Is someone showing they are jealous of you?
Jealousy is a common emotion, albeit an unattractive one to witness. Jealousy is not just an emotion—it leads to an array of behaviors that reveal said emotion if you’re aware enough to know what to look for. Here are 12 red flag behaviors that signal someone is majorly jealous of you.
1. They offer backhanded compliments.
When someone is jealous of you, the compliments they offer you are laced with criticism. You can generally tell a backhanded compliment when you can’t be sure if it is genuine praise or a put-down. In normal circumstances, the distinction between praise or a put-down is crystal clear.
2. They undermine your achievements.
It’s common for jealous people to try to “knock you down a peg.” They downplay or dismiss your success. They may also say that your achievement is not that big of a deal, you got lucky, or someone else just did you a favor. All so they don’t feel so bad about not achieving the same thing.
3. They start imitating you.
A person who is jealous of you typically wants what you have—that could be in your personal life or your professional life. Since they want a piece of what you have, they may start acting like you to try to outdo you in your areas of success.
4. They gossip about you.
Gossips spend their time causing and stirring drama. If the person is a gossip, they will talk behind your back, create drama, and spread rumors or negative comments to others. Their goal is to make you feel worse about your accomplishments, make it harder for you to succeed, or make it harder for other people to see your value.
5. They turn everything into a competition.
It’s exhausting to deal with someone who is locked in eternal competition. They may constantly try to one-up you, even in the most pointless of ways. You may be experiencing this if you can’t see a reason why it would matter that they claim a victory—they just want to win for the sake of being “better” than you at something.
6. They don’t offer support.
Even if a person isn’t personally invested in you, they are still likely to offer you a congratulations or a word or two of support for your accomplishments. However, a jealous person isn’t likely to offer any support. And if they do, it’ll often be accompanied by an eye roll or laced with sarcasm.
7. They negatively criticize you or your work.
There is a big difference between negative and constructive criticism. Constructive criticism may sound negative, but it is given in the hope that the receiver will use it to improve. Negative criticism is only about tearing you or your work down. If you feel bad about it, it may just be negative.
8. They exhibit passive-aggressive behavior.
Passive-aggressive behavior is a way for someone to express their distaste without direct confrontation. It offers plausibility for them to say, “Oh, I didn’t mean it like that…” Except they do mean their sarcasm, snide remarks, backhanded compliments, and subtle jabs.
9. They exaggerate their own success.
Jealous people must steal the spotlight from you in some way. Instead of acknowledging and celebrating your success, they will try to turn the conversation around to their own achievements. They may even embellish their stories to seem more impressive than you.
10. They may try to exclude you from groups.
Social isolation is a way for the jealous person to control the flow of information. They may try to push you out of social circles to make you feel left out or excluded. That also gives them the opportunity to influence the group’s opinions about you.
11. Their attitude may shift rapidly.
A person who is jealous of you and trying not to let it show is suppressing a lot of emotions. Jealousy itself is an emotion, as is anger. That person may be doing their best to cover up those two emotions, but they will leak through sooner or later. They may be friendly to you one moment, but then hostile or cold to you the next.
12. They may offer inappropriate advice.
Bad advice is one way that a jealous person may try to sabotage your success. Instead of helping you, they give you advice and information that is likely to knock you off course. And you may not realize that until further down the road when you’re suffering the effects of it, unfortunately.