If you see these signs, they probably won’t commit to you.
Have you ever been with someone who gives you mixed signals? One day, they could be talking to you nonstop and planning future dates with you, while the next day they will completely ignore you. Not only is this incredibly frustrating, it can leave you wondering if they are as interested in you as you are in them. If you’re trying to figure out if you should stick around, here are ten signs that may indicate that your partner isn’t going to fully commit to you.
1. Communication with your partner is inconsistent at best.
When you’re in a relationship—especially if it’s a newer one—it’s natural to want to be open and honest with your partner, not only to make sure you’re both on the same page about something, but also to foster a deep connection. If you find that texts or calls to your partner remain unanswered for days on end, or that they don’t seem focused on you when talking in person, this could hint that they are hesitant to deepen the relationship.
2. They avoid conversations about the future like the plague.
Does your partner immediately scramble to change the subject whenever you mention future plans, like a vacation or even something as simple as a weekend outing? Or instead of making a concrete plan, they’ll make a vague promise to you saying it’ll happen “someday”? If so, this is a sign of a lack of commitment towards you. Commitment involves planning, and if they’re not willing to set out plans for the future with you, then they are likely not envisioning a long-term relationship with you.
3. They are emotionally unavailable.
A telltale sign that your partner won’t fully commit to you is if they are emotionally distant or unwilling to talk about their feelings with you. Open and honest communication, especially about each other’s feelings, is crucial for any successful relationship. If you feel like there’s a wall around your partner that you can’t knock down, or they never want to open up to you about their thoughts or feelings, they may not want to fully invest themselves in the connection you share.
4. Your partner doesn’t know basic things about you.
You may think you and your partner know each other like the back of your hands, but if you really want to be sure, ask them to answer some simple questions about you. Do they know when your birthday is? Do they know what your favorite color is, or how you take your morning coffee? If they can’t even answer those questions, they probably never planned on committing to you.
5. They use noncommittal language.
If your partner’s actions have you confused about whether they truly want to be with you, try paying attention to the words they say whenever you’re around them. When you ask them questions about any future plans—not just your relationship—do they frequently answer with phrases like “I’m not sure” or “We’ll see what happens”? If the answer is yes, consider that a sign; a partner who is committed to you wouldn’t use language that shows reluctance to do so.
6. You haven’t met any of their friends or family.
Sure, if the two of you just started dating, there isn’t a huge rush to go and announce your relationship to the world. But if you’ve been together for several months and they haven’t introduced you to their friends or family, this is cause for concern. When someone is sure that they want a person as their partner, they would want to introduce their partner to their friends and family as a way of blending their lives together. If not, this could mean that they are still not sure about you, or worse, they’re sure that they don’t want to be with you.
7. They only give you attention when they want something physical.
Picture this: you’ve had a rough day at work, and on the way home, a car drives through a huge puddle and splashes you. You reach out to your partner for a shoulder to cry on, but…no response. But the next day, they text you some suggestive emojis and ask you to come over. This should be a no-brainer sign that your partner is only interested in a physical relationship with you.
8. They’re keeping their options open.
Obviously, if you’ve only been on one date with this person, don’t delete all your dating apps or change your relationship status right away. However, if you’ve been seeing your partner for some time, yet they are still chatting with potential matches on Tinder, Bumble, or Hinge, take it with a grain of salt. Unless you’ve had a conversation with your partner about seeing other people until you are exclusive, this is usually a sign that they are not ready to fully invest in you.
9. They told you so.
Sometimes, if someone doesn’t want to commit to you, they will be honest and tell you that they are not looking for anything serious. If the person you want to be with tells you this, believe them. It may sound like they are trying to play hard-to-get, but if you take their word as a challenge to try to change their mind, you will only end up getting hurt in the long run.
10. You know it deep down.
It can be incredibly easy to feel so strongly for someone that you get caught up in your emotions and neglect to listen to your initial instincts about someone. But no matter how deeply you may feel for your partner, if you sense that something’s not right, pay attention to it. If your gut is telling you that the person you’re seeing is unlikely to stick around, there’s a reason you’re feeling that way.