12 Traits Of A Decent, Capable Man Who Is Worth Your Time

Is he the decent man you deserve?

A bearded man with tousled brown hair smiles warmly at the camera. He is wearing a blue denim shirt and stands in front of a blurred outdoor background with brick and people in soft focus.

When most people are asked what they look for in an ideal partner, decency and capability are often at the top of their list. If these are the aspects you’re seeking in a partner, look for the traits listed below.

1. Emotional resilience/fortitude.

A young man with short hair and wearing a red shirt is sitting on a park bench, smiling at the camera. The background features green trees and grass, indicating a sunny day in the park.

Look for a man who doesn’t fall apart at the first sign of difficulty or grief. This doesn’t mean that he won’t shed a tear when he loses a loved one, or never shows signs of stress, but rather that he keeps it together and pushes through to do what must be done.

2. Adaptability.

A man with short brown hair and a beard is taking a selfie outdoors. He is wearing a dark T-shirt and a maroon hoodie. He is smiling against a backdrop of a calm, sunlit body of water, with a light, hazy sky above.

He won’t freak out or pitch a fit if plans fall through. Rather, he goes with the flow and adapts to whatever circumstances unfold. Plans change (or need to be canceled at times), and unforeseen issues may need to be attended to. So be it: he’ll adapt to whatever arises with grace.

3. Resourcefulness.

A person wearing a backwards baseball cap, a maroon t-shirt, and a necklace with a pendant stands near a wooden beam and a brick wall, looking down pensively. The person has short hair and a trimmed mustache.

The power’s out and the water isn’t running? Not a problem: he’ll rig up a rainwater catchment system and a cob oven out in the yard. You haven’t gone grocery shopping? Fridge and pantry soup it is! No matter what situation unfolds, he’ll make do in an innovative, resourceful manner.

4. Skills.

A man with gray hair, wearing a striped shirt and denim overalls, is intensely focused on woodworking. He is using a hand plane on a piece of wood in a workshop setting with a brick wall and a window in the background.

This guy hasn’t spent the majority of his life watching TV and not developing any capabilities. Instead, he’s either chosen a career path or personal pursuits that allow him to hone certain skills. The more skills a man has, the more well-rounded he is in terms of overall capability.

5. Integrity.

A smiling man with short, dark hair and a beard is wearing a sleeveless gray shirt. He is standing outdoors in a park with green trees and blurred buildings in the background, under bright daylight.

Does this man stand up for his principles? Does he defend those who need help? Does he keep his word when he makes a promise, admit to mistakes when he’s made them, and always do what he feels is right? Then you know you’ve found a man with incredible integrity.

6. Humor.

A smiling person with curly hair leans against a rust-colored wall. They are wearing a blue denim shirt over a white t-shirt and have their arms crossed. The background includes additional rust-colored panels extending to the left.

Look for a man who can find humor in even the most trying circumstances, and who is quick to chuckle at humorous topics. He won’t laugh at people’s misfortunes, nor will he giggle uncontrollably like a child, but he will maintain good humor and a sense of levity even when things are dire.

7. Reliability.

A smiling person with a shaved head is standing against a gray wall with their arms crossed. They are wearing a blue denim shirt over a white t-shirt and bracelets on their left wrist.

He might agree to help you move house several months in advance, and you don’t have to remind him about it—he’ll simply show up at the appointed time with beer to share. If he says he’ll take care of something, he’ll take care of it. You can count on him completely.

8. Self-sufficiency.

A man with short dark hair stands against a light-colored wall. He is wearing a dark leather jacket over a gray shirt and is smiling at the camera.

Instead of behaving like a leech or needing others to do basic tasks for him, he takes care of almost all his own needs on his own. He’ll find ways to support himself as needed, and can sew a button back onto his shirt without finding someone else to do it.

9. Courage.

A man with short black hair and a black t-shirt is taking a selfie. He is raising his right hand, palm facing the camera, as if gesturing to stop or hold. His expression appears serious. The background is plain and neutral.

Is this guy likely to step between you and someone who’s harassing you in order to create a protective barrier between you? Or throw you toward a potential threat so he can get away? Courage and bravery are hallmarks of decency in a man, as they speak volumes about his future behavior.

10. Kindness.

A man in a yellow shirt and blue plaid jacket is gently touching the muzzle of a brown horse over a wooden fence in a sunlit outdoor enclosure. The horse leans toward him, and the scene is calm and friendly.

This doesn’t mean that he’s oversensitive, but he will be patient and gentle toward those who are vulnerable, including the elderly and disabled. He might help tend a wounded squirrel back to health or bring soup to an ailing neighbor, but he doesn’t allow his kindness to be taken advantage of.

11. Temperance.

A young man with short hair and a beard smiles warmly at the camera. He is wearing a dark blue shirt, and the background appears to be softly blurred, focusing the attention on his cheerful expression.

Look for a man who doesn’t over-indulge in anything, but can instead rein in his desires and keep them in check. He won’t allow vices such as gluttony, overspending, or over-indulgence in intoxicants to take over him. He maintains control over his inclinations and remains responsible with them.

12. Continual self-improvement.

A man with long hair and a beard is sitting on the floor, leaning against a piece of furniture. He is wearing a casual plaid shirt over a white T-shirt and light blue jeans, and he’s absorbed in reading a book. The setting appears to be a cozy indoor space.

If he’s passionate about a craft, he’ll seek out new techniques and materials in order to expand his skill set. Similarly, he may educate himself about new subjects and technologies, and put real effort into his health. Essentially, he’s perpetually seeking to make himself a better, more well-rounded man.