10 Things Making Your Partner Extremely Moody And Difficult

Want to know why your partner seems so moody?

A woman with long blonde hair is sitting next to a man with short dark hair. She appears frustrated or upset, gesturing with one hand. The man has his head in his hands, looking down. They are indoors, with bookshelves blurred in the background.

Coping with a moody partner can be tough on a relationship. When your spouse’s mood is constantly changing, you can feel as though you’re walking on eggshells, never quite sure if you’re going to cause an argument or not.

This feeling of uncertainty can stop you fully committing to your relationship and enjoying it.

But why are they being like this? Let’s look at some potential reasons.

1. They’re stressed.

A man in a blue plaid shirt sits beside a distressed woman with blond hair on a couch. He has his arm around her and his hand on her knee, offering comfort as she holds her head in her hands. They appear to be having a serious conversation.

Stress can show itself in a number of different ways. Sometimes, you might realize your partner is stressed even before they’re able to articulate it themselves, just by noticing a change in their behavior.

Being stressed is distracting, and if you’ve noticed that your partner is short-tempered with you or moodier than usual, it could be because they’re too wrapped up in thinking about something else that’s worrying them.

The situation is causing them anxiety, and you’re the unfortunate person suffering the brunt of their unhappiness.

Rather than lowering yourself to their behavior when they snap at you, try to support your partner when they are stressed by giving them the space they need without pressuring them to open up to you.

Instead of getting frustrated and hostile, let them know that you are there for them when they are ready to talk. They’ll come to you in their own time if they know that you are there to support them, no matter what.

2. Their energy is low.

A woman with long brown hair, wearing a white top and pink pants, sits on a couch gesturing with her hands up, looking distressed. She is talking to a man with short hair wearing a light blue shirt and beige pants, who is facing her with his back to the camera.

If your partner is grouchy and difficult to be around because of their mood swings, it could be because of a change in their energy levels.

We can all be rude and snappy if we haven’t had enough sleep or are low on energy because we’re hungry or emotional. Sometimes we don’t realize how bad our moods have become until we take time to rest and recuperate and get back to our normal selves.

If your partner is being moody, it might be because they aren’t monitoring their energy levels well enough. Instead of losing patience with them, ask them if they are eating and getting enough rest, and if they are prioritizing their own mental and physical health.

You might need to remind them to look after themselves a little extra right now and get them back on track before you start to notice a positive improvement in their mood.

3. They need some attention.

A man and a woman are having a tense conversation indoors. The man, wearing a red shirt, gestures with his hands while speaking, and the woman, in a yellow sweater, looks away with a troubled expression. They are standing in front of shelves with various decorations.

Just like little kids do, your partner could be acting out because they want some attention.

Perhaps they don’t know how to verbalize their emotions, and instead of admitting they’re feeling ignored, they’re getting annoyed at you for forgetting them, which is making them moody.

It might not seem natural to be affectionate toward someone who always seems to be angry at you, but that could be all it takes to melt their frosty exterior.

Your partner is pushing you away because they’re feeling hurt by your apparent lack of attention. Even if you feel as though you haven’t been doing anything wrong, try to accept that they just miss you and need you to show that you care. Once you do, they’ll start returning to a happier version of themselves.

4. They have something on their mind.

A man sits at a table with a distressed expression, resting his head on one hand. A bottle and a glass of liquor are in front of him. In the background, a person stands with arms crossed, partially visible from the chest down. The scene appears tense.

When you don’t know how to talk about a problem, sometimes the easiest option to show that something is wrong is to cause a scene.

The weight of having something on their mind that they want to talk to you about could be causing your partner’s passive-aggressive and moody behavior.

Although it may seem counter-productive to be aggressive and unpredictable in order to get a response from you, your partner might not fully realize what they’re doing. They just know that they need to talk to you and are causing the catalyst for a much bigger conversation.

Rather than get angry at them for their mood and any hurtful things they’re saying or doing because of it, ask them what’s causing them to feel this way. You might uncover the real reason for all their ups and downs and find a way to put a stop to them for good.

5. Their hormones are affecting them.

A woman with blonde hair, looking distressed, sits on a couch with her hand on her forehead. A man sits beside her, with a concerned expression, resting his hand on her shoulder in a comforting gesture. The background is softly blurred.

