Women with these 15 traits make terrible girlfriends (and wives)

Avoid women with these traits.

A woman with short blonde hair and large floral earrings looks at the camera, while a man with medium-length brown hair in a blue striped shirt leans his forehead against hers. They are outside, with greenery in the background.

It’s not always obvious at the start that you’re getting into a relationship with a woman who’ll make a terrible partner. Her toxic traits might be subtle or they may stay hidden at the start of a relationship. Or you may be so blinded by the initial rush of excitement that you miss the early red flags.

But be warned, if you notice any of these 15 traits, she’s likely to make a terrible girlfriend (and wife).

1. She always has to get her way.

A woman with dark hair in a ponytail, wearing a blue and white checkered shirt, appears frustrated and gestures with her hand. A man with a beard, dressed in a light blue shirt and carrying a shoulder bag, stands facing her, partially out of focus.

It’s her way or no way. She always has to get what she wants, when she wants it, and exactly how she wants it. When this doesn’t happen, she throws a tantrum even if it’s something insignificant. She is uninterested in hearing your opinion and basically expects you to fulfill her every wish and listen to her every command. Because of this, it’s not just that your relationship is unhealthy and under her control, but you can’t even communicate properly.

2. She is dishonest.

A young couple sits closely in an outdoor setting. The man, dressed in a white sweater, is turned towards the woman. The woman, with long hair, is wearing a black hat and a white sweater, and she gazes directly at the camera. The background is a field of tall grass.

Obviously, a partner who regularly lies to you is toxic, and you should definitely consider ending such a relationship. She will be deceitful and maybe even won’t be loyal to you. She’ll probably expect honesty from you, while frequently coming up with fake excuses and lies about anything and everything.

Someone who can’t be honest with you isn’t someone you can have a relationship with. Even if it starts as small fibs, it is likely to grow into pathological lying. And never underestimate the psychological effects of being lied to and whether this relationship is worth the potential damage to your mental health.

3. She doesn’t meet your needs.

A young woman with short red hair and freckles gazes directly at the camera, wearing silver hoop earrings. Beside her, a man with blonde hair is in profile, appearing to be close to her face. The background is blurred and neutral-toned.

Her needs are the only ones that matter, while you’re left to take care of your own. She won’t ever meet your needs or even pay too much attention to them. While she expects to be a priority to you, she won’t give anything back when it’s her turn to take care of you. You are left feeling neglected and uncared for, which might even be the reality of your relationship.

4. There are double standards in your relationship.

A woman with long blonde hair, wearing a light pink t-shirt, rests her arms on a wooden table while looking to the side. In the background, a man in a plaid shirt stands with his arms crossed, appearing out of focus. The setting is a bright room.

She is allowed to do things that you are not. There are double standards in your relationship, which could apply to anything.

Maybe it’s okay that she goes out every weekend, but you can’t even meet your friends for coffee. Perhaps she always expects you to initiate things, or you’re in charge of all the work around the house while she does nothing.

Double standards are not fair, and shouldn’t be tolerated. You can try setting boundaries and making compromises, but if she’s not willing to budge, these double standards might doom your relationship.

5. She can’t maintain a long-term relationship.

A man and a woman are standing in a dense forest. The man, in a black shirt and jeans, faces away, while the woman, in a black top and shorts, looks to the side. The forest background is blurred with tall trees and green foliage.

No one wants to be with a terrible partner for a long time. Even if someone falls in love with her, once they become aware of her negative traits, they will either leave or the toxicity will doom the relationship. So, a woman like this probably hasn’t had real, serious, long-term relationships.

She likely went from one short-term relationship to another, all the while complaining about the people she’s been dating as if they’re the problem. If she badmouths all of her exes, she is oblivious to the fact that she is likely the problem, not the people she’s been seeing. And when your relationship eventually ends, she will most certainly talk badly about you.

6. She is unsure about the relationship.

A young man and woman are sitting on a bench in a park, each holding an ice cream cone. The woman, wearing a white shirt and blue skirt, looks at the man with a serious expression. The man, in a light gray shirt, appears to be speaking to her. Trees are in the background.

This might not be a sign of a terrible partner, but she is unsure whether she even wants to be with you, and it’s a big problem. She doubts that you can make it work, so she puts no effort into the relationship. She might even have already broken up with you in her head and now expects you to put all the effort into making it work while she’s looking for an exit strategy.

While this might not be exactly toxic behavior, it’s definitely bad behavior that you didn’t deserve from her. If she is unsure about your relationship, she should talk to you about it and see if you can find a way to work things out together. Instead, she stonewalls you when you want to talk about it and doesn’t even let you know that your relationship is already ending.

7. She withholds intimacy/emotional support to punish you.

A woman sits on a couch looking away with a concerned expression, while a man behind her places a hand on her shoulder, appearing to speak to her. The background shows a staircase and a lamp on a side table, creating a homey atmosphere.

Sure, sometimes, when a woman is upset, she won’t be willing to give you emotional support or any kind of intimacy. That’s reasonable. What’s not is when she, again, purposely uses these things as weapons to control you.

She will stonewall you when you want to talk to her and withhold these things until you figure out what’s wrong and how to fix it, instead of communicating about it. It’s important to note that intimacy doesn’t happen only in the bedroom. Your partner might frequently become cold and distant as a way to punish you even if you have no idea what you did to deserve it.

