If you use any of these 17 phrases, you’re an extremely toxic person

Are you toxic? If you use these phrases, the answer is yes.

Two women are having an intense conversation in a brightly lit room. The woman on the left, with curly hair and wearing a yellow crop top, has a concerned expression. The woman on the right, with straight hair and wearing a white shirt under a green overall dress, gestures emphatically.

The words we use can either build bridges or walls. They reveal a lot about who we are as a person. Some phrases might seem okay to use, but they actually signal that you’re being really quite toxic. In fact, it’s fair to say that regular use of any of these phrases indicates that you’re a very toxic person. Let’s look at what those harsh words are.

1. “You’re being too sensitive.”

A woman and a man sit on a beige couch in a well-lit room. The man gestures with his hand, appearing to speak, while the woman rests her hand on her head, looking distressed. There is a birdcage and a window with blinds in the background.

Ah, the classic “You’re being too sensitive.” This phrase can feel like a punch to the gut, right? It tells someone their emotions are too much, that they’re making a mountain out of a molehill. This dismissal not only invalidates their feelings but also suggests that their emotional responses are unwarranted. It can lead to feelings of shame for having those emotions in the first place. Everyone has their own emotional landscape shaped by life experiences, and what might seem trivial to one person could be deeply significant to another.

2. “Why can’t you be more like…”

A woman with long brown hair sits on a couch, reaching out with an open hand towards a man with short dark hair. The man, sitting beside her, looks away with a serious expression, holding his hand up as if dismissing or stopping her. They appear to be in a living room.

Let’s talk about comparisons. When you say, “Why can’t you be more like…,” you are crushing that person’s individuality. This phrase implies that the person is somehow lacking or inadequate as they are, which can be a devastating blow to their self-esteem. It not only diminishes their unique qualities but also fosters a sense of inadequacy. Constant comparisons can lead to feelings of resentment and frustration, as the person feels they can never measure up to the unrealistic standards set by others. Ultimately, this phrase can stifle personal growth and create a toxic environment where people feel pressured to conform rather than embrace their authentic selves.

3. “I’m just joking.”

A man wearing a checkered shirt stands in a kitchen, raising his hands in an expressive manner while speaking. A woman with a distressed expression sits in the foreground with her hand on her forehead, looking away from the man. Kitchen cabinets and a kettle are visible.

We’ve all been there—trying to lighten the mood with a joke, only to have it backfire spectacularly. When you say, “I’m just joking,” it can feel like a cop-out, a way to dodge responsibility for hurtful comments. This phrase often serves as a shield, allowing the speaker to escape accountability for their words. It can minimize the impact of their remarks and make the other person doubt their own feelings. Humor should uplift, not tear down, and using it as a weapon can create an atmosphere of distrust. When someone feels their feelings are dismissed as mere jokes, it can lead to a breakdown in communication and emotional connection.

4. “You never listen to me.”

A man with glasses, wearing a blue shirt, stands with his arms crossed and looks away. A woman with long hair and a gray sweater stands behind him, with her arms out and a frustrated expression. They are in a bright room with curtains and large windows.

This phrase can feel like a grenade tossed into a conversation. “You never listen to me” is a surefire way to put the other person on the defensive, triggering feelings of inadequacy and frustration. It’s an absolute statement that can shut down any chance for productive dialogue. When someone feels accused of not listening, they may become more focused on defending themselves rather than engaging in meaningful conversation. This can create a cycle of miscommunication and resentment, making it difficult to resolve the underlying issues. Instead of fostering understanding, this phrase can deepen divides and hinder genuine connection.

5. “You always have to be right.”

A man and a woman are sitting on a couch engaged in a serious conversation. They are gesturing with their hands, indicating that they are having a disagreement or intense discussion. The background shows a window with a view of green foliage outside.

