10 Behaviors That Leave You Feeling Unloved By Your Partner

Are these things making you feel unloved?

A woman with long dark hair stands by a window with her arms crossed, looking pensive and away from a man in the background who has his hands on his hips, appearing frustrated. The setting looks like a bedroom with soft lighting.

To be loved and to feel wanted is one of our most basic human needs, no matter what type of relationship. However, even in the healthiest and most fulfilling relationships, there are certain behaviors or patterns that can create emotional distance and make us feel the exact opposite. To avoid feeling unloved by your partner, here are ten things you can look out for and address with them.

1. A lack of communication.

A woman with curly hair and a pensive expression sits on a couch, propping her head with one hand. She wears a red shirt and a necklace. In the background, a man in a plaid shirt and jeans also sits on the couch, looking away. The mood appears tense.

You may have heard it before, but it’s true—the foundation of any successful relationship is open, healthy, and honest communication. But communication issues between you and your partner are bound to arise at some point. Your partner may think that not talking about their feelings or concerns is the easy option, not realizing that it causes you to feel isolated or to question your importance in their life.

2. Neglecting quality time.

A woman sits on a cushioned, wicker sofa with her hands covering her face. She appears distressed, wearing a sleeveless top and striped pants. The room has a neutral-toned, textured wall with a patterned pillow on the sofa, creating a subdued atmosphere.

Face it, life can get pretty hectic. From heavy workloads at our job to never-ending family obligations at home, it’s easy to let quality time with your partner slip away. But when your partner starts to prioritize work or other commitments, it can lead to feelings of unimportance or that your needs are secondary to other aspects of their lives.

3. A dismissive attitude.

A woman sitting on a couch raises her hand to signal stop, turning her head away from a man who appears to be talking to her. She looks upset, while the man, wearing a yellow shirt, gestures with his hands, seemingly trying to explain or communicate something.

Picture this: you and your partner live together, and you ask if they wouldn’t mind washing the dishes after you finish making dinner. They forget to do it that night, but when you ask them again throughout the week, they ignore your request. Though something like washing the dishes may sound minuscule, this is an example of your partner brushing off your feelings and opinions. This can not only feel invalidating, but it can also make you feel like your input does not matter to your partner.

4. Inconsistent affection.

A woman and a man sitting on a kitchen counter, both facing forward. The woman has her arms crossed and looks away with a stern expression. The man has his hands on his lap, leaning forward slightly, looking down. The atmosphere appears tense.

Affection is a crucial aspect of a relationship that makes us feel desired. Perhaps you have tried taking the initiative to be physical with your partner by wearing lingerie, sending flirty text messages, or touching them often or more tenderly. Sadly, they have not got the hint or are simply not interested. In this case, you might be questioning whether their feelings for you are genuine.

5. Constant criticism.

A woman with her hand on her temples appears distressed in the foreground, while a man with raised hand gestures is seated behind her. The background shows a living room setting with blurred furniture.

Have you ever felt like no matter what you do for your partner, it’s never the “right” thing? Perhaps they frequently make fun of the outfits you wear when you’re with them, or they talk down to you about your career goals, your hobbies, or your interests. If your partner doesn’t make an effort to accept you for who you are, this could create an environment where you feel unappreciated and unwanted by your partner.

6. Lack of support.

A woman with long hair, wearing a pink sweater and a watch, rests her head on her hand while sitting on a couch, looking thoughtful. A blurred person in a checkered shirt sits in the background. The scene appears to be indoors with soft lighting.

Everyone experiences good days and bad days, and when we experience days that are not so great, it’s natural to go to your partner to vent to them or to use them as a shoulder to cry on. But if you find that they frequently push you away whenever you go to them for support, this could trigger feelings of abandonment or isolation. Even worse, it could make you think that they don’t care about you at all.

7. Failing to celebrate milestones.

A woman with blonde hair and a serious expression sits at a kitchen counter, resting her chin on her hand. A man with graying hair sits next to her, looking pensive with his hand supporting his face. Both have coffee mugs in front of them.

Whether it’s a birthday, an anniversary, or an important stage in your relationship like moving in together, celebrating milestones helps to strengthen the bond between partners and to show each other how much you care. However, if you notice that your partner forgets significant events or chooses to brush them off as “no big deal,” this could cause you to question how important you are in their life.

8. Exclusion from their life.

A woman with short blonde hair and a blue shirt appears sad while sitting outdoors. In the background, a man wearing a dark shirt and jeans walks away on a path through a green, leafy park.

While you and your partner may spend a lot of time together, it’s important to remember that you are both individuals first. Engaging in your own hobbies and interests means you don’t lose sight of yourselves while in a relationship. But if your partner takes this to an extreme by not introducing you to their family or friends, or not including you in social events they attend, it could give the impression that you are an afterthought in your partner’s life.

9. Stonewalling.

A close-up of an older couple. The man is in the foreground, looking contemplative with his hand near his temple. The woman is slightly behind him, with her hand gently resting on his shoulder, looking at him with concern. Both are wearing casual clothing.

Does your partner shut down whenever you argue? This is what many psychologists call “stonewalling”—where one partner withdraws from the other and closes themselves off. Sometimes there is a reason why someone chooses to stonewall; maybe they need some time to gather their thoughts or don’t want to say something they may regret. However, if your partner refuses to engage with you every time there is a conflict, it’s not surprising that you feel like they don’t care about you or your feelings.

10. Lack of appreciation.

A man and a woman sit on a gray sofa in a living room with green plants in the background. The woman, wearing a beige sweater, appears to be speaking emphatically, gesturing with her hands. The man, in a blue denim shirt, looks pensive, resting his head on his hand.

Feeling valued and appreciated by your partner is not only an essential part of any relationship, but it is also the easiest way to show how much you love and care for each other. It can be something as simple as getting them their favorite candy to cheer them up after a hard day, or complimenting how they style their hair that day. If your partner doesn’t feel the need to express gratitude to you, it can make you feel insignificant and unappreciated by them.