If You Have Any Of These 16 Traits, You're An Extremely Toxic Person

Are you toxic?

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Toxic: capable of causing serious harm to a person’s health and well-being.

There are certain behaviors that do nothing but drag you down, hold you back, and cause you (and others) to suffer.

They have the power to suck the joy and happiness from within you and replace it with stress, anger, sadness, and other unwelcome feelings.

Here are 16 of the most common and most destructive traits that signal you’re a very toxic person.

1. Manipulation Of Others

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Being manipulated is never an enjoyable thing and, when taken to the extremes, it can destroy a person’s sense of self.

Seen from the other perspective, it may seem like you can get more of what you want by exploiting others, but you are being deceived by the promise of external virtues.

Manipulating others can never provide the inner fulfillment that you desire because your gains are tainted by the grief and misery you inflict.

2. Lying

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All types of relationship are, to some degree, built on mutual trust which is why lies are capable of such destruction and heartache.

Honesty is not always easy, but it is generally the best option for your long term health and happiness. Even if the truth is going to hurt, it is better this than living a lie or having that lie discovered at a later date.

Lying to yourself is as much of an issue as lying to someone else; you will not find lasting peace if you deny who you really are.

3. Cruelty

A man and a woman are having a heated argument indoors. The man, with a distressed expression, gestures with one hand on his chest. The woman, appearing angry, is speaking emphatically with her mouth open, her hands gesturing animatedly. They are seated near a large window.

It can be all too easy to exhibit cruel and spiteful behavior when you are feeling insecure and under pressure.

Little slip-ups are quite understandable, but when you start relying on being mean to others in order to give yourself a lift, it can be incredibly detrimental to your life.

It is highly unattractive and can leave you isolated as others distance themselves from your malicious ways. It is also far less effective than more positive acts in making yourself feel better.

4. Selfishness

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Whilst you should not be a people pleaser, it is equally as detrimental to your mental welfare to act in a selfish and egocentric way.

Doing so only serves to drive people away, even those who may once have cared deeply for you.

Focusing on one’s own interest destroys trust and respect and leads to superficial relationships with other people.

5. A Sense Of Entitlement

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When you go through life believing that you are owed something, you will experience an endless sense of deficiency.

As lucky as most of us are to have clean water, a roof over our heads, and food on the table, there is no natural law stating a minimum standard of living everyone is entitled to.

You may desire to have more money, better living conditions and more lavish experiences, but you should expect to work hard for these.

6. Cheating

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With respect to both cheating on another person in the context of a relationship and cheating your way through other parts of life, neither will do you any benefit mentally.

Even if it is never discovered, you will always know that you cheated and it will weigh upon your mind for the rest of your life.

You may enjoy some short-term perks from it, but cheating in any form will haunt you.

7. Arrogance

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One of the main reasons we judge others is because we fall prey to our own arrogance.

Believing yourself to be superior or of greater importance to others is a trait that most people would describe as undesirable.

Arrogant behavior pushes people away, not least because it is often linked to a lack of compassion and the selfishness described above.

8. Being Overly Competitive

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One of the main roads leading towards arrogance is an intense competitive streak.

While not inherently bad or unhealthy, having a competitive side to you can sometimes cause fractious interactions with other people.

Take things too far and you become someone that many find hard to relate to.

You are also more likely to fall under the spell of perfectionism and then struggle to function when you encounter failure.

9. Jealousy

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When you feel jealous, you believe your enjoyment or possession of something is coming under threat from a third party.

You resent someone else gaining what you already have and this can manifest itself in spiteful attempts to deny them access.

This is distinct from envy, where you may not begrudge someone else’s enjoyment, but wish to experience it too (see the very first point on comparing yourself to others).

10. Blaming Others For Your Woes

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Things might not always turn out as you want them to, and there will be times when the whole world seems to come crashing down around you, but laying the blame at someone else’s feet will not make you feel any better.

Not only will you end up resenting that person, but by failing to take responsibility, you risk losing the meaning that self-determination can bestow upon your life.

If it’s always someone else’s fault, you begin to feel impotent and unable to choose your direction of travel.

11. Holding A Grudge

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When someone wrongs you, your instinct might be to hold it against them for a prolonged period of time.

What you might not appreciate is that as long as you are unable to forgive them for the harm caused, you are destined to carry it with you in your mind and heart.

The burden of harm will weigh more heavily upon you, and so the gift of forgiveness is one you give yourself.

12. Insincerity

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You have an important choice to make whenever you interact with the world: you can either be yourself or you can put on an act.

You may think that your true self is not what people wish to see and that you will enjoy greater success by hiding it away, but there is no genuine joy and peace in deceiving yourself and others.

When you act with sincerity, integrity, and honesty, you will find greater contentment and attract people who love you for who you really are.

13. Stubbornness and Inflexibility

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The world is a chaotic and highly unpredictable place which is why having an inflexible mindset can become a problem.

When your views and opinions grow rigid even in the face of overwhelming contradictory evidence, you end up living a lie.

Being stubborn prevents you from adjusting to a world that is changing all the time; if you aren’t careful, it will change beyond recognition and leave you feeling resentful.

14. Passing Judgement On Others

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You can only ever experience the world from your perspective, and while you are free to observe the actions and choices of other people, you will never be able to fully comprehend their reasons for them.

Thus, when you judge others for the way they live their lives, you are doing so despite having mere fragments of the wider picture.

You project your own experiences and beliefs onto them even though they are a poor substitute for the real circumstances.

Casting such judgements is more a reflection of you than it is of the other person.

15. Playing The Victim

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You may have been dealt some very undesirable experiences during your lifetime, but you should try not to allow a mindset of victimhood to develop.

No matter what the past has thrown at you, your present and future are, to some degree, in your control.

If you identify yourself as a victim, you will be more prone to act as one, and such behavior can hold you back from fulfilling your potential.

16. Attention Seeking

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Seeking the attention of others is rarely a healthy long term behavior.

If you allow the praise and amusement of onlookers to form the basis of your self-worth, you will never be able to enjoy the times when such attention is not forthcoming.

Your need to be at the center of things will become insatiable and you’ll end up going to ever greater lengths to get what you desire, but never quite getting it.