If you're serious about finding happiness, put a stop to these 12 self-destructive habits

Unlock true happiness by letting go of these behaviors.

A young woman with light brown hair and bangs is smiling with her eyes closed. She is wearing a checkered shirt and is in a dimly lit setting, possibly a café or a similar cozy environment. The background is blurred, emphasizing her content expression.

Sometimes, the main factor that prevents you from finding real happiness is the person who’s staring back at you in the bathroom mirror. Here are 12 self-destructive behaviors that you should put a stop to immediately if you want to be truly happy.

1. Self-Sabotage.

A woman with long brown hair stands on a beach, looking into the distance with a thoughtful expression. She is wrapped in a thick, gray sweater and a colorful scarf. The beach and ocean are blurred in the background under an overcast sky.

Countless people prevent themselves from finding true happiness by sabotaging their own endeavors. If you deliberately throw a spanner into the works because you think it’ll hurt less than the potential failure or rejection from something (or someone) you really want, you’re conning yourself. Work on your courage and take that risk. Trust me, it’s worth it.

2. Comparison.

A person with short blonde hair is sitting and looking at a smartphone while holding a white cup. They are wearing a plain white t-shirt. In the background, there are green houseplants and a white cabinet with books and folders.

Comparison is the thief of joy, and it will prevent you from doing things that make you happy because you’re constantly measuring yourself, your abilities, and your evolution against someone else. Instead, focus on what you love, and observe the progress you make on your own terms, in your own way.

3. Not making self-care a priority.

A man wearing a beige t-shirt and jeans is sitting on a dark blue couch with pillows, holding a remote control and staring straight ahead with a neutral or slightly displeased expression. The background is plain beige.

Whether it’s eating badly, not getting enough sleep, or allowing an unhealthy work-life balance, not putting real effort into taking care of yourself—body, mind, and soul—will prevent you from attaining the level of happiness and fulfillment that you’re hoping to achieve.

4. Keeping toxic people in your life.

Two women sit across from each other at a table in a cafe, engaged in a serious conversation. Both are wearing sweaters. A potted poinsettia sits on the table between them, alongside two white coffee cups and a smartphone. Large windows are in the background.

If the biggest obstacles to your happiness are toxic people who are making your life a living hell, then it’s vital that you remove them as soon as possible. No matter what excuses you make or obligations you think you feel toward them, cut them out.

5. Refusing to get help for persistent issues.

A woman with long brown hair and wearing a pink sweater and blue jeans sits on the floor against a wall, looking distressed. She rests her forehead on her hand and has an expression of concern, with a bed and wardrobe visible in the background.

Maybe you refuse to see a doctor about the weird lump on your arm, or think that you don’t need help managing the panic attacks that paralyze you out of nowhere. If you’re stubbornly refusing to get help for issues that are plaguing you, happiness will remain out of reach.

6. Perfectionism.

A woman with long, wavy hair examines a yellow plate closely with a frowning expression. She is standing in a bright kitchen with stacks of plates in front of her and potted plants on the windowsill in the background.

Perpetually striving to reach standards that you can never attain is going to make you permanently miserable. We’re all flawed individuals muddling through life, and even if we reach what we consider to be “perfection”, it’ll be fleeting. Challenge yourself and do your best, but let go of the idea of anything being “perfect”.

7. Consuming “too much” of something.

A man with a bald head and beard sits at a table, clutching his head in frustration or despair. Around him are several empty, half-empty, and full bottles, suggesting a setting of distress or overconsumption. The background includes household items and plants.

Being over-indulgent in anything can be detrimental to your overall happiness. Overeating will make you unhappy because of unwanted weight gain, while drinking too much alcohol might fill you with self-loathing, as well as causing horrible hangovers. Understand what drives you to overindulge, and address those issues at their foundations.

8. Burnout.

A man in a suit is sleeping at his desk with his head resting on papers. His glasses are askew, and his computer, smartphone, and a coffee cup are nearby, indicating he was working before falling asleep. The office setting appears modern and well-lit.

You’re not going to become a happier person by working 80 hours a week for an employer who can’t remember your name. Similarly, your world isn’t going to fall apart if your home isn’t spotless. Allow yourself time to rest and replenish or you risk getting seriously ill, as well as unhappier.

9. Perpetual self-criticism.

A woman with blonde hair, wearing a white shirt and a beaded necklace, has her eyes closed and is grimacing. She is covering her ears with both index fingers. The background is a solid teal color.

If you grew up in a family where you were constantly put down, your inner voice might tell you that you’re a worthless human being a hundred times a day. Work to silence that negative self-talk, even if it means telling that voice to shut up unless it has something positive to share.

10. Procrastination.

woman procrastinating

The more you procrastinate about getting things done, the more self-loathing you’ll feel, and the less inclined you’ll be to actually do the thing. Do one small action daily to move yourself closer to your goal, and you’ll feel a lot happier about yourself, and the pride you feel in your achievements.

11. Irresponsibility that has long-term negative effects.

A woman in a red coat with an anxious expression holds a single dollar bill in one hand and an open wallet in the other. She stands next to an ATM, and shopping bags hang from her arm.

You might think that it’s a great idea to spend an insane amount of money on a new hobby, but you’ll be really angry and stressed at the end of the month if you don’t have enough left to pay rent and bills on time. Treat yourself, but do it responsibly.

12. Holding onto resentment or anger.

Two women are sitting on a gray couch with their arms crossed, facing away from each other. One wears a yellow shirt and glasses, the other wears a white shirt. The background features a green wall with framed pictures. They seem upset or in disagreement.

Holding onto anger and resentment is like holding a hot coal and hoping that those who wronged you will suffer. Nothing can fix past negative experiences, so put sincere work into healing and moving forward from them, rather than wallowing in destructive emotions so they keep on damaging you.