8. She has drastic mood swings.

A woman holding a white mug looks away with a concerned expression while a man touches her shoulders reassuringly. They are standing in a modern kitchen with a white refrigerator and small appliances visible in the background.

In the case of a terrible girlfriend, drastic mood swings are not about PMSing or hormones, it’s a part of who she is. Her mood will change quickly and drastically without a clear reason, or she will be in moody as soon as you do or say something that she’s not okay with.

For instance, she could freak out because you said that you should try counseling or that her behavior has been causing you stress and you wish to work things out. When you calmly discuss something and she becomes short-tempered, it’s a red flag, unless it’s hormone-related. It’s not much of a relationship if you feel like you always have to walk on eggshells around her and can’t be yourself.

9. She hurts you.

A woman wearing a red sweater with a frustrated expression and raised hands is talking to a man in a striped shirt. The man, sitting beside her, has a troubled look and is staring downward. The setting appears to be indoors with a plain background.

She doesn’t spare you when she chooses her words. She says hurtful, demeaning things and she even purposely does it to cause you pain. She talks down to you, shames you, criticizes you, and makes you feel bad about yourself most of the time.

So, the big question is, why are you still sticking around? If she makes your life a living hell and isn’t willing to work on it, it’s a much better choice to end the relationship than to let someone treat you so negatively.

10. You can’t be yourself around her.

A woman with blonde hair points her index finger at the nose of a bearded man with dark hair. They are both facing each other with serious expressions against a black background. She wears a pink knit top, and he is in a light blue button-down shirt.

As already mentioned, you feel like you must walk on eggshells around her and can’t be yourself. This is a clear sign that you should reconsider dating her, even if she is not a terrible person.

Maybe she doesn’t really like you for who you are and wants you to be different, or she controls you to the point that you can’t express your feelings.

Perhaps she has mental health issues that could be worked on with the help of a therapist, but if you can’t be yourself, your best bet is to leave the relationship.

11. She puts you down in public too.

A woman with an expressive face gestures with her hands while talking to a man who looks surprised and confused. They are sitting at a wooden table in a cafe with drinks in front of them. The man wears a plaid shirt, and the woman wears a striped blouse.

As if it’s not enough that she talks down to you in private, she puts you down in public too. She shames you and mocks you, especially when there are other people around who can hear it. This is a very bad way to treat someone, especially someone who you supposedly love.

Unless you set clear boundaries and she learns to respect them, you shouldn’t tolerate this behavior for a second longer, especially if you already tried talking about that problem and she continues to put you down.

12. She can’t see things from your perspective.

A close-up of a woman with long dark hair looking contemplative and touching her neck. In the background, a man in a blue jacket stands with his back to the camera, and a blurred, rocky landscape stretches out under a cloudy sky.

She lacks compassion and empathy, so it’s hard for them to see things from someone else’s perspective. She can’t put herself in your shoes. Even if she is willing to hear your side of the story, she can’t understand it.

Most likely, she doesn’t even care about your feelings and thoughts enough to listen, let alone try to understand things from your perspective. This makes it impossible for you to communicate properly and resolve conflicts, so it will likely doom your relationship.

13. She has jealous outbursts.

A woman with long brown hair and red lipstick rests her hand on the shoulder of a man with short brown hair, who is facing away from the camera. They are outdoors, with blurred green foliage in the background.

Another typical sign of someone who will make a terrible girlfriend (and wife) is extreme jealousy. She’s not only jealous of other women, but anyone you give your time and attention to—maybe even your own family.

When it comes to other women, the smallest things will cause her to have jealous outbursts. She frequently makes a scene over something that doesn’t mean a thing, such as talking to another woman in a polite way, without even innocently flirting.

If she goes through your phone (and she probably will) she will find a message to another female that will make her go crazy, even if it’s just a coworker that you’ve been talking to politely.

14. She is abusive.

An older woman with short blonde hair is angrily pointing a finger and yelling at an older man. The man, with graying hair, appears distressed, holding his hand to his forehead. They are in a light-colored room with a plant hanging in the background.

It should go without saying that women who are violent and/or abusive make terrible partners. We usually talk about men when it comes to violent and abusive behavior, but women can do these things to men just the same. And, no, it’s not normal for a woman to hit you. Her behavior coule be volatile and unpredictable and if so, you may fear for your safety at times.

Even if she doesn’t physically hurt you, mental and emotional abuse is still abuse and it shouldn’t be tolerated.

If you find yourself in an abusive relationship, don’t try to fix things, just leave it. You did not deserve to be treated that way, and an abusive partner won’t stop hurting you just because you show them more love. In fact, they might see it as permission to hurt you even more.

15. She doesn’t make you happy.

A man and a woman sit on stools in a modern kitchen while holding hands and looking at each other. The woman has blonde hair and is wearing a striped shirt and jeans. The man has dark hair and is wearing a white t-shirt and jeans. A bottle of wine and glasses are on the counter.

This woman might depend on you for her happiness, but she does nothing to make you happy. She doesn’t care about your feelings enough to try to put a smile on your face, and this means that she is either toxic or has no love for you.

In either case, it’s worth considering ending this relationship before it gets too serious and finding someone who will give you the love that you need and deserve.