If Your Wife (Or Girlfriend) Has Any Of These Traits, She's Extremely Toxic

15 Signs Your Wife Or Girlfriend Is Toxic

A close-up of a woman with shoulder-length blonde hair smiling at the camera while hugging a man with short brown hair and a trimmed beard, who faces sideways. The woman wears a striped shirt, and both appear to be in a casual indoor setting.

Does she make you feel like you’re not good enough, no matter how hard you try to please her?

Maybe her toxicity is obvious and transparent, but it could also be subtle. The best way to know whether you’re in a toxic relationship is to reflect on your feelings.

How does it feel to be in this relationship? How does your girlfriend/wife treat you?

Maybe you already know the answer.

If not, keep reading as we discuss all the signs that you need to look out for.

1. She is manipulative.

A young woman with long dark hair sits outdoors at a table, smiling and looking to her right while talking on a mobile phone. She is wearing a light pink sweater, and the background is softly blurred, suggesting an urban setting with buildings and greenery.

A lot of people are at least a bit manipulative, and it’s a skill that can come in handy in life sometimes. However, manipulating your partner to the extent where they believe lies and even start doubting their own sanity is called gaslighting.

Your partner doesn’t have to gaslight you for her manipulative techniques to characterize her as a toxic person. If she’s ready and willing to lie to you to get you to do what she wants, it’s already enough for her behavior to be considered intolerable.

If you often find yourself doing, saying, or thinking things that you wouldn’t if it wasn’t for her, you may have been manipulated into doing so.

2. She is controlling.

A young woman with long brown hair and blunt bangs stares intently at a person who is partially visible from behind. The background is blurry, suggesting an outdoor setting. The woman's expression is serious.

Many people can get a bit controlling when they fall in love… But, it’s an entirely different story when your wife or girlfriend wants to constantly know your whereabouts while deciding what you can and can’t do.

For instance, maybe she tries to isolate you from your other loved ones or makes decisions for you. She needs to know where you are, who you’re with, and what you’re doing. She decides what you do with your time, who you get to spend it with, and maybe even which career you should pursue. That’s controlling behavior that creates toxicity and can even harm your mental health.

3. You’re in a one-sided relationship.

A woman with a thoughtful expression rests her chin on her hands, while a man sitting next to her leans his head on her shoulder and places his hand on her upper arm. They appear to be in a comforting and supportive moment.

She just takes and takes and takes, but gives little to nothing back. You’re the only one who’s investing your resources into this relationship while she gladly drains you and gives nothing in return. Whether those resources are efforts, time, energy, love, or money, she takes it without reciprocating.

Instead of putting effort into the relationship, she is self-centered and sees you as an extension of herself whose only purpose is to fulfil all her wishes and meet her needs. This is called a one-sided relationship, and it’s your cue to run for the hills before you get left with nothing.

4. She doesn’t support you.

A man wearing glasses and a checkered shirt sits with his hands clasped under his chin, appearing distressed. A woman in a green sweater sits beside him, looking concerned and gesturing with her hand. They are indoors with a window in the background.

Instead of supporting you and giving you what you need to flourish, she diminishes your growth. She would rather have you serve her needs than encourage your growth, and that’s a clear sign of toxicity. She’s not there for you when you need her, and she doesn’t support your passions. Maybe she doesn’t even show an interest in the things that you’re passionate about.

All in all, she’s unsupportive of your dreams; she might even be pulling you away from them, and that’s not okay.

5. She always criticizes you.

A man and a woman sit on a gray sofa in a living room with green plants in the background. The woman, wearing a beige sweater, appears to be speaking emphatically, gesturing with her hands. The man, in a blue denim shirt, looks pensive, resting his head on his hand.

You can’t seem to do anything right according to her. She constantly criticizes you and everything you say or do. Even when she says something nice about you, there’s always a “but” which leads to what’s wrong with you.

You need to realize that this criticism has a very negative effect on you, and you shouldn’t try to justify her behavior. If she makes you feel unworthy of her love, she is not good enough for you, not the other way around.

She probably also threatens to leave you whenever you don’t let her harm your self-esteem, and that can’t be tolerated!

6. She makes ultimatums.

A man sits on the floor with his head in his hands, appearing stressed or upset. A woman sits on a couch in the background, looking contemplative and not facing him. The scene depicts tension or conflict in a domestic setting.

Sometimes, ultimatums are necessary and can work, but this is on very rare occasions. Usually, they are just a Hail Mary people use to get their way. As mentioned earlier, your toxic partner probably threatens to break up with you when you don’t listen to her and do what she says.

This is very wrong, and it’s a sign that she’s manipulating you into doing whatever she wants while giving you nothing in return. She threatens to end the relationship as a way to keep controlling you, and you shouldn’t allow it!

7. She wants all your free time.

A man in a blue t-shirt plays a video game using a controller while sitting on a bed. Behind him, a woman with curly hair and in a striped shirt sits slightly turned to the side, looking away with a neutral expression. The room is bright with white decor.

In a way, she treats you as if she owns you. She is possessive. She wants you to spend all your free time with her, and she wants you all to herself. Instead of encouraging you to spend time with your loved ones, work on yourself, and dedicate time to your hobbies and interests, she wants you to serve her needs instead.

She doesn’t like it when you spend time with other people; she wants to be your top priority and the only important person in your life. If you let that slide, you might really end up with no one but her, and you might even lose yourself, so don’t let it happen.

