1. Don’t share personal information.
A classy person resists the oh-so-human urge to share the intimate details of their life, be they factual or just problematic.
You’ll never catch them talking about how much they earn, for example, and the details of their hemorrhoids will mercifully stay where they belong – tucked away out of sight!
2. Don’t spread or listen to gossip.
Being able to reveal some juicy nugget of information about an acquaintance or a work colleague is a surefire way to be part of the ‘in’ crowd.
And listening avidly to someone else telling tales means that you’re on the inside track, satisfying the human need to belong…
But only in the short term, because no one trusts a gossip.
Respectful people have no interest in this poor behavior and will always turn a deaf ear to gossip, no matter how intriguing the tales may be.
This makes them trustworthy allies. It’s why they tend to keep their friends while others pay the price for gossip-mongering as their friends desert them.
3. Don’t judge others.
Judging is something that a classy, respectful person would never do.
How many times have you made a snap judgment about a new acquaintance’s personality or circumstances and had to do a quick U-turn when you’ve got to know them better?
It’s so much simpler, kinder, and classier to refrain from the urge to judge in the first place.
4. Don’t push your opinions onto others.
The loudmouth who constantly pushes their often controversial views on every conversation is never popular.
These opinions are delivered whether they’ve been asked for or not – usually not.
The mark of a polite and classy individual is to hold back from forcing their own thoughts onto others.
Yes, of course, if asked they will share their opinions, but they’ll be open to different ideas and to having a balanced discussion.
They’ll never insist that you convert to their way of thinking.
5. Don’t brush over important issues.
Some people will do anything to avoid the awkwardness of a conversation with someone who’s recently bereaved or whose relationship just imploded or who has endured some other personal trauma.
The respectful, on the other hand, will find a way to raise the matter sensitively as soon as possible to avoid prolonging the embarrassment or upset as the unfortunate sufferer waits anxiously for the thorny issue or tragic event to be raised.
It’s never an easy thing to do, but it’s so much kinder to acknowledge the upset in the lives of our friends or colleagues rather than ignore it. Classy people respect this.
6. Always express your thanks.
Showing sincere appreciation for a gesture, a gift, or hospitality is at the top of the list of things that classy folk do.
You won’t find them firing off a one-liner by email or text to say ‘thanks.’
Neither will they assume that their friend or relation will just ‘know’ that they had a good time or appreciated the gift because they muttered a few words to that effect.
No, a respectful individual will always take the time to write a few words on a card and send it the old-fashioned way by snail mail. Or they’ll say thank you in some other meaningful way.
In reality, this takes little time to do but is so much more heartfelt in showing true appreciation. Your stock will go up hugely in the eyes of the recipient, for sure!
7. Put others at ease.
When faced with a potentially awkward moment, a classy person will always find a gentle and appropriate way to diffuse any stiffness, shyness, or worry in others.
They will go out of their way to minimize any discomfort felt by others for whatever reason.
You need to be empathetic to spot such a situation and this is another common quality of the respectful individual.
8. Be an attentive listener
You won’t catch a respectful person glancing at their watch while you’re talking to them or, worse still, looking over your shoulder to see if someone more interesting or ‘useful’ has entered the room.
Neither will you see their eyes glaze over mid-conversation. And as for casually checking their phone for social media updates while you’re talking? Never!
Classy people are adept at ‘active listening.’
Not only do they show their full attention by maintaining regular eye contact, but they’ll also nod or smile and utter the odd affirmative, so the speaker is confident to continue speaking.
If the subject matter doesn’t thrill them, you’d never know, as they’re also adept at redirecting the conversation with such subtlety that you won’t even notice.
9. Let people talk about themselves
An extension of the active listening technique is the respectful person’s ability to ask intelligent and relevant questions about you.
Let’s face it, it’s usually our favorite subject.
If someone lets you talk for ages about your achievements or the ups and downs in your life and really appears to be interested, then it’s a great conversation, right?
It’s only when you’re basking in the glow of having enjoyed the interaction with that super-nice individual, that you’ll realize you know almost nothing about them while they’ve heard your life story.
10. Don’t forget names.
This is an obvious one. We all know it’s good manners to address others by name (the right one!).
Some of us blame a poor memory for our failure to do this, but, in truth, it isn’t that hard to pay attention when introductions are made.
It’s also okay to ask again if you didn’t quite catch the name the first time. Better that than be caught out when you have to introduce that person to someone else and you just haven’t a clue.
You’ll probably have noticed that the unfailingly respectful person will repeat your name back to you in the course of the conversation.
It’s not a tactic to be over-used as it can be irritating, but a useful tool to drill a name into your memory nonetheless.
