Someone probably doesn’t like you if you spot these signs.
All of us have had passing suspicions now and again that someone might not like us.
Sometimes this is due to social anxiety or awkwardness, and the suspicions are completely unfounded.
In other cases, however, we’re spot on. For one reason or another, this person just doesn’t like us. Their actions may be subtle or overt, but everything about our interactions with them paints a clear picture that we’re unliked.
Or maybe we miss glaringly obvious social cues that they can’t stand us. And that can be awkward—even humiliating—depending on how social situations unfold.
What follows are 20 different ways that people might tell you they don’t like you very much. Everyone will display behaviors in their own way, and there can be any mix-and-match combination of these depending on the individual(s).
1. They stop talking when you’re around.
You hear people chatting or laughing in another room, but they all fall silent when you enter. Whatever it was they were talking about was most certainly not for you to hear.
This can happen with roommates, family members, peers, or colleagues, depending on the social dynamics you’re involved in.
You’re made to feel like an outsider, and they’ll stay silent until you leave. Then they can get back to what they were discussing. Unless of course you decide to make yourself comfortable, at which point they will be the ones to get up and leave.
More on that later.
2. They don’t make eye contact.
Making eye contact is an intimate form of connection. The eyes really are the windows to the soul, and you can show a person that you care about them and what they’re saying when you make (and maintain) eye contact with them.
If they don’t look you in the eye when they’re talking to you, they’re letting you know in no uncertain terms that you’re not worth that kind of energy or effort.
Note: some people struggle to make eye contact with others for all sorts of reasons, so this sign needs to be accompanied by others to be sure someone doesn’t like you.
3. They avoid conversation with you.
This relates back to those who leave a space when you enter it so as not to be forced to interact with you. Quite simply, the person—or people—do everything possible to avoid a chat.
If you run into someone you know, they might flash a brief smile and then take off. If you find this happening a lot, consider asking people you’re actually friends with whether you’re doing anything that may be off-putting.
They may respond with, “Dude, your breath could knock out a mule,” or “Nobody wants to hear you yammer on about dinosaurs for hours, so they run off before you can start.”
Their responses might be hurtful, but if they encourage you to nip alienating behaviors in the bud, you may spare yourself a lot of discomfort and loneliness in the future.
4. If you do have a conversation with them, they’re not engaged.
Instead of asking questions about whatever it is you’re talking about, they’ll offer glib, empty responses like, “Cool,” or “Yeah, man.” They’ll look checked out, with their eyes unfocused and their attention quite obviously elsewhere.
They might also take the opportunity to change the subject as quickly as possible.
5. They don’t smile (or their smile seems fake).
When people smile sincerely, you can see it in their eyes too. In contrast, when someone who doesn’t like you very much smiles at you, their eyes remain deadpan. Even hostile looking.
Pay attention to the body language shown by a customer service rep who’s dealing with a belligerent client. Their voices might be friendly and they may smile brightly, but their eyes will be dull and flat.
6. They keep their arms crossed when talking to you.
This is a classic defensive gesture that screams, “I don’t want to be here, and especially not with you.”
Any teenager who’s receiving a talking to will adopt this attitude. If the person is seated, crossing their arms and their legs, everything about them is screaming that they don’t want to be there.
Additionally, people who are feeling defensive and are holding back from physical violence may have their fists clenched as well.
7. They put distance between themselves and you.
When we get along well with someone, we’re comfortable in their company. This is why you’ll often see friends or partners talking closely, or sitting with their legs folded over one another’s.
In contrast, if someone doesn’t like you, they put as much distance between the two of you as possible. This may include getting up and moving further away to another seat if you sit down near them, or backing away during a conversation.
8. Their feet are turned away from you.
This goes along with the previous signs. A person might not be putting actual physical distance between the two of you (yet), but the way they arrange their feet will speak volumes.
In fact, in both boxing and martial arts, one can often tell what their opponent’s next move will be by watching their feet.
If a person is standing with one foot facing you and the other one facing another direction entirely, then they’re already planning their escape. Furthermore, if both of their feet are turned away from you, then you have about five seconds before they take off running.
9. They have a wealth of excuses for avoiding you.
If someone doesn’t like you, they’ll try to avoid talking to you or spending time with you by any means necessary.
