12 Major Triggers That Push Husbands To Leave Their Wives

These things will likely lead him to leave his wife.

A woman in a mustard sweater kneels on the floor, crying and clinging to the leg of a man standing beside her with a suitcase. The scene appears to take place in a living room with a couch and lamp in the background.

A lot of people who’ve ended up divorced have said that their split came “out of nowhere”, and that they had no idea how or why things got so bad. Below are 12 key reasons why a man may end up leaving his wife. If any of them resonate with you, it’s a good idea to sort them out before it’s too late.

1. Things have been one-sided for far too long.

A woman with long brown hair leans towards a seated man in a blue shirt, who gestures with one hand while looking away. They are in a cozy living room with a window and shelves filled with books in the background.

He may pour a ton of energy, money, effort, and so on, into her that is never reciprocated, like being a taxi driver and wallet while she offers nothing in return. Her emotional (and other) needs always take front and center, while his come a distant second, if they are even considered at all.

2. She abuses him.

A young woman with red hair is shouting at a young man with curly brown hair. The man appears startled, pulling back slightly with his hands raised defensively. The woman has a clenched fist, and both are against a plain white background.

If his wife is constantly physically and emotionally hostile toward him—even if she feels justified doing it—the love is going to quickly fade. Wife-on-husband abuse is often overlooked or disregarded, but it shouldn’t be. People seek peace with their partner. If home is a place of conflict, then they won’t want to be there, nor with their wife, anymore.

3. She misrepresented herself.

A man with long dark hair, beard, and mustache, wearing a white t-shirt and dark shirt, rests his head on his hand and looks thoughtful. A blurred figure of another person in the background also appears upset. The setting seems to be indoors.

She may have presented herself as the perfect partner in order to lock him into a marriage, only to reveal a colder, more self-serving reality once the honeymoon period has passed. This often happens with narcissists, and their real personalities are too awful and manipulative to love, or even tolerate.

4. She uses him.

A woman and a man sit at an outdoor table with a white tablecloth, two wine glasses, and a wine bottle. The man is holding a menu, while the woman looks to the side with a thoughtful expression. Another person’s hand, holding a menu, is partially visible to the right.

Her dreams and goals are all that matter, even if they’re presented as a project that will benefit both parties. These may involve perpetual learning courses, business ventures, hobbies, and so on, which are swiftly abandoned for the next fad or thrill, while he’s stuck shouldering all of the responsibilities in their marriage.

5. She’s the princess in her own story.

A man and woman sit on a couch, facing away from each other in a tense atmosphere. The man, wearing glasses and a denim shirt, sits with his head down and hands clasped in front of him. The woman, in an orange shirt, sits upright with her back turned to the man.

He might as well be a two-dimensional cardboard cut-out who exists merely to supply her with what she feels that she wants in the moment. She may want a child, a career, vacations abroad, and get very angry when he doesn’t supply them. Everything is all about her.

6. He feels that he is shouldering all the burdens.

A man and a woman sit on a couch, both looking upset. The man, wearing a denim shirt, is leaning forward with his head resting on his hand. The woman, wearing a striped shirt, sits with her arms crossed, gazing off to the side. The background is a living room setting.

People only have so much energy, and when they’re constantly outputting and receiving very little input—and being expected to act like everything’s okay—they’ll get resentful and shut down. Whether this is intentional or because her issues prevent her from sharing the load, love is going to wear down over time.

7. Loss of intimacy.

A man and a woman sit on a couch with their arms crossed, facing forward. Both are wearing light blue shirts and jeans. The background appears to be a softly lit living room, but their facial expressions are not visible as the image is cropped at their shoulders.

Physical intimacy is foundational to any partnership that isn’t established as asexual or platonic. If they haven’t been physically intimate in known memory because she keeps refusing, he’s likely going to get resentful. That may cause the love between them to fade, and he might decide the marriage is no longer viable.

8. He feels like he can’t do anything right.

A man and a woman are sitting on a bed facing each other, engaged in an intense conversation. The woman points her finger at the man in a stern manner, while the man gestures with both hands. Both look serious and focused. The background is a simple, light-colored room.

No matter what he does (or doesn’t do), she’ll inevitably find something cutting or critical to say about him. Nobody enjoys being criticized by their supposed loved ones at every turn, and it’s almost impossible to keep loving a person who’s perpetually being judgemental and insulting. He’ll seek a way out eventually.

9. She constantly disrespects him.

A man in a rust-colored jacket sits on the floor with a solemn expression, leaning against a bed. In the background, a woman in a tan sweater sits on the bed, looking at him with concern. The room has wooden floors, light curtains, and a plant in the corner.

He’ll establish a boundary and she oversteps it. Maybe she makes jokes about him or otherwise emasculates him when they’re with company. Or she might insult him or mock him to his face for no good reason. Love can’t flourish without respect, and flagrant disrespect will destroy love—and a marriage—very quickly.

10. She cheats on him.

A woman in a white tank top is holding a smartphone and looking thoughtfully to the side. In the background, a man is lying in bed, facing away and appearing to be asleep. The room has a dark backdrop, adding a contrasting element to the scene.

While some men might be able to keep loving—and reconcile with—their wives after infidelity, the betrayal of having been cheated causes most of them to stop loving, trusting, or respecting their spouses. Things get even worse if he forgives her for an indiscretion, only for her to keep cheating.

11. There’s no communication between them.

A woman with blonde hair and a serious expression sits at a kitchen counter, resting her chin on her hand. A man with graying hair sits next to her, looking pensive with his hand supporting his face. Both have coffee mugs in front of them.

Communication is also foundational for any relationship, and if they don’t talk anymore, then the marriage is going to dissolve sooner or later. This doesn’t need to involve big, heavy conversations either, but can be as simple as sharing ideas or talking about things that pique their interest over dinner.

12. Familiarity sometimes breeds contempt and/or disinterest.

A woman with blonde hair wearing a striped shirt sits at the edge of a bed, looking distressed and holding her forehead. In the background, a man with dark hair leans back, propped up on the bed, appearing to be in a reflective or troubled state.

For some people, the familiarity and banality of married life can dampen both romantic interest and love in general. Some couples become more like siblings or housemates over time, and although there’s still some care present, love has faded. It sometimes even turns to contempt, especially in cramped quarters with no alone time.