Does your partner put his phone ahead of you?
Phones are addictive – FACT!
They’re designed that way.
The bright colors on your screen and the beeps when you get a text or call are designed to give you a hit of dopamine – the happy drug.
It’s little wonder that many of us are obsessed with our phones.
Apps are designed to maximize emotional reward, so we want to use them more and more.
A phone brings many benefits, but a huge downside can be the effect it has on our interpersonal relationships.
Being plugged into our devices means we aren’t truly present in the moment.
We’re focused on maintaining virtual relationships with people that aren’t in the room, whether through email, Whatsapp, or Instagram likes.
We don’t give our full attention to those we’re actually, physically with.
Even if we’re meant to be in love with that person.
Whilst you might manage to keep your smartphone use to a healthy level, it takes two to tango.
Your partner being constantly plugged into a device can cause all kinds of relationship issues. You can easily start to feel like they value their virtual life more than they do you.
The feeling that you get when your partner snubs you for their phone, known as ‘phubbing,’ is a painful one, right?
If your partner is continually glued to their phone and you think it might be taking its toll on your relationship, these signs show that you really do have something to worry about.
1. They ignore you.
They’re so lost in their virtual world when they’re on their phone that they completely zone out. One would hope that they’re not consciously ignoring you when you speak to them, but they sometimes don’t seem to hear you at all.
2. It’s noticeable.
You’re not the only one who’s noticed that your partner seems to be glued to their smartphone. Their family or friends (or even worse, your family or friends) have made comments about it too.
3. They’re distracted.
They see no problem with flicking through Twitter or Instagram whilst they’re having a conversation with you or whilst they’re meant to be concentrating on something else or working. They don’t seem to realize they’re even doing it.
4. They don’t apologize.
It’s generally seen as common courtesy to apologize to someone if you’re having a conversation with them and need to check a message that’s come in. Your partner doesn’t think an apology is necessary.
5. They’re easily bored.
A side effect of our screen age is that we’re all constantly stimulated and can feel twitchy if we don’t get our phone fix. They get agitated whenever they’re not checking their phone.
6. They get separation anxiety.
They’re on their phone from the moment they wake up till last thing at night, and if their phone suddenly stops working or breaks, they’re disproportionately upset about it and nervous that they’re going to be missing out on something. This is sometimes referred to as nomophobia.
7. They can’t see the problem.
A problem recognized is a problem that’s on its way to being solved, but warning bells should be going off if they don’t seem to be aware of the fact that they’re addicted.
8. They get stressed by social media and emails.
All the time they’re spending on their phone is making them anything but happy. Social media means they spend their life comparing themselves to others.
Emails arriving at all hours of the day mean they’re always switched on and in work mode. Their bad mood gets in the way of your quality time.
9. You feel rejected.
If your partner seems to be consistently more interested in an electronic device than they do in you, it’s completely normal to feel hurt or rejected.
You often feel snubbed if they reach for their phone when you’re spending time together and that means feelings of resentment begin to bubble under the surface.
10. Your intimate life is suffering.
Your partner gets into bed and starts flicking through their phone which means they’re not thinking so much about cuddling and physical closeness.
A worrying number of people have even admitted to checking their phone WHILST they’re getting intimate with a lover, which is an especially worrying sign that your relationship is taking the brunt of their addiction.
11. They take refuge in their phone at awkward moments.
Whenever you start talking about the serious stuff or there’s an awkward silence, they reach for their phone as a kind of comfort blanket.
12. It’s the main reason you fight.
If it wasn’t for their phone habit, you don’t think you’d bicker at all, but you’re always having arguments that are technology-related.