It’s not that easy to recognize if and when you have a hormonal imbalance. In a normal monthly cycle, women can go through huge fluctuations because of their hormones, which can affect their mood much more than people realize.

It’s not just a menstrual cycle that can affect hormones; age, stress, and medical issues can also take their toll, making it difficult to be self-aware when these hormonal surges happen. If your partner is particularly moody, it could be that they are unknowingly suffering from these effects.

The good thing about the effect of hormones is that they will pass eventually. It will just take your patience and understanding as their partner to ride out the worst of it or encourage them to get the help they need from practitioners who can offer useful advice.

6. You have an unresolved argument.

A man and a woman are having a serious conversation on a couch. The man, with a serious expression, is gesturing with his finger, while the woman is gesturing with her hands, appearing to explain or argue. A lamp and a textured white wall are in the background.

Even if an argument is over in your mind, if you haven’t actually agreed with your partner that you’ve both put the disagreement behind you, there could be some lingering resentment affecting your partner’s mood.

Your partner might not agree that one of your recent arguments has been resolved and so can’t help but take their frustration out on you in a passive-aggressive manner. Sweeping a problem under the rug might be enough for you, but not for them, leaving them still waiting for an apology.

Their moodiness is an indication that something is still wrong. Until you face them about it and ask them directly, neither of you will be able to move on to build a healthier and happier environment for your relationship.

7. They aren’t getting enough sleep.

A man with a frustrated expression sits at a desk, staring at a laptop screen. He rests his head in his hands, with elbows on the desk. In the background, there's a board with sticky notes attached. A pen holder and some papers are on the desk in front of him.

Not getting enough sleep can have more of a negative effect on your mood than you realize. Tiredness can hugely impact someone’s mood and if your partner has erratic mood swings, the solution could be as simple as them needing a good night’s sleep to sort them out.

If they’ve been struggling with insomnia, or just not prioritizing their rest, then they could be pushing themselves to the limit and be unable to handle their emotions in the same way they normally would. Encourage them to put their own well-being first, and to make time to switch off and reset.

8. You’re making them worse.

A woman with blonde hair and a blue shirt sits in the foreground looking thoughtful and slightly distressed, while a man in the background sits at a table with his head in his hands, appearing frustrated. Both are indoors with sheer curtains in the background.

You might think that your partner’s moodiness is all down to them, but have you checked your own behavior to make sure it’s not you who’s causing the problem?

Even if you don’t mean to, you could be bringing their moodiness on yourself by teasing them too much or not prioritizing quality time together.

Your partner could just be reacting to how you’re making them feel, so make sure you’re being kind to each other before you lay all the blame on them.

9. They don’t know how to be any different.

A woman with a bun leans her head on her hand, looking distressed. A man in a blue shirt stands in front of her, gesturing with his hands as if explaining or arguing. The atmosphere appears tense. The background is indoors with neutral colors.

Think about the role models your partner has had and if their mood swings remind you of anyone you or they know.

If your spouse grew up in a household surrounded by people who acted in the same way, who didn’t articulate their feelings but instead took out their frustration on their partners, then they could just be modeling their behavior on people they know.

If they haven’t been around a stable household or ever been shown that it’s good to check in with themselves and make their own happiness and health a priority, then they might not think to do that. It will be up to you to show them how to be more self-aware so you can share a more positive relationship going forward.

10. They’re trying to manipulate you.

A man stands close to a woman, with his arm raised and hand against the wall, looking down at her. The woman looks up at him with a serious expression. The scene suggests a tense or confrontational moment.

Be careful that your partner’s moodiness isn’t a sign that they’re trying to manipulate you with toxic behavior.

Watch out that their mood swings don’t correlate with the times that you stand up to them or don’t give in to their demands. Their behavior could be purposefully designed to make you uncomfortable and push your boundaries until you crumble and give them whatever they want.

They’re trying to knock you down and manipulate you because they know that if they make life uncomfortable enough for you, you’ll cave in the end. This isn’t how a healthy, equal relationship is supposed to look, so make sure that if this is you, you start to stand up to them more forcefully and face them about it, head on.