9 Awful Reasons To Get Married
There are many reasons people get married. Not all of them good. In fact, some of the reasons people come up with are downright terrible.
If you are wondering whether marriage is the right choice for you (or whether you already made the wrong choice), here are 9 awful reasons to get married.
1. You’ve Been Together A Long Time
By itself, time is an awful reason to put a ring on your partner’s finger.
Because let’s face it, you might have spent years in an unfulfilling relationship. Is marriage really going to change that? Hell no.
Sometimes it can just seem like you’ve committed so much time that to bail on the relationship now means losing all those months and years.
But those years are gone anyway, however happy or unhappy they might have been.
You won’t get them back.
So don’t slide into a marriage simply because you’ve been with someone for a long time.
Happy marriages aren’t born out of fear of being alone or pure laziness or stubbornness.
2. Society Or Your Family Expect It
Are you feeling the pressure to walk down the aisle?
Are your family members constantly asking when you’re going to get engaged?
Does it feel like society’s eyes are on you and that you need to get married soon or forever be labeled a failure?
You know what, ignore that rubbish.
It doesn’t matter what your parents or family or workmates or church group think, only you can decide if and when you want to get married.
Outside expectations of you are just that – outside. They do not come from you. And you should not do something simply because it is expected of you.
Do it because YOU want to do it.
3. You Didn’t Want To Upset Your Partner
In other words, you couldn’t say no.
Whether that’s as the person being proposed to, or as someone who felt pressured into proposing, you just didn’t want to let your partner down.
Let’s assume you love them and see a future together, it doesn’t automatically mean you have to agree to marriage.
Perhaps it’s not the right time.
Perhaps you want to live together for a while.
Perhaps you’re really young and you think you’d both be better off maturing a little first.
But despite these things, you didn’t want to risk confrontation or, worse, a breakup.
So you just went along with it.
If something is telling you that you shouldn’t be getting married at this precise moment in time, listen to that voice.
4. You Think It Will Solve Your Relationship Problems
Some people somehow get it into their heads that marriage will put to bed many of the issues they face in their relationship.
It won’t.
Sorry to disappoint, but marriage vows are not some magic spell that suddenly make two people love each other forever more.
They do not stop arguments or solve the underlying causes of those arguments.
You might get a brief respite for a short while after you get married, but it may even make things worse in the long run.
Yes, all relationships have their sticking points, but marriage cannot paper over the cracks of a relationship that’s got cracks running all through it.
5. Your Family Really Like Your Partner
Let’s assume that you love your partner, but you still have doubts. That’s okay and it’s not uncommon. Love is not always enough to keep two people together in the long term.
But add into the mix the fact that your family get on really well with your partner.
It can be tempting to see this as a sign that your doubts are unfounded.
After all, who doesn’t want their partner to get along with their family?
But this is not enough of a reason to even think about marriage.
Marriage occurs between two people – everyone else is just a sideshow (perhaps with the exception of children).
You, being one of those two people, need to be sure that marriage is the right thing for you and your partner.
6. You’re Afraid Of Being Alone
Fear of being alone is a terrible reason to get married.
If you’re tying the knot just because you can’t stand the thought of being single, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment.
Marriage won’t magically cure your loneliness or insecurities. In fact, it might even amplify them.
A healthy marriage is built on two independent individuals choosing to share their lives, not on codependency or fear.
Remember, it’s better to be happy alone than miserable together. Work on loving yourself first before committing to a lifelong partnership.
7. You Think It’s The Next Logical Step
Just because you’ve been dating for a while, moved in together, or reached a certain age doesn’t mean marriage is the automatic next step.
Life isn’t a checklist, and marriage isn’t just another box to tick off.
It’s a serious commitment that requires careful consideration and mutual desire from both partners.
Don’t let societal norms or a false sense of progression push you into a marriage you’re not ready for or don’t truly want.
Your relationship timeline should be unique to you and your partner, not dictated by external expectations.
8. You Want A Big Wedding
If your main motivation for getting married is to have a lavish celebration and be the center of attention for a day, think twice.
A wedding is just one day, but a marriage is supposed to last a lifetime.
Focusing on the party rather than the partnership is a recipe for disaster. The excitement of wedding planning will fade, and you’ll be left with the reality of married life.
Make sure you’re as enthusiastic about the years after the wedding as you are about the big day itself. Otherwise, you might find yourself with a beautiful album full of memories, but an empty and unfulfilling marriage.
9. You Want Financial Compensation If You Split Up
If you’re thinking of getting married purely because it offers you some means to get financial compensation from your partner in the event of a divorce, don’t do it.
Sure, marriage might offer you some protection in these circumstances, but planning ahead for a divorce is hardly a good reason to get married in the first place.
This is different to the rights or entitlement regarding a shared child because that is to protect the child whereas this is only to cover you. Protection for your kids is actually one of the better reasons to tie the knot.
10. You’re Expecting A Baby With Them
Finding out you’re expecting a baby with your partner might seem like a natural reason to get married, but it’s not always the best one.
A child certainly creates a lifelong connection between two people, but it doesn’t necessarily mean you should rush down the aisle.
Parenthood is challenging enough without adding the pressure of a new marriage into the mix.
Remember, a child needs happy, stable parents more than they need married ones. If you’re not ready for marriage, forcing it for the sake of the baby could lead to resentment and conflict.
It’s better to focus on preparing for parenthood and strengthening your relationship as it is. If marriage is right for you both, it will happen when the time is truly right, not just because there’s a baby on the way.
Your child will benefit more from seeing a healthy, loving relationship – married or not – than from parents who rushed into marriage for the wrong reasons.
So… Why Get Married?
To sum things up, marriage should be about love and trust first and foremost. If your relationship doesn’t have these things, don’t get married.
Even if it does have those things, but you’re basing your decision largely on the reasons above, still don’t do it.