Oh, the irony of insisting “You always have to be right.” This phrase can create an adversarial vibe, as if you’re in a competition rather than a conversation. It suggests that winning the argument is more important than understanding each other, fostering an environment where collaboration is stifled. This mindset can lead to a breakdown in communication, as the other person may feel their opinions and perspectives are not valued. It turns conversations into battlegrounds, where the goal is to win rather than connect.

6. “You’re the problem.”

A woman is sitting on a couch, pointing her finger and talking to a man next to her who has his arms crossed and an unhappy expression. Both are casually dressed in a white T-shirt and jeans. The background shows a decorated living room.

If you want to escalate a conflict, just throw out “You’re the problem.” This phrase is a relationship killer, shifting all blame to the other person and leaving no room for self-reflection. It creates an environment where the other person feels attacked and defensive, which can lead to a cycle of blame and hostility. This kind of communication prevents any meaningful resolution, as it focuses solely on assigning fault rather than addressing the underlying issues.

7. “You’re imagining things.”

Two people sit on a couch engaged in a serious conversation. The person on the left is gesturing with open hands, appearing surprised or frustrated. Both are wearing casual, light-colored clothing. Sunlight filters through white curtains in the background.

This phrase dismisses someone’s reality and can make them question their own perceptions. When you say “You’re imagining things,” it implies that the other person is out of touch with reality, which can be incredibly belittling. This kind of dismissal can lead to increased self-doubt and confusion, making it hard for the person to trust their instincts or feelings. Instead of fostering understanding, this phrase can create barriers to communication, as the person may feel that their experiences are not valid.

8. “I can’t deal with your drama.”

A woman with long red hair, wearing a light purple top and white pants, sits on a gray couch raising her hands defensively while talking to a man with a beard, wearing a white t-shirt and jeans, who is extending his hand towards her. They appear to be in a heated discussion.

When you say, “I can’t deal with your drama,” it can come across as a rejection. This phrase implies that someone’s feelings are too burdensome, shutting down any chance for meaningful dialogue. It suggests that their emotional expressions are excessive or unwarranted, which can lead to feelings of isolation and frustration. By labeling their feelings as drama, you dismiss their experiences and invalidate their emotions. This can prevent the person from feeling comfortable sharing their thoughts, creating a communication barrier that stifles connection and understanding.

9. “You made me do it.”

A woman in a yellow cardigan sits on a couch, looking away with a hand on her chin, appearing frustrated. A man in a brown hoodie sits next to her, gesturing with clenched fists and an angry expression, amidst a dispute in a bright room with plants.

Let’s be real: “You made me do it” is classic deflection. It shifts the blame entirely onto someone else, avoiding any personal accountability. This mindset can hinder your growth and damage relationships, making it seem like you’re always the victim in every situation. By refusing to take responsibility for your actions, you create an environment where conflict is inevitable. This phrase can also breed resentment in the other person, as they may feel unfairly blamed for your choices. This can lead to a cycle of blame that makes it difficult to resolve issues constructively.

10. “No one else has a problem with me but you.”

A man and a woman are having an intense conversation in a bright office with large windows overlooking a cityscape. The man looks surprised with his hands up, while the woman is pointing her finger at him, appearing to be frustrated. Both are dressed in business attire.

This phrase can feel isolating, like you’re saying their concerns are exaggerated or invalid. It creates an “us versus you” dynamic that can lead to feelings of loneliness and self-doubt. By suggesting that their concerns are unique to them, you dismiss their feelings and experiences, making them feel alienated. This kind of communication can lead to increased tension and conflict, as the person may feel they have to defend their viewpoint against a perceived majority.

11. “You’re just being paranoid.”

A middle-aged man with gray hair and beard wearing a green shirt, and a blonde middle-aged woman in a yellow shirt, are sitting on a couch inside a cozy living room. They are arguing passionately, gesturing with their hands, and looking at each other intensely.

Using the phrase “You’re just being paranoid” can be incredibly dismissive. It implies that the other person’s feelings and concerns are unfounded, which can leave them feeling unheard and belittled. This kind of dismissal can exacerbate anxiety and make the person question their own perceptions. Instead of fostering understanding, this phrase can create barriers to communication, as the person may feel that their experiences are not valid.

