re questioning yourself more.
Second-guessing yourself and the decisions you make is horrible – it makes you feel insecure and alone.
Someone might be playing mind games with you if they regularly make you doubt yourself.
Maybe they question you a lot, or lie to you, like saying one thing one day and the opposite the next, making you wonder if you’re making things up or if they’re just tricking you (this is known as Gaslighting).
3. They put you down, a lot.
Some people get a kick out of making others feel bad about themselves. This is a classic power play, and will leave you feeling insecure and shy, as well as confused and upset.
They might make rude comments about your appearance, humiliate you in front of your friends, or subtly bring up conversations they know will make you uncomfortable, just to prove a point.
Either way, it’s unfair and will leave you feeling pretty rubbish about yourself.
4. They try to turn others against you.
Have you noticed them talking badly about you to your other friends? Maybe they make a point of saying nasty things about you in front of others, or make things up to make you seem like the bad guy.
People who play mind games often get a weird thrill from isolating you from your loved ones, either subtly or explicitly.
5. They claim you’re a liar.
They might start telling other people that you’re a liar, or even falsely accuse you of making things up.
Maybe they’re trying to convince those around you that you’re not a nice person or that you’ve been complaining about them and are lying now when you say that you haven’t been.
This is a horrible situation to be in and you may feel as though you have to endlessly defend yourself and explain what’s really going on.
6. They make endless comparisons.
A more subtle mind game is continuously making comparisons between you and other people.
Maybe your partner tells you that your friends are way more fun than you on a night out, or they compare you to their ‘crazy’ ex whenever you have an argument.
Either way, you’ll be left feeling angry and upset, unsure of what’s really going on and why you deserve this.
You’re a wonderful person in your own right, so why do they need to endlessly compare you to others?
7. You always have to go to them.
One of the most common mind games, especially during dating and relationships, is when they force you to go to them every time.
They never text first or call you, they never suggest plans – instead, you’re the one texting and double-texting them; you’re the one almost begging to see them.
This can make you feel very rejected and unattractive. It’s confusing when someone is clearly interested, but will never be the first to come to you – and that’s exactly why they do it.
8. They regularly shut you out.
Do you feel like you’re just blocked from their life every so often?
If someone is regularly shutting you out, they’re doing it to confuse you and keep you guessing about what’s going on.
You’ll end up feeling upset and hurt that they don’t want to talk to you.
Sometimes, this is their way of ‘testing’ you to see how much you care and how far you’ll go to get their attention – it makes them feel important and attractive having you chase around after them.
9. They never let their guard down.
Maybe it’s always you opening up, starting to initiate deeper conversations about feelings – and it’s always them leaving you high and dry.
If they never reveal anything about themselves, you’ll probably be left wondering why they don’t trust you or what they want to keep hidden from you.
It can be upsetting and may make you question how genuine your friendship or relationship is with them – why don’t they want to let you in?
With this kind of mind game, you’re left exactly where they want you – vulnerable and desperate.
10. They try to make you jealous.
This is such childish behavior, and yet so many people do it!
One of the classic ways to mess with someone’s head is to try to make them jealous.
Maybe your friend has started posting pictures of herself with another friend on Instagram in the hopes you see it. Maybe your partner is flirting with other people or messaging their ex.
This kind of jealousy-inducing behavior will, obviously, leave you feeling jealous!
It’ll also make you feel pretty insecure and confused about what’s going on and why you don’t seem to be enough for them – and you’ll wonder why they would want to hurt you like this.
11. They’re secretive.
Someone acting secretive and suspicious is bound to get to you after a while. You’ll wonder what they’re keeping from you and why they’re being so weird about things.
It might make you question if they really like you, if your partner is cheating, or even if your friends are secretly meeting without you to gossip about you.
This kind of thing can make anyone feel insecure and paranoid – you’ll feel alone and you won’t know what’s going on, which is a horrible place to be.
12. Your gut is telling you.
Of course, if your gut is telling you that something is a bit ‘off,’ it probably is.
There might not be a definite behavior or explanation, but there’ll be something that makes you question if this person is just toying with you.
Mind games are unfair to play on anyone, so listen to your gut and try to move past this toxic phase.
