These signs indicate a man is insecure in relationships.
It can be tough trying to be with a man who is battling his own insecurities, and you should be prepared for the difficulties these anxieties could cause in a relationship.
But you should also believe that, with the right encouragement, you can be a positive influence in helping him deal with them.
Whether you’re dating someone new or you’ve had to live with his insecurities in your relationship for a while, read on to see what to watch out for.
1. He showers you with gifts.
This doesn’t sound so bad right? But a few thoughtful presents are very different to someone trying to buy your affection.
For insecure men, spending a lot of money can be a way of buying your love. When this happens in the extreme, you might start to feel indebted to them because of it and be made to feel guilty for any time you want to spend apart.
This isn’t a healthy start to a relationship. If they’re going over the top with gifts, show them you don’t need to spend a lot to have a good time together. They just need reassurance that it’s them you care about, not their bank balance.
2. He rushes things.
As flattering as it is when a man declares his love for you early on, beware of moving too fast.
He might be so insecure about losing you that he’s rushing into becoming too serious too soon in an effort to make you commit.
If he’s talking about your future together and telling you he’s in love, think about whether you even know each other well enough for this to be true.
There is nothing wrong with telling him you want to take things slow. Reassure him you’re interested but take things at your own pace. If it’s right, you’ve got forever, so what’s the rush?
3. He’s jealous of your friends or family.
If a guy you’re dating is making you feel guilty for spending time away from them, or questions your closeness with family or friends, it’s usually because they’re insecure themselves.
He sees other people as competition for your time and attention and will worry you prefer their company to his.
If things between you are going to work, you’re going to need the support and acceptance from friends and family. Pulling away from them for the sake of a man is never going to work in the long run, so find a way to bring them together and show him there’s no need to worry.
4. He stalks your social media.
Your social media should not be a tool for the man you’re dating to check up on you.
If he’s commenting on people in your posts or has an obsessive interest in them, he’s most likely insecure you’re having a better time without him and will meet someone else.
His insecurity might even come out as anger toward you for not posting more about the two of you, showing the world that you’re an item.
Hiding things from your social media or editing posts to make him happy isn’t a solution. This will continue to be an issue if you don’t address it, so find a way to deal with his insecurities together while maintaining your independence.
5. He picks fights with you.
He starts an argument with you every time you go for a night out on the town with your friends, convinced you’re out to meet other men.
This is a tactical approach, making you miserable and guilty for the time you spend away so that you eventually stop even trying to go out without him.
It’s manipulative behavior and comes from a need for control because he’s feeling insecure. He might tell you it’s because he loves you and misses you, but wearing someone down through arguments to make them bend to your will is not love.
6. He wants to spend all of your time together.
When you’re dating someone new, it feels like you could spend every moment together. It’s fun and exciting at first until he starts making you feel guilty about time apart.
He’ll start getting annoyed at you for not messaging him back when you’re out, or question why you’d want to spend a weekend away from him. These are signs of his insecurities, not your failings.
Time apart to concentrate on your own social life and interests is healthy for the both of you.
Making each other your only source of happiness puts too much pressure on your relationship. If he’s being clingy, try to find a way to readdress the balance before your relationship crumbles under the strain.
7. He compares himself to your ex.
An insecure man will find it hard to accept any ex of yours, in the fear that they were somehow better than him.
Him taking an abnormal interest in your past relationships or stalking through old pictures of you and your ex are red flags you shouldn’t ignore.
There is no place for a past relationship in a present one. If the man you’re dating is behaving this way, remind him to focus on what you have right now rather than worrying about the past.
8. He’s jealous of your success.
Whether it’s your success at work or believing the kids like you more, your partner’s own insecurities could be manifesting as jealously toward you.
You’ll notice that he takes everything personally, even things outside your control, and can’t ever seem to be happy for you.
Generally, it’s not so much about you as it is about him feeling stuck in a rut and lost with his direction in life.
Be the reassurance he needs and help him find the joy in what he has. He’ll start to remember that you’re each other’s biggest cheerleaders, not competitors.
9. He doesn’t respect your privacy.
Once you’ve been in a relationship for a while, the boundaries between what’s yours and his can blur. But this doesn’t mean you aren’t entitled to your own space and privacy when you need it.
If he’s insecure about you leaving him, he may feel as though he’s entitled to go through your phone, your messages, and your emails to check up on you. This is never ok, no matter how long you’ve been together.
If you don’t have trust in each other, you need to evaluate where your future is heading.
10. He thinks you have a hidden agenda.
You can’t seem to do anything right without him thinking you’ve done it to get at him, sound familiar?
If this is happening in your relationship, it could be that your partner is struggling with his own insecurities and ability to achieve.
These insecurities are making him paranoid that you are somehow sabotaging his chances of doing better.
We all know this isn’t the case and he’s looking for someone to blame for his own lack of direction. Encourage him to communicate his feelings and show him you can work together to make a positive change.
11. He’s indecisive.
When we say indecisive, we mean he can’t do a thing without checking with you first.
If he’s leaning too heavily on you for guidance, it could be a sign he’s lost trust in himself to make good decisions.
He might be feeling insecure in his abilities to look after you or your family, and has become too reliant on you being the decision-maker.
This puts more pressure on you to keep everything together, and eventually you’ll crack under this weight of responsibility.
Try to look for ways to rebuild his confidence in himself and encourage his decision-making.