12. “You’re overreacting.”

A man with gray hair and wearing a blue plaid shirt and jeans, sits on a couch with a concerned expression. A woman with long blond hair, a white sweater, and jeans, wearing glasses, sits beside him, pointing her finger and looking frustrated. Shelves are visible in the background.

Telling someone they’re overreacting is like throwing cold water on their emotions. It invalidates their feelings and suggests they should feel differently. This phrase can make the person feel as though their emotional responses are excessive or unwarranted. Everyone processes emotions in their own way, and it’s not your place to judge. By dismissing their feelings, the other person may feel they cannot express their feelings without being criticized.

13. “You’re lucky to have me.”

A woman with a bun leans her head on her hand, looking distressed. A man in a blue shirt stands in front of her, gesturing with his hands as if explaining or arguing. The atmosphere appears tense. The background is indoors with neutral colors.

This phrase drips with entitlement and can come off as condescending. Saying “You’re lucky to have me” implies that you’re doing someone a favor by being in their life, which can be a real blow to their self-worth. It suggests a power imbalance in the relationship, where one person feels superior to the other. This kind of communication can foster feelings of inadequacy and resentment, making it difficult for the other person to feel valued. This dynamic can erode trust and create an unhealthy relationship where one person feels they must constantly prove their worth.

14. “You’re crazy.”

A man and a woman are having a heated argument outdoors. The woman, wearing a black blazer, is pointing her finger and appears to be speaking angrily. The man, dressed in a grey blazer, looks confused and is gesturing with his hands.

Calling someone “crazy” is not just disrespectful; it’s also a harmful label that perpetuates stigma around mental health. This phrase can invalidate their feelings and experiences, shutting down communication and creating barriers. It reduces complex emotions and behaviors to a simplistic label, which can be deeply damaging. Such language can lead to increased feelings of isolation and shame, making it harder for the person to seek support.

15. “If you really loved me, you would…”

An older woman with gray hair and glasses sits on a sofa, comforting a younger woman with brown hair who looks upset. The older woman has her arm around the younger woman, offering support. They are in a well-lit, cozy living room with plants and shelves in the background.

This phrase is a masterclass in emotional manipulation. It leverages love as a tool for control, placing unfair pressure on the other person. This kind of communication can create resentment and erode trust, as it implies that love is conditional based on actions. It can lead to feelings of guilt and obligation, making the other person feel as though they must constantly prove their love. It can create a toxic dynamic where one person feels they must sacrifice their own needs to meet the demands of the other.

16. “You’re nothing without me.”

A man and a woman are having an intense argument in a living room. The man, standing and dressed in a blue shirt, is raising his hand and appears frustrated. The woman, sitting on a couch and wearing a gray shirt, is gesturing back at him, looking upset.

This phrase is a glaring red flag for toxic behavior. It aims to undermine someone’s self-esteem and create dependency, suggesting they lack value on their own. Such statements can be particularly damaging in relationships, as they maintain power imbalances and erode individual confidence. By implying that the other person’s worth is contingent upon you, you create an unhealthy dynamic that can lead to feelings of inadequacy. This can foster resentment and emotional distance, making it difficult for both individuals to thrive within the relationship.

17. “I don’t care what you think.”

A man with short brown hair and a white shirt stands outdoors with his arms open, appearing to speak to a woman with long, blonde hair facing away from the camera. They are in a park-like setting, with trees and greenery in the background.

When you say, “I don’t care what you think,” it’s like slamming a door in someone’s face. This phrase signals a lack of respect and empathy, effectively shutting down communication. It can create distance in relationships, making the other person feel undervalued and unheard. Such dismissive language can lead to feelings of isolation and frustration, as the person may feel their opinions and feelings are not worth considering. This will erode trust and make it difficult to engage in meaningful conversations, ultimately damaging the relationship.