Don’t settle for the wrong reasons
It’s entirely normal to want a relationship—to form a partnership with someone special you love and who loves you back.
But as with most things, the desire to find a partner can go too far.
When you want a relationship that badly, it can turn to desperation. And desperation can make you get into a relationship for all the wrong reasons.
Here are 12 of the worst reasons to start a relationship, that strong, fierce women would never settle for. And neither should you.
1. Loneliness.
Being single can get lonely. Sure, you might hold it together during the day, but at night, you fantasize about having someone to cuddle with. This is a totally normal human need.
However, strong women make sure that “someone” isn’t just anyone at all. Don’t settle for anyone just to avoid loneliness.
2. Because everyone else is in a relationship.
What if everyone you know and meet seems to be in a relationship? It can feel terrible to always be the third wheel if all your friends are coupled up.
Strong women don’t use this as justification to start substandard relationships though. They simply befriend more single people (but don’t ditch their coupled-up friends).
So expand your social circle, and understand that your friends are going to be in and out of relationships just like you are. It probably just seems like you’re the only single person in the world because you’re focusing so much on your relationship status.
3. Pressure from society, family, or friends.
When are you going to get married and give us grandsons? Let’s face it, family members can be awful at putting pressure on you when you’re single.
You may even feel societal pressure to commit to someone as soon as possible. You may feel like an outcast just because you’re single, and even your friends may be pressuring you into a relationship.
Don’t let them get to you. Peer pressure can be strong, but you are stronger!
4. To start a family.
A lot of single people want children, and they are eager to find someone who is father material.
We don’t need to tell you that having children is a big deal. It’s normal that you want to start a family one day, but don’t let this be your only motive for getting into a relationship.
You may force yourself to date and obsess over getting into a relationship as soon as possible because you feel like your biological clock is ticking. Relax, and breathe. Strong women do not settle for raising kids with any old person they can get their hands on.
5. Emotional support.
Things would be easier for you if you had a partner you could rely on for your emotional needs and support.
However, you know you can find motivation and validation internally, instead of externally, because you’re strong and independent.
It’s certainly nice to have someone to support you during difficult days or while you’re chasing your dreams, but it’s not a good enough reason to get into a relationship.
6. Rebound.
Maybe you’re struggling to get over your ex. You recently had a nasty breakup and you think that a rebound relationship will help you heal.
Am I meant to be alone? You could be torturing yourself with thoughts like this after a breakup, and you think that having someone around will make the heartache less painful.
Take advice from strong women: let time do its thing. Slowly move on by yourself so that you can form healthy relationships once you’ve healed.
7. To get back at your ex.
Is your ex already in a relationship with someone new?
Or maybe you want to get back at your ex because you’re mad at them. Maybe they cheated or broke your heart in another way, so you want to punish them.
Or perhaps you’re just trying to make your ex jealous because you secretly want them back.
Whatever the reason, you know deep down that this is not a good reason to start a relationship. So, stay strong. Don’t go there.
8. Boredom.
Let’s face it, not having a partner can be boring. Sure, you have family and friends, but you also have a lot of free time in your schedule that would otherwise be set aside for dating someone.
Be strong. Use this time to work on self-improvement and indulge in self-care rather than obsessing over your relationship status.
9. Financial reasons.
Being in a relationship can pay off, literally. Maybe gifts are your love language, and you love being taken to a fancy restaurant and receiving expensive jewelry.
Or maybe you’d simply like someone to split your rent with because the bills are piling up. Hey, two incomes are better than one, right?
However, you shouldn’t get into a relationship for financial reasons. We’re not debating whether it’s morally right or wrong, but it’s not a healthy foundation for a serious relationship.
10. Fear of staying single.
Maybe you believe you are hard to love and think that you’ll never find love. You think that maybe love is not meant for you and that you’ll stay single forever.
But the odds are you are going to get into a relationship eventually. It doesn’t have to happen right now, so stay strong and don’t force it out of fear of staying single.
11. Feeling incomplete.
A lot of people want a relationship so badly because they don’t feel complete without a romantic partner. Ugh.
Your life can be fulfilling when you’re single, and it’s unhealthy to expect another person to complete you.
While this notion may seem romantic and sweet, in reality, being overly dependent on another person is never a good thing.
You can’t rely on anyone else for your happiness, and you need to give your own life meaning, regardless of your relationship status.
12. Safety and security.
A lot of people want a relationship because it brings them a sense of safety, stability, and security. However, a relationship is no a guarantee of a happily ever after.
Relationships aren’t always stable and safe. Problems happen, people break up, get back together, get married, and get divorced.
This is not to say that there’s no happily ever after, it’s just that relationships are complicated. You can’t expect them to be smooth sailing all the time.
Finally…
There is really only one right reason for wanting a relationship: the desire to share your time with a person that you connect with and can grow with in the future.
The key point here is having a specific person in mind, not being generally in love with the idea of a relationship.
Be strong. Wait to fall in love with someone before seeking a relationship, and until then, accept and enjoy your single status.