12 Cringe-Worthy Behaviors That Scream Desperation

Are you coming off as desperate?

A young woman with long dark hair sits outdoors at a table, smiling and looking to her right while talking on a mobile phone. She is wearing a light pink sweater, and the background is softly blurred, suggesting an urban setting with buildings and greenery.

Most people want to be liked by others. That’s a fact of life.

But when you put your need to be liked, praised, or loved above your dignity and self-respect, that’s desperation. People can sense this need, and either consciously or unconsciously, will use it to their advantage.

Perhaps you don’t even realize you’re doing it. If not, here are some signs to look out for.

1. You drop everything for people.

You make yourself too available to people, even if they’re not interested in you.

We’re not saying you shouldn’t be there for people when they really need you, but the keyword here is “really.”

If you’re always “just a phone call away” and are ready to drop everything for them, you’re probably coming off as desperate.

2. You do too many favors too often.

Two women are looking at a computer screen and smiling. One is wearing glasses and a white top, while the other is standing and holding a file, dressed in a blue top. They appear to be in an office space with colorful posters on the walls.

Do you always try to tend to people’s every need and obey their every request?

Doing too many favors too often will just make you look desperate and like you have nothing better to do, especially if they didn’t ask for them.

Ask yourself, has this person ever done anything for you that’s even remotely close to what you do for them? If the answer is no, you might want to question why that is.

3. You don’t set boundaries.

A woman with long hair sits cross-legged on a wooden floor against a plain white wall. She is wearing a denim jacket, jeans, and an orange top, with one hand raised in a stop gesture, her expression serious, conveying a clear message to halt or stop.

You probably often feel used, but the problem is you aren’t setting healthy boundaries.

People who are desperate for love and attention don’t set (or enforce) boundaries for fear of rejection.

But you can’t blame a person for disrespecting your boundaries if you never communicated them. It’s best to set boundaries early on in the relationship, but the most important part is to stick to them.

4. You give compliments all the time.

A man in a business suit shakes hands with a woman in a white shirt in an office meeting room. Several colleagues in the background, seated at a table, smile and look on. The room has a large window, light-colored walls, and various office materials.

Do you shower people with compliments and attention whenever you get the opportunity to do so?

You probably think it wins people over. Everyone likes being complimented, right?

Yes, it’s nice to be nice, but drooling over people just makes you look desperate and maybe even creepy.

5. You don’t value your time.

Three women in a modern studio engage in a lively discussion. One leans against the table holding a glass, another sits while pointing at papers, and the third stands with a drink. The workspace is adorned with fashion sketches, fabric swatches, colorful clothes racks, and flowers.

Does it feel like people take you for granted? They probably do. People don’t respect your time because you don’t respect it either. You come running as soon as people call.

Of course, if you’re not busy and someone needs you, be there for them. But remember your time is yours. People won’t appreciate your time if you give it away too easily.

6. You let people use you.

Three men are gathered around a tablet, engaged in discussion. One man, holding a glass of water, is talking; another is tapping on the tablet screen, and the third is smiling while holding a smartphone. They are indoors, near a large window.

You give away your time, energy, and money without asking for anything in return. And as a result, people take advantage of you.

Yes, you should give these things to your loved ones and friends, but only if they are reciprocating. They don’t have to give you exactly what you’re giving them, but they have to show that they want to make you happy and are interested in you.

Otherwise, you’re just giving them permission to use you.

7. You don’t stand up for yourself.

Two women are having a conversation outdoors near an urban overpass. One woman, with blonde hair, is wearing a blue long-sleeve shirt and has her arms crossed. The other woman, with curly hair, is wearing a red sleeveless top and dark pants, and is gesturing with her hands.

You find it hard to say “no” and as a result, people usually push you around. You need to stand up for yourself and speak your mind, no matter how much you want someone to like you.

Don’t let others push you into situations that you don’t want to be in. Learn to say no and be assertive and confident.

8. You’re too quick to invest in people.

Two men are sitting at a wooden table in a bar, each holding a beer bottle. The man on the left, looking distressed, has his head resting on his hand. The man on the right is comforting him with a hand on his shoulder. A plate of nachos is on the table.

You likely give anything to people as soon as they show you a crumb of attention and affection.

Don’t do this.

If you want to come off as less desperate, be slow when investing in people. Take your time to learn more about them and get to know their flaws before concluding that they’re the one you want to invest in.

That’s right, it’s not just them deciding whether they want to be with you. You should take some time to decide whether you want to be with them too!

9. You put other people above self-respect.

A woman in a casual outfit is vacuuming the floor with a yellow and silver vacuum cleaner in a living room. In the background, a man in a denim jacket and jeans is sitting on a light blue sofa, eating snacks and watching her. The room is modern and bright.

You don’t put your dignity and self-respect above your need to impress others.

You don’t kick people out of your life if they disrespect you or repeatedly ignore your boundaries. You might occasionally threaten it, but you never follow through. And they know you’re bluffing as a result.

10. You let others take control of the relationship dynamic.

A man and a woman are sitting in a cafe, engaged in a conversation. The woman, wearing a yellow sweater, appears distressed or frustrated, with her hands raised to her face. The man, in a dark sweater, looks at her attentively. The background is decorated with shelves and plants.

You let friends, family, or love interests set and control the dynamic of the relationship. If they want you to be their partner, you’ll be their partner, if they want you to be their friend, you’ll be their friend, if they want a casual relationship, you’ll be in a casual relationship.

It’s like you’re fine with whatever you get, but you secretly keep hoping to get what you really want. Don’t hope, demand. If you know what you want, and what the person is offering is not that, don’t settle for it!

11. You don’t prioritize yourself.

Two women sitting on a couch. The woman on the left, wearing a yellow sweater, gently rests her hand on the arm of the woman on the right, who looks distressed, wearing a white sweater and holding her hands near her face. The woman on the left holds a pink mug.

Your wants and needs always come and the bottom of the list.

You think that this gains you admiration and attention, but you fail to realize that you must prioritize yourself to have the respect, appreciation, and intimacy that you crave.