Toxic Friends Won’t Be Able To Hide These 8 Revealing Behaviors For Long

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The Truth Always Comes Out

Two women are seated and smiling at each other. One woman, with long wavy hair, is facing away, while the other, with straight hair, is facing the camera, extending her hand forward as if giving a high-five. They are indoors and appear to be enjoying a conversation.

Toxic friendships, often disguised as supportive bonds, can silently erode our self-esteem and peace of mind. While it’s easy to overlook subtle red flags, certain behaviors unmistakably signal a friendship’s toxicity. Here we’ve got 8 telltale signs that toxic friends won’t be able to keep hidden for long.

1. Lying (big and small).

Two men are seated at a table playing a game. One man in a green shirt is looking intently, while the other in a light shirt holds money and gestures towards the table. A glass of beer and a stack of wooden blocks are on the table, with chips in a bowl nearby.

You have every right to doubt your friend if they have been dishonest or deceitful.

While white lies might occasionally slip through in an attempt to spare your feelings, but habitual dishonesty is a glaring red flag. From minor fibs to major fabrications, lying should not be taken lightly, so watch out.

A liar won’t be able to stay hidden for long. And once you spot them, run for the hills.

2. Gossiping (about you or others).

Two women sharing a secret and laughing joyfully. One woman with brown hair holds her hand to her mouth in surprise, while the other woman with blonde hair leans in closely. They are sitting near a table with pink flowers in the foreground.

Do your friends talk behind your back? Toxic friends just won’t be able to help themselves.

If they gossip about other people to you, you can bet that they gossip about you to others too.

They could even be spreading rumors, whether those rumors are true or made up.

If your friend is two-faced, you should reconsider your friendship.

But, bear in mind that gossip is not always the same as badmouthing you to others.

It’s not the same when your friend gossips about how much your new car costs and when they badmouth you by highlighting your negative qualities.

But they could also be spilling the beans about your personal life. Revealing your secrets is a huge break of trust.

3. Stealing (not just your physical possessions).

Three people walking down a sunlit road with trees on either side. A man in the middle has his arms around two women, one on his left wearing a teal shirt and the other on his right wearing a pink shirt. They hold hands and face away from the camera.

Your friend could steal from you. They could steal your money, your personal belongings, your credit cards, or even your boyfriend or girlfriend.

It’s better to have enemies than toxic friends like these, but it happens.

This is not the same as borrowing small things and never giving them back. Although that is a nasty habit too, but it’s not the same as deliberately stealing valuable things from you.

4. Keeping secrets.

Two women are sitting outdoors at a table, engaged in conversation. One has blonde hair and is seen from the back. The other has dark hair with bangs, red lipstick, and is stirring a drink, looking attentively at the blonde woman. The background is blurred with greenery.

Did your friend keep secrets from you? This is a toxic trait that will always come out eventually.

If you needed to know something and they kept quiet about it, it’s similar to lying to you.

Withholding information could be a form of being dishonest.

Your friend shouldn’t have to tell you everything that happens in their life, but they should tell you things that affect you, as well as the important information about them that could affect your friendship.

5. Disrespecting you (or your boundaries).

A man with a red beard and sunglasses, dressed in a denim vest, blue jeans, and a black beanie, is sitting on a black motorcycle inside a garage. He is looking at his wristwatch, with one arm raised. The garage has various tools and decorations in the background.

An act of betrayal could be a sign that your friend doesn’t respect you. And a friend who doesn’t respect you is toxic to you.

If they disrespect your boundaries, they’re not a good friend.

They should respect your boundaries if you’ve clearly communicated what you will and won’t tolerate.

A friend might also act disrespectfully to you in public by putting you down or even humiliating you. You don’t need friends like that in your life.

Don’t tolerate it if your friend puts you down or humiliates you when you’re alone either. Friends tease and joke, but good friends never cross the line.

6. Breaking promises.

Two women are sitting on a bench outdoors. The woman in the foreground looks upset, resting her head on her hand. The woman in the background is looking at her with a concerned expression. There is green foliage in the background.

What if your friend constantly makes promises that they can’t keep?

They get your hopes up for nothing and leave you disappointed.

If they promised to do or not do something, they should stick to their word. If they don’t, take it as a warning sign of things to come.

Sometimes, it can happen that a person can’t keep their promise for reasons that are out of their control. But frequently making and breaking promises is a whole other thing.

7. Using you.

Two men are sitting at a wooden counter in a dimly lit bar. One man in a plaid shirt is looking down at a glass of beer he is holding, while the other man in a denim jacket stands close by, looking at him with a concerned expression.

Unfortunately, your friend could be using you, whether it’s for your money, time, attention, or something else.

If they have a hidden agenda for being friends with you, they’re not really your friend. They’re just a leech.

Your friends should genuinely like you for who you are, and you should help each other and support each other.

But using someone is never mutual like that, and one person always gives more while the other just takes.

8. Cheating.

A woman with long dark hair stands outdoors, wearing a white blouse and black pants. She has her arms partially extended with a questioning look on her face. Green plants and striped metal siding are in the background, while another person is partially visible.

How can a friend cheat on you? Obviously, this is not the same as cheating in a romantic relationship.

But, betraying your loyalty is a form of cheating.

Whether your friends broke your trust by lying to you, revealing your secrets, or in any other way, they cheated.

Cheating could also mean that your friend befriends someone else and prioritizes them over you, even if you introduced them in the first place.

Finally…

Two women are outdoors. One woman looks distressed, holding her head with one hand and her other arm crossed. The other woman, wearing a denim shirt, stands beside her with one hand on her shoulder and a reassuring smile, offering comfort.

For many people, friendships are as important, if not more, than family and romantic partners. But not all friends are created equal, as we’ve seen. A friend who displays any of these behaviors is not a friend at all and is likely doing you more harm than good.

So if you see these signs, call them out or cut them out (or both). The choice is yours.

About The Author

Katie is a writer and translator with a focus on travel, self-care and sustainability. She's based between a cave house in Granada, Spain, and the coast of beautiful Cornwall, England. She spends her free time hiking, exploring, eating vegan tapas and volunteering for a local dog shelter.