If you don't want to be alone for the rest of your life, avoid these 12 social mistakes

These things push others away from you.

An elderly woman with light-colored hair and blue eyes is resting her head on her folded arms. She wears a white shirt with pink polka dots and has a thoughtful, wistful expression. The background is softly blurred, suggesting an indoor setting.

If you’ve ever wondered why some people seem to have a lot of friends or a really great partner, know that a lot has to do with how they behave in social situations. The difference between having a strong social life and being an outsider can come down to whether someone makes the following social mistakes or not:

1. Gossiping.

Two people are sitting on a couch, with one whispering into the other's ear. In the background, a person is sitting at a desk, wearing headphones and smiling. Shelves and household items are visible in the softly lit room.

If someone tells you something in confidence, then you need to keep it to yourself. Period. Although this juicy bit of information seems so tantalizing that you feel you need to share it with others, doing so will signal to your social circle that you can’t be trusted with sensitive information. And if they can’t open up to you, your bond will be shallow, and shallow friendships eventually fade away.

2. Not keeping your word about commitments.

A young woman with shoulder-length dark hair, wearing a beige sweater, stands against a plain white background. She has a puzzled expression, with her eyebrows slightly raised and arms outstretched with palms up in a questioning gesture.

A person’s word only has value if they keep it. If you’ve told someone that you’ll pick them up from a health procedure and you fail to show up, or you offer to help someone financially only to renege at the last minute, that also shows a startling lack of integrity.

3. Cyberstalking.

A woman in a red shirt sits at an outdoor cafe, resting her head on her hand and looking down at her smartphone with a pensive expression. There are blurred buildings and greenery in the background.

If you follow a new acquaintance on all social media platforms immediately after meeting them, that’s going to make them uncomfortable. It takes time to get close to people, and trying to do this too quickly will make them nervous, especially if you “like” hundreds of their photos from 2002 in one go.

4. Overstepping boundaries.

Two women sit at an outdoor café, engaged in a conversation. The woman in a red jacket gestures emotionally with her hands, appearing frustrated or upset. Two white cups are on the table in front of them, and the background shows an overcast sky and trees.

People establish personal boundaries for a reason, and those need to be respected—whether they’re agreed with or not. If you mock someone for their boundaries or try to push past them because you think they’re ridiculous, they (and those close to them) won’t want the discomfort of having you around.

5. Rudeness.

A man in a blue shirt is sitting at a restaurant table with a plate of food, looking confused or frustrated as he talks to a female server who is out of focus. The table has a glass of wine. The background shows shelves with wine bottles and glasses.

It’s neither cool nor acceptable to be demeaning toward others, including those who work in service industries. If you’re out with others and you insult the wait staff or retail staff members, you’ll mortify and alienate everyone around you. The same goes for being obnoxious in social media interactions.

6. Ignoring subtle social cues.

Two women sitting at a cafe table, engaged in conversation. One woman, wearing glasses and a grey blazer, holds a cup of coffee and a pastry. The other woman, in a beige sweater with a long braid, holds a glass of juice. They appear to be enjoying a casual chat.

This may be difficult to navigate if you’re neurodivergent (for example, autistic, ADHD or both). Learning about neurotypical body language cues can help, but it’s important to note the onus shouldn’t only be on neurodivergent people to make all the effort. Neurotypical people can help by being clear with their intent rather than assuming it’s implied. If you’re struggling to “read the room”, don’t be afraid to ask. A lot of misunderstandings and miscommunications can be avoided this way.

7. Staring.

Close-up of a person staring thoughtfully into the distance. The image focuses on their eyes and part of their face, showing details of their skin texture, eyelashes, and eyebrows. The background features a warm, orange light, adding an ambient glow.

We get it: a lot of people are intrigued by those who are different from them, and get curious about facial differences, gender identities, and so on. That said, gawking at someone like they’re a circus spectacle is incredibly rude. It makes them uncomfortable, and others won’t want to be associated with your poor behavior.

8. Making assumptions instead of seeking clarification.

Two women are in a living room. The woman in the foreground, wearing a pink top, has an expression of confusion and is shrugging. The woman in the background, on the couch, is wearing a light blue top and has her hand outstretched, as if explaining something.

Many relationships—both platonic and romantic—have been damaged by people making assumptions about each other’s words or actions and then acting upon those assumptions, rather than seeking clarification and moving onward from there. If and when you’re ever in doubt about what another has said or done, ask.

9. Asking inappropriate questions.

Two men are casually chatting in an office. The man on the left is holding a red notebook, while the man on the right is holding a basketball and pointing. Other people in the background appear to be engaged in conversation. The setting is relaxed and informal.

Asking new acquaintances (or potential partners) invasive or otherwise inappropriate questions is a surefire way to alienate them. If people want to share personal details with you, then they’ll do so. If they don’t, stick to neutral topics that are appropriate for polite-but-friendly conversation, like food, entertainment, nature, and so on.

10. Overstaying your welcome.

A woman wearing a red dress and large pink sunglasses is smiling and waving as she looks through a partly open wooden gate. Bright sunlight enhances the cheerful atmosphere, and the background shows parts of a building and a garden.

If you’re invited to someone’s house, ensure that you don’t overstay your welcome, nor invite yourself to partake in their activities. Aim for 30 minutes for a coffee meetup unless they encourage you to stay a few minutes longer, but excuse yourself well before anyone’s energy starts to flag.

11. Being pushy.

Three women are sitting around a table with white mugs, engaged in a conversation. One of them, with long brown hair, gestures animatedly while speaking, looking at the other two. They are in a bright room with white walls and furniture.

When it comes to social interactions, the general rule to follow is: “Don’t insist, desist”. It’s fine to invite people to things, but don’t be pushy or demanding. They have their own life schedules and commitments. The same goes for offering unsolicited advice about what other people “should” do.

12. Perpetually bragging.

If you’ve achieved or purchased things that bring you a great deal of pride, that’s great, but don’t brag about it all the time to everyone in earshot. Dropping nuggets about your Mercedes, your famous friends, and your accolades won’t earn you respect, but will instead have the opposite effect.