12 Things That Make A Man Realize He Lost A Good Woman

He’ll eventually realize what he had and lost.

A man sits on a sofa, holding a framed photo with a thoughtful and concerned expression. His left hand partially covers his mouth as he looks into the distance. The background shows shelves with decorative items and books.

At various points in their lives, many men will look back on past relationships and realize that they’ve lost a truly good woman. These epiphanies may be instant, or years after the fact, but they’ll share many of the same details. Here’s how a man might wake up to the fact that he lost one of the best women he’s ever known.

1. When he discovers just how much she did for him on a regular basis.

A person in a green sweater is sitting indoors, resting their head on their hand while gazing to the side with a thoughtful expression. A small potted plant is visible on a windowsill in the background.

A man whose lady always went above and beyond to make his life easier and happier may feel overwhelmed by the hole her absence has created. Suddenly he realizes just how much she did for him all the time, and how much he took her efforts for granted when she was around.

2. Becoming aware of how great she was compared to the other women he’s getting to know.

A young man with light brown hair and a scarf around his neck gazes out a window. He is wearing a gray sweater and appears thoughtful. The background shows a blurred outdoor scene with a hint of greenery and a pinkish hue on the surface outside.

After breaking up, he may have re-entered the dating pool only to discover that the other fish in the sea are… less appetizing than he thought. After getting to know several other women, he develops startling clarity about what a treasure he had, and lost, for whatever reasons.

3. Loneliness for authentic companionship.

A man with a beard and a grey shirt is sitting and holding a photo of a smiling woman, covering his face with his other hand in an expression of sadness or deep contemplation. The background is blurred and neutral in color.

There are many levels to companionship, from the comfortable camaraderie of going to the pub with friends, to the soul-deep connection with a partner who just “gets you” on many levels. If he hasn’t been able to get a true connection with anyone else since she’s been gone, he’s going to miss that terribly.

4. When others take advantage of him.

A woman in a red dress smiles while talking on her cellphone during a candlelit dinner. A man in a white shirt sits beside her, looking bored and holding a glass of red wine. A bouquet of red roses and more wine are on the table, set against a city night backdrop.

If he had a woman of unparalleled devotion and integrity, he’ll be devastated when women he subsequently dates bail on him at the first sign of difficulty. He’ll come to the awareness that there are few other women like her out there, and he may never find another of her caliber.

5. Loss of support.

A close-up, black-and-white photograph of a middle-aged man with a beard and short hair. He gazes downward with a somber expression, highlighting the texture of his skin and the deep shadows on his face. He wears a dark shirt against a black background.

When a man has a wife or partner who’s a never-ending source of support and encouragement, he feels like he’s strong enough to handle anything that may unfold in his life. Without her, he may feel lost and directionless, without anyone to talk to about his struggles.

6. Realizing how many life plans now won’t come to fruition without her.

A man with a beard and short hair is gazing out of a window with a thoughtful expression. He is wearing a dark shirt, and the background shows a blurred indoor setting with natural light coming through the windows.

He may have had a number of dreams that he wanted to achieve in life, but they can’t unfold the way he’d hoped without her unique presence and influence. He may now have to completely re-envision how his future will unfold because she’s no longer a keystone to make them a reality.

7. Becoming aware of his feelings in retrospect.

A man with blond hair and a trimmed beard is looking down with a contemplative expression. He is wearing a light blue shirt over a white T-shirt. The background is dimly lit, featuring several blurred lamps and furniture.

“Don’t it always seem to go that you don’t know what you got ‘til it’s gone.” A lot of men have difficulty recognizing their own emotions, and may not realize just how much they loved their lady until she’s out of the picture. Depending on the breakup, that loss may be permanent, and devastating.

8. Guilt and shame at past behaviors.

A man in a white t-shirt and dark jacket sits outdoors in a park-like setting, with trees and grass in the background. He is looking down with a thoughtful or contemplative expression. The scene is illuminated by soft, natural sunlight.

When looking back at the factors that contributed to her leaving, he may feel intense guilt, self-loathing, and shame about his actions that may have led to the breakup—especially if she tried to broach issues repeatedly and offer potential solutions to salvage the relationship, and he refused.

9. Shallow intimacies with other women.

A man and woman lie in bed together under grey blankets, both wearing white shirts. They face each other, the woman smiling softly while the man gazes at her. The background is dark blue with a nightstand visible. The atmosphere appears calm and intimate.

There’s a huge difference between the type of intimacy one shares with a great partner, and the fleeting dalliances one has with someone they don’t really care about. Real connection is a rare thing, and losing that can make most other intimate experiences pale in comparison.

10. Never being able to re-create what he had with her.

Two people are seated at a table in a cozy café. The woman on the left has curly hair and is resting her face on her hands, looking down and appearing thoughtful. The man on the right has a beard and is holding a cup while looking contemplative.

No two relationships are the same, but if there was a special chemistry and bond that the two of them shared, that he’s never been able to capture without her, it’ll drive home the realization that he had someone incredibly special, and will never have that same bond again.

11. If he feels intense jealousy when seeing her with someone else.

Three adults are outdoors with a scenic background of hills and a town. In the foreground, a woman with blonde hair and a bearded man hold hands and face each other. In the background, a second man looks at them with an expression of surprise or concern.

When a breakup is a relief, one doesn’t feel much if they see their ex with a new partner. If instead, a man feels jealous when he sees his former lady happy with someone new—maybe remarried with a new baby—he’s devastated at the loss of what might have been.

12. When he hears about how well someone else is treating her and feels immense regret.

A person wearing a blue and white checkered shirt and jeans is sitting by a large window, holding a phone and looking outside with a thoughtful expression. The background shows a blurred view of buildings and an open area outside.

If word gets to him that her new partner is treating her amazingly well, he may look back at his past actions and feel huge amounts of regret that he didn’t treat her better when he had the chance, and likely lost her due to a lack of investment and effort toward her.