Acquaintances and family members who don’t like you might always have something else planned for the day/time that you want to get together. Or, if they do agree to plans ahead of time, something important will inevitably come up that prevents them from showing.
10. They’ll give you wrong directions or instructions.
If the person is really passive-aggressive and can’t tell you straight out that they don’t want to spend time together, they might give you incorrect information.
Like saying that you’re going to meet at the Pizza World restaurant on 1st street, and after you’ve been waiting for a couple of hours, they text and say that they’d meant 10th street.
11. They make a point of excluding you.
You aren’t invited to parties or after-work drinks. In fact, they might slip out together while you’re in the restroom so there’s no chance of you tagging along. If you do show up, they’ll make it known that you’re unwanted there by ignoring you or moving away.
Or you might see photos from an acquaintance’s birthday party/group vacation on social media, and feel left out because you never received an invitation.
12. They don’t text or message you back.
Rather like a potential crush who leaves you on “Read” without a reply, a person who dislikes you doesn’t make getting back to you a priority.
This is quite different from when an overwhelmed and busy friend doesn’t get back to you. In those cases, you’ll likely hear from the person eventually, along with an apology or explanation for their silence.
If they don’t like you, then they just won’t bother.
13. They belittle or make fun of you in front of others.
A classic behavior from someone who doesn’t like you is to put you down when you’re in a group of other people. For example, if you’re in school and a teacher doesn’t like you, they might make you feel like an idiot in class for not knowing the answer to a question.
Similarly, parents might announce one of your recent failures or humiliations to extended family members at Sunday dinner with the grandparents, or co-workers might make fun of your fashion sense.
14. They drop the ball and make no effort to pick it up again.
You’ll often see this behavior in parents who aren’t fond of their children, or spouses who checked out of their relationship a long time ago. They don’t bother to put any effort into spending time with you, celebrating achievements, nothing.
Did you spend months rehearsing for a play that you’re performing in? Don’t expect them to show up. Is your birthday coming up soon? It’s just another day; get over it.
15. If they have to get you a gift, it’ll be a crap one.
If they’ve actually remembered your birthday, then you’ll likely just get something they picked up at the last minute. “Happy birthday, here’s a vanilla-pine car air freshener” kind of thing.
Or, if there’s a workplace Secret Santa exchange for the holidays, they’ll just do the minimum of what’s necessary to fulfill the hideous obligation of doing something nice for you.
16. They deny you things unfairly.
If there’s a shared coffee or tea station at work, they might tell you to keep it to one a week so you’re not greedy. Meanwhile they have five cups of coffee every day without a whisper of guilt.
Grandparents might give you the smallest portion of dessert compared to your siblings, or give you ¼ the amount of money they offer everyone else during the holidays.
You might also be told that you can’t have something because of your tendency to break things (when you don’t), or that you can’t be responsible for it (even though you are).
17. They set you up to fail (and get even more irate if you succeed despite their best efforts).
Let’s say you have a job interview coming up and you let your family know about it. Out of nowhere, there might be an emergency that day, which requires your help to sort out. You miss the interview, and then your family members berate you for being irresponsible and unemployed. Gaslighting much?
Alternatively, if someone knows that you’re romantically interested in a person, they might tell said person that you have a serious STD or a violent temper to sabotage the possibility of you getting together.
If their behaviors don’t work, and you end up in a good place despite their efforts, they’ll often be irate about it.
18. They offer you backhanded compliments.
This is more of a female behavior than a male one. For a woman working in an office environment, a female coworker may say something like: “You’re so brave to wear that with your figure—I wish I had your confidence.”
In essence, they think you look terrible, but they choose to pay you a false, mocking compliment instead of making themselves look bad by insulting you outright.
19. They insult you outright.
In contrast to the passive-aggressive comments mentioned above, some people will just straight out insult you. These can range across the board, depending on who it is you’re offending by merely existing.
For example, if your mother-in-law doesn’t like you, she might make disparaging comments about your appearance or your cooking. If she really hates you, she might dump out the food you’ve made after a single bite and then offer to make something that isn’t disgusting.
20. They downplay your achievements.
You could graduate magna cum laude and you’ll be told the dean probably made a mistake. Are you in a relationship with a brilliant, gorgeous partner? There must be something wrong with them to want you.
You could win a silver medal at the Olympics and they’d criticize you for not winning gold. And how did they let you in to begin with? The standards must have dropped significantly…
