Do you still love your spouse?
If you’ve been with someone a long time, you’ll no doubt face your fair share of ups and downs. It may even seem like there are more downs than ups sometimes.
When that happens, it’s not uncommon to question whether you even still love them.
You may start to doubt the feelings you once had.
But love changes over time and it doesn’t always look how it used to in those early honeymoon days.
That doesn’t make it any less powerful though. Keep an eye out for these subtle signs your love is still going strong, even if it’s not always obvious.
1. You trust them.
You’re comfortable opening up to your partner about your biggest fears and dreams, and you trust that they will understand and keep your secrets without judging you. You feel safe with them and you’re not afraid to show your vulnerable side.
They feel like home to you. They are warm and familiar, and you’re sure that they would never betray your trust.
2. Your love doesn’t have a lot of conditions.
Loving someone means acknowledging and accepting their flaws. At the beginning of a new relationship, people tend to idealize their partner, but truly loving someone is different than being “in love.”
Your love doesn’t have many conditions, and you probably accepted some things about them that you may not have done with someone else. When it comes to your partner, the good outweighs the bad.
3. You appreciate the little things that they do for you.
Everyone likes grand gestures, such as those in romantic movies. But when it comes to real love, you appreciate even the tiniest things that they do for you, and you don’t ask for more.
It’s the small things that matter when you’re in love, and that’s often the difference between love and infatuation.
4. Something always reminds you of them.
When you’re in love, every song is about them. Every movie is about your love, and every poem is written for the two of you.
A piece of clothing, the smell of perfume, the restaurant where you once went, the song that was playing when you danced together, the taste of champagne that you were drinking the first time you met. These things take you back in time and fill you with fond thoughts.
5. You try to make them happy.
You love to see that beautiful smile of theirs. and it’s even better when you are the cause of it.
You make them laugh and share inside jokes that only the two of you get.
You want to make them happy, take care of them, and be there for them.
6. You want to help them.
You want them to live up to their potential and be the best person that they can be.
You want to grow with them and see them grow on their own. Your love motivates you and you want what’s best for them.
7. You empathize with them.
You will feel strong empathy for the person you love. We don’t always know why we fall in love, but we know that it makes us feel compassion for the other person. You care strongly about them and often mirror their emotions.
You are happy for them when they are happy, and it bothers you when they’re sad, so you try to cheer them up or at least offer a shoulder to cry on. You always want to make them happy, and you understand their perspective, or at least try to.
When something is happening to them, whether good or bad, you feel like it’s happening to you too.
8. You feel safe in their arms.
You feel at home when you’re with them and safe in their arms when they hold you. You’re sure that they would be there for you no matter what, and their hug always helps when you’re feeling blue.
They take care of you by doing little things for you, and you appreciate that. You know that they would never hurt you on purpose and that they would help you and protect you if needed.
The point is, you know that this person is always on your side and that you can trust them no matter what. They would do anything for you, and you would do the same for them.
9. You feel more capable with them in your life.
Love makes you feel good and happy to be alive. Knowing you have them in your life makes everything seem a bit easier to manage.
Even though you go through tough times together, you know deep down that having them in your life makes it better, not worse.
10. You are afraid of losing them.
You’re not afraid of being single again or getting hurt, you’re afraid of not having this person in your life because they mean so much to you.
When the two of you fight, you want to find a way to resolve things.
When you think about whether your life would be better without them in it, the answer is quick and clear.
11. You love them despite their flaws.
You may have once thought they were flawless, but now you know better.
You love them in spite of that though.
You know they aren’t perfect, but neither are you.
12. You’re always thinking about them.
Ok, so maybe you’re not thinking about them in that romantic way you once did. It might be more about the logistics and practicalities of your everyday lives, but still.
They may no longer be the first thing you think about when you wake up in the morning and the last thing you think about before you go to bed. But if you broke it down, you’d probably realize you still spend a large amount of your day with them on your mind.