8. She uses the silent treatment or guilt trips to punish you.

A man stands close to a woman, gently holding her shoulders, looking concerned. The woman faces away, pressing her hands to her temples, appearing distressed or deep in thought. They are indoors, next to a large window with soft daylight filtering in.

When she gets upset, she doesn’t communicate with you. Instead, she gives you the silent treatment and expects you to figure things out on your own. This is something some people do, and it might be justified in certain cases when the person really can’t talk about what’s bothering them or if they feel very misunderstood.

However, purposely ignoring someone is abuse. Even using it in the previous example isn’t healthy for your relationship, let alone when it’s used as a weapon against you. She could also use guilt trips to get what she wants, and this is just another manipulative toxic technique to control you.

9. She can’t trust you.

A man in a red sweater sits on a gray couch, engrossed in his smartphone. A woman with long blonde hair and wearing an orange blouse leans over from behind, seemingly curious about what he is looking at. Shelves with books and decor are in the background.

It’s very difficult to have a healthy relationship when your partner doesn’t trust you and even doubts your feelings for them. If your wife/girlfriend is insecure and can’t believe that you care about her despite your efforts to show her, then she has trust issues that need to be addressed.

Maybe she often thinks that you’re dishonest or she has the need to track your every move in order to make sure that you’re not cheating on her.

Trust issues are a serious problem that should be discussed with a therapist in order for you to have a healthy relationship. Otherwise, you’ll constantly have to reassure her and give her explanations that aren’t necessary.

10. She depends on you too much.

A close-up of a couple. The woman with curly hair is leaning her head on the man's shoulder, smiling gently. The man, also with dark hair, is looking downward with a soft expression. They are indoors, and the background is softly blurred.

Your partner might be emotionally dependent on you to the point where you’re afraid of how your words and actions could trigger her. She is needy and relies on you for happiness and fulfillment as if she is not a complete person without you.

This makes you anxious, and you can’t be yourself around her because you have to be careful not to affect her in a negative way. A relationship like that can be exhausting, and it will drain your energy. This type of emotional dependency is something that you need to talk about with a therapist.

11. She doesn’t appreciate you.

A woman with blonde hair sits, smiling up at a man wearing a green sweater. He is handing her a wooden breakfast tray with two glasses of orange juice on it. They are indoors with a shelf and some home decor visible in the background.

No matter what you do, it’s never enough. She doesn’t appreciate you and what she has with you. Instead, she compares you to other people and wishes that you could be one of the couples she sees in the media.

In some cases, this could be interpreted as ambition and lead to growth. However, in the case of a toxic wife/girlfriend, she’ll never be satisfied, even if you do achieve the goals that she sets for you.

She won’t appreciate your efforts even if you do everything according to her wishes, and this leads to chronic toxicity. You don’t feel cared for, and she doesn’t acknowledge your efforts to show her love as you continuously work on your relationship.

12. She doesn’t give you any privacy.

An elderly couple in festive sweaters sits on a couch in front of a decorated Christmas tree. The man, wearing glasses and a red sweater with reindeer, is talking on the phone. The woman, in a white sweater with red snowflakes, is smiling at him.

Toxic partners usually show no respect for your privacy. They will go through your phone whenever you leave it out of sight and go through your search history on your computer. She might demand to know your passwords or even hack your social media to read your messages.

Not giving you any privacy goes even beyond this. She will want to know everything and won’t respect your need for privacy and alone time. You basically won’t get to have a life outside of the relationship.

13. She always has to be right and win the fight.

A man and woman are sitting on a gray couch in a modern living room, having an animated conversation. Both have raised hands and expressive gestures, indicating a heated discussion. The woman holds a tissue, and both appear emotionally engaged.

A toxic wife/girlfriend won’t ever admit that she’s wrong. She will either avoid all conflicts or engage in them purely for the purpose of winning the argument. Since she has to be right, she will focus on proving her point instead of solving the problem.

When proving you wrong is the only reason she fights with you, your fights are toxic, and your problems will keep damaging your relationship. Talking to a therapist can help improve your conflict resolution skills, but if your partner refuses to try therapy, one of those fights will likely end your relationship, so she will lose even if she wins.

14. She always keeps tabs on everything.

A woman with blonde hair wearing a striped shirt sits at the edge of a bed, looking distressed and holding her forehead. In the background, a man with dark hair leans back, propped up on the bed, appearing to be in a reflective or troubled state.

Keeping scores is very damaging to a relationship, and a toxic wife/girlfriend usually does this. She keeps tabs on everything and isn’t willing to give anything unless she gains from it.

She counts how many times you did or said something and uses these things against you to prove you wrong. Because of this, the nice things that you do and say lose their value and become a weapon that’s used against you.

15. She wants to fix you.

A couple sits in a sunlit restaurant, holding hands across the table. Both are smiling and engaged in conversation. They have plates with food and glasses of red wine in front of them. The ambiance is bright and cheerful with large windows in the background.

You are supposed to be her partner, not a project she’s working on. It’s okay when someone wants to help you grow when it’s what you want too. However, trying to “fix you” is a whole other thing, which probably means that she doesn’t love you for you. Women often hope that their men will eventually change, but this rarely happens.

Even if you do need to change, you don’t need unsolicited advice, and it’s your choice who you want to be, not hers. Unless you’re fine with her helping you a bit, fixing you is just a part of the toxic control that she’s trying